All Comments on 'Take My Card Ch. 01'

Great start, I'll be interested to see what's yet to come.

i dont know, kind of to much to take/

This is fantastic, I love the mystery device of the cards!

This was a great first chapter, although it would have been good to have a flashback after the first scene of him having sex with Sarah as to how he got his powers and the like. Looking forward to your future works!

For heaven's sake get an editor or proofreader instead of just spell checking. Women do not wear "pantries", it is not a "kind size bed" and so on. There are so many grammer issues I gave up reading this on the first page.

Wow this has a lot of potential but the lack of any kind of editing is atrocious

Good story. Agreed with everyone else you just need grammar and proofing. It's not hard or expensive just do it.

The friend was Ashley, then became Cassie?