All Comments on 'Talking It Up With Jill'

The length worked well, given what you're trying to do. Excellent the way she's drawn in and the tension builds. Please do continue.

I liked it. Thanks. Mancelt.

Just not a fantasy I understand or like much. Good luck.

Excellent writing. Please continue with a plot line including the teenage pool crashers. Lots of possibility there for pushing the wife to tease them,with your fantasy lurking in her brain.

A little less talk and a lot more action as the song goes. Yes, let a domineering stud open this wife up in all of her orifices.

Very well written and plausible. I gave it a 5. I think we need to ignore scores for stories in this category, though. The best ones start off weighted down by a pile of zeroes sent in by a handful of guys who live with their mothers and have access to multiple computers.

Keep writing. And, yes, the teenage boy connection needs to be exploited.

I would love to watch a young Big Cocked pool boy, nail my wife till she screamed for hours. Pound her in the doggie position, hands and knees. Then later that day, I would feel all his big cock juice in her.

for once a couple is talking about fantasies that can never come reality, cause this would destroy it all. That's a fact. Reality might be an unforgetable experiance and there is the problem. a couple has not only nice days if they stay together for a long time. so if the experiance was good for both, for one of them, bad for both or one of them does not matter. it'll change everything. like the guy said, the men were faceless and in the end it was him fucking her brain away and liking it, just he could multiply himself in his fantasy to be 10 men. living out fantasies like that talking to each other and playing it is really great if you have the right partner to play the game. living it kills every couple to many emotions are involved + 10 other guys emotions too. so dividing feelings is loosing feelings. he will feel he just goT 1/10, maybe not the second it happens but later (that's why we have so many depressed swingers who are not able anymore going in a relationsship, they are lost and empty). she will get 11 feelings and for sure does not know anymore which one she can trust anymore. I would keep this story the way it is and not write the chapter a real encounter but maybe have them living out one of her fantasies together at home, like in this chapter. it would almost be a novelty nowadays (real life and literotica stories) that a couple is a) able to talk to each other and b)stay together without involving others.

I’m filling the job application at the construction site for my wife. Get busy processing it please…hurry!

Fiction / Smiktion - you neglected how jaded the sought male humiliation would cause any she to despise her pimp and begin to look for a real man she could respect.<P>

Failing that it is just another story about a poor excuse for a male seeking self disrespect / self humiliation because the fetish of self inflicted scorn is the only sick act to excite him anymore.<P>

Lastly - the talent wasted is curious but then there is no accounting for who is sick and wanting more. Sad for those around you writer because you are what you do & invest time in - therefore see sick value in.

The only real problem is punctuation. Several times I became lost because the end quote marks were missing. One more time proof reading focusing on that should clear it up.

******** Aside from that, it was well told as a fantasy, but taking it to reality with a real encounter would eventually destroy this marriage. That is, at least as you have written this female character. She is truly a monogamous happily married woman, so why try to change her by putting her in slut situations. Keeping it at the fantasy level could provide some GREAT times for both of them. Taking it to a real encounter would definitely change BOTH of their lives forever.

You need a lot more, just to finish this segment. You need part II just to finish off her thoughts and new understanding about the pool boy, after her living through the fantasy. Lot's of room for expansion here. And by the way, those who are bitching about punctuation aren't really reading or enjoying the story because they're too worried that you might end a sentence in a preposition. Keep this story going...great detail, great emotional connection, greater anticipated development.

Excellent for your first story!!! Be sure to use the same approach, building slowly to the natural finish..........a real encounter!!! The fantasy is just too powerful to leave it unfulfilled!

I loved this story and it is a great first story. I would have loved to hear more about what Jill was thinking, especially near the end. A follow up completing the fantasy by making it real is definitely in order! Bravo

Very good stuff... keep it going

thanks for a very involving story, would love to see where it goes...

THis is such an awesome story, so well written, and the tension is built up so well. Please carry on! I would love to read some more, maybe one or 2 chapters where they consider the idea some more, perhaps trying it (like going to a club, with her wearing sexy stuff, getting a man to seduce her, but not going all the way, instead they go home and replay the fantasy), and then 2 further chapters, where they finally cross the line (maybe 1st with 1 pool boy, where she'll still be in control, because hes so young, and then final chapter, with a bunch of construction workers, where she really lives the fantasy to its fullest, being used and abused). Thats lots of writing, but hey, you know hava fans to satisfy!!

I loved this story.....soo well built up......I certainly hope you take this story to the next level....a real encounter of some kind ......

Never start a story off by apologizing for anything. Let the reader decide what's to like/dislike. Now it's time to post the next part of the couple's story. I'd suggest you drop the slang "gonna"s and "wanna"s; also the yessss's and other faddish grammar. They don't help the story.

Looking forward to more erotica from jack7.

keep it a fantasy , but in your next story have jill suprise him with her fantasy, one that knocks him for a loop , like maybe a three way with another woman

or her being a voyeur watching him with a couple of women.

But what would happen if she encountered the real thing,it would be even hotter for both of them.

Good storyline and a well written and managed story

What is quite strange is that at some point in the story, fantasy boy Louis failed to rent at least one of the several "Silvia Kristel" Emmanuelle films on video to show to his wife. I would imagine that excerpts would even be available on the internet.

Fantastic story!

I enjoyed reading this story, with a hard cock and wishing this was my wife.

Please continue

Joe

Really well written---and real! You MUST take it to thre next level, this time with a group of men that are allowed to strip her and fuck her senseless on a pool table. With you there with her she lets everything go and screams at them to ram their dicks into her cunt.She is fucked and cums so much that you usher the men out after them fucking her repeatily and carry her back to your room to clean her up--- but before , she wants you now to fuck her and to tell each other how much you love each other. She says she loves you and trusts you more than ever before now!

Great job!

SouthernGentleman

A beautiful story indeed...amazing!!! Bravo! Keep going please...

NOT MY BAG.... SO, UNO ESTRELLA

Enjoyed it. I appreciate the dialogue between them and the build up.

Any man who would treat a wife like in your story is sick, I just hope you are not married and hope no woman ever lets you near her much less marry you. I love my wife with all my heart and would never have such a fantasy as I would never entertain letting another man near my wife. You are mentally sick and should seek professional help "NOW" . Please don't write anymore.

The anons go back to a 6 year old story and can't help but read it before they tell you how "SICK" you are! Only on Literotica people, only on Literotica!

$20 says they read all three chapters!

Not my bag at all, so I didn't read past the first chapter. Your writing is relatively good except when you are in the throes of descriptive sex talk (which I mostly skipped over. I hope you write some more in a different mode.

Others have commented on your punctuation and paragraphing. Here are some grammar errors I spotted; corrections in brackets:

Chapter 1 Page 1

… after stopping by home for lunch I found he [him] and one of his friends going for a swim.

"Being watched?" "Um hmm. You and I [me]." [If they were going to do something, then "you and I" (subjective) but if something is being done to them, then "you and me" (objective)]

Page 2

And...it's so kinky. So kinky for you and I [me] to...to let him have me.

… and it made me think." "About he and I [him and me]?" "Yeah."

"God, Louis," Jill breathed. "You're talking about he and I [him and me] like you're not even here."

This is a great fantasy and very well written. Thank you very much and I look forward to chapter 4!

Such honesty in a relationship is an amazing and wonderful thing.

Unusual because most stories jump into taboo sex. How did the wife become agreeable with that? This story is a pretty believable account of that process. Kudos to the author for a well written story. This is a common male sex fantasy if we go by survey results, BTW.

You write as if from experience. At least it resembles mine. Several years of fantasy before an attempt at reality. I know we whispered our fantasies many more times than we lived them. Why? Because we never stopped fantasizing, even while actively living them. And the whispered fantasies were in most cases always as good as the real life culminations. The reality was so scary, so doubt filled, so daunting. But eventually my wife and I spent a decade fulfilling fantasies, some better, some not so good. But, if I had it to do again, I'm sure I would. One last thought, our descriptions of our fantasies were long, incredibly detailed, well spoken, and incredibly dirty. We only spoke to one another like that, never when involved with someone else. Our, "Dirty talk" was only for us, and we got good at it...

One might almost think most people really like this drek.

Nice try.

This is so good! I read some to my wife and she got REAL interested. We finished it together and then...

After reading this whole body of work I finally read this first chapter. Duh! I should have read it first. Now I think I understand the basis for the stories. Jack7 writes about a very specific fantasy, wife sharing with strangers (which is fine by me; this IS fantasy). The sex occurs about the same way each time and Louis watches and participates to a limited extent. But the cool thing is that neither the bull nor Jill humiliates Louis, and the bull treats Jill with respect even as he fucks her silly. Jill is about the coolest, cutest, middle-aged woman ever made and she really gets it on with the partners Louis finds for her. She maintains a charming innocence throughout even though they've done this multiple times. She's not fooling me; she likes it! Just read chapter three with her dress up role playing if you doubt this. But she adores her husband and would never play without him leading the way. Jill is the ideal wife for wife sharing and those many husbands who share this fantasy will probably agree. We want Jill! The dialogue conveys the intensity of the scenes and the set-up, while long, is mostly plausible and contributes to the overall hotness. It's prolonged foreplay. I'd like to see Jill expand her sexual repertoire a little. She is such a pleaser and she seems orally inclined. Turn her loose a little, Jack!

Pretty low bar for your fantasy.

Yeah worth the wait and build up,i struggle to get into the long stories but the start of this is great. Its a 100% real,ive basically did the same thing with my mrs,once there comfortable with your fantasy talk the sky is the limit...well written,i can really relate..

Thank you for taking the time to write such an erotic tale. Looking forward to reading the rest of your chapters. :-)

After I discovered this series I come back often to enjoy the imagery; it never gets old! Nice work!

a short phrase. He wanted to see his wife with an other man. Simple. He wasted three pages to say this.

Very well put together regardless of where it goes now - it could go anywhere. Thanks

What kind of man talks about having his wife "mate" with someone else? That is seriously disgusting.

Great story, well written. Very creative. 5 stars.

"Don't let the story length discourage you." - Writing this good, that's not going to be a problem!! Maybe it's just a big short... ;)

Very erotic and descriptive writing.

This is my favorite story. The whole fantasy shared is my biggest turn on. Well done. I look forward to the others and would really like to know if there any other authors who take the same tactic of sharing between loving couple of the fantasies without actually going through it.

Sharing fantasies requires such trust and demonstrates the strength of a relationship. I agree the goal need not be fulfillment of the fantasy, just enjoy the mind’s amazing capacity to enhance reality.

I would love to find more stories like this one. Are there any suggested authors that capture the loving relationship that can tolerate this level of intimacy?

This is the hottest set of stories on this site. Please keep them going.

I love your writing. The detail and emotion. I had a girlfriend who was an escort. She was highly sexed. She could describe encounters similar to what you describe of Jill. She would have orgasms just recounting the event. I loved holding her as she exploded and got so hard I thought I would bust veins in my dick. Then we made gentle sensuous love. Other times we would screw like beasts. I have read all your stuff! My wife loves it, too.

Very hot story. Story is so good I am reading this for the fifth time. After so many times story still never fails to excite me..

Great build up. Just like a couple tries to learn what works for each other, the same can be done with a fantasy. Her feedback shows that she likes the domination and the roughness. We’ll see how reality compares.

While badly in need of a proofreading, this story was so erotic that I was able to "read around" most the distracting errors. I'm looking forward to reading the second chapter.

I gave it 5 stars without a comment. I will have to give it another 5

Phew!

*Fans self*

I had to come back to compliment you on this story! I didn't understand the point you made at the beginning about taking time to read the buildup - it is essential and by the end of this part I read the next couple of parts without a break. This story is probably the best I've read on Literotica. IT contained the elements of a great relationship - with the wife willing to try everything to please her man and him wanting her to get as much out of the activities as does he. Well back now to finish the later parts .....................

Outstanding fantasy role play. A great example for guys on how to express their fantasies to their woman, and get her involved. Great mental foreplay

Wish me luck. Tonight I’m going to finally admit this to my wife.

My 30 year adventure with my wife started much like this!

This is a great story and well written . It leaves me wanting more