The B.F.G.

I've been really enjoying Sandy's time. She's gotten up on the board in just three days. Today was tough though. She seemed so deflated. Sometimes I wonder if monogamy is harder to handle that a poly life. Cheating is cheating just the same. I'd be hurt if Liz was having an emotional affair.

There's only been one occasion we had to invoke our right to veto relationships. That was shortly after we got together. Liz was concerned about the jealous behaviour of a lady friend I had. Possessive language in text messages, wanting me to stay the night. That sort of thing. It was an argument and a half, but in the end I simply had to respect her right to veto Abigail. After all there may come a time when the shoe is on the other foot.

It's the disrespect of lying and feeling like she's been treated like a fool that hurt her the most. Sandy told me they'd been trying for kids, so she felt like the rug had been pulled out from under her feet. Liz said Georgia spent the morning with her at the doctors and she had some STD tests and got an IUD fitted to take care of any swimmers Brad left behind. Still, she was really flat and not her usual sassy self.

"Do you mind?" smiles a young beachy looking girl. Her blonde hair is held in a ponytail that emphasises her long tanned neck. She indicates the seat beside me at the table I've claimed.

"Not at all, I'm Tim." I offer her my hand and she shakes it after placing her drinks down on the table.

Her handshake is warm and firm. "I'm Sarah. Thanks, it's busy tonight. Standing room only."

"You're welcome. Are you just thirsty or do you have company?" I nod at the second drink and assume she's here with a boyfriend.

"Ha, sounds lame, but I'm here with Mum. Girl's night out."

"You?" Her blush is faint but pretty, "Here on your own, I mean?"

"Yeah, my partner is having a sleepover with some girlfriends, so I've got the evening to myself."

"Oh. Didn't see a ring." She winks.

"Not married."

"Been together long?" It seems like a friendly question, not a flirty one.

"About three years now."

"Still happy?"

"Yup." I nod.

"Lucky you." She grumbles. "Tonight was Mum's idea. Messy breakup a couple of weeks ago."

"I'm empty. Would you like a drink while I'm up?"

"Oh. Um... Well yeah, that would be nice. A vodka and orange please. My shout next. I don't know where Mum's got to." Her smile is pretty I decide.

On the way to the bar, I wonder if I should try to stamp my hallpass with the little blonde. She's not really my type. She's young and she's quite fit looking. I tend to be attracted to more curvy girls. Liz is quite petite and the exception to my type. Her intellect and sense of mischief is more attractive to me than any amount of curves.

Getting ahead of myself in any case I imagine. A little bit of friendly banter is welcome though. Might pull my head out of the macrocosm of the girls' re-union.

When I return, a woman who could only be Sarah's mother is sitting with her. Handing Sarah her drink, I take the seat they've saved for me. I lose my view of the ocean but I have no complaints.

"Trish." She smiles. "You're Tim and you're every bit as handsome as my little girl said."

"Muuum." Sarah rolled her eyes and laughs through her furious blush.

"Well Sarah's very kind, Trish. I see now where she gets her looks." It's cheap and I'm rewarded with a laugh.

"Flattery will get you everywhere young man." She's simply a curvier, slightly older version of Sarah. I'd guess around forty and very well groomed. Much more my style.

Conversation flowed easily for another few rounds of drinks. I leaned that Sarah is a volunteer with the surf club, that she split from her fiancé after she found he'd been gambling with their savings. Something like six thousand dollars gone on the horses.

Trish was fascinating too. She owned a business in Kawana that mostly operated on-line. When she excused herself to use the ladies, Sarah said, "Ask her what she sells. You'll get a giggle out of watching her try and explain."

She's relaxed a lot with the drinks but not become messy like a lot of young people do. I'm quite thankful for the company too. I had almost decided to make my way home and watch some Netflix in the room. This social distraction is refreshing.

"So, Sarah tells me your business has in interesting product line." I smile as I watch Trish roll her eyes and blush.

"Bitch." She laughs and playfully slaps Sarah's shoulder. "Adult goods. Sex toys, lingerie, bdsm gear, all the bells and whistles."

"Oh, tally-ho Trish. So, it really is a pleasure doing business?"

"Haha. You would think so but mostly it's like running a warehouse. No naughty stuff at all, more's the pity. Now that Sah's single though, I do have an enthusiastic product evaluation team."

"Muuumm! I'm sorry Tim, she's relentless."

"You'll only be single as long as you want to be, Sarah. There'll be plenty of men wanting to make life miserable again for you." I tell her.

"Nnggh. Not on the coast. Plenty of fish in the sea but they're all blind bottom dwellers with funny light things on their heads." She laughs.

My phone dings in my pocket where it's been forgotten.

[thought you'd like this picture, lover mine.]

Liz has attached a picture of Tammy standing next to Brian with her beautiful brown boobs proudly on display.

[Love it baby girl. How's the sleepover?] "Excuse me just a moment, my partner." I feel rude ignoring the ladies.

[Going well. All shits and giggles so far. How's your night going? Found a pretty victim?]

I look up and wonder for a moment. Fuck it... "Hey ladies. Would you like to help me tease Liz a little?"

"Sure," says Trish. Sarah shrugs.

"We have a kind of openish sort of thing. She wants to know what I'm up to. Can I send a picture of you two to her?"

"Really? That's hot." Says Trish laughing, "I have such a problem with monogamy."

"Ha, that's the understatement of the century." Laughs Sarah, "How do you want us Tim?" Her voice is as saucy as her wink.

"Just lean in a bit closer together and wave for me."

I snap a picture and send it off to Liz who texts right back.

[Fuck yeah, lover mine. That looks like a sportsman's double. Good luck Romeo.]

[Thanks. Love you baby girl. See you in the morning.]

[Night Tim.]

"So, did you get a rise out of her?" Asks Trish and I hand over the phone.

"Ooh. So, you guys do... The number of times, I've heard that line from married men. If I had a dollar you know. Just saying."

"What's a sportsman's double?" Sarah asks naively.

"A threesome with a mother and daughter. Or it can be a threesome with a father and son, but I don't think Tim here would be into that." Laughs Trish.

"Oh my god." Sarah says and drinks thoughtfully. "That would be fucking weird right. Like with your Mum right there and... God."

"Ladies, back it up a little. I'm enjoying the conversation and company. I'm not pushing anything, but I like the way you're thinking." I wink at her and Sarah relaxes a little and studies me for a moment. Now it's been brought up, the notion plays in the back of my mind, but I don't want these ladies feeling pressured. I do want the thought there though.

"How old are you anyway, mate?" she asks.

"Thirty-two."

"You don't look that old." She blushes again, "I mean, not that that is really old. Well not like Mum old. Damn it. I'm just going to shut-up now."

Trish and I both laugh at her embarrassment and Trish says, "Forty-two. Had this little jerk when I was twenty-two. But a lady isn't supposed to tell now is she."

"Damn Trish... I hope I look as good at forty-two as you do." I tell her honestly.

My phone chooses that moment to ding again.

"Excuse me."

[Oh god Timmy, Sandy's so fucked up. Her self-esteem is like totally rock bottom.]

[Yeah, she was pretty flat today.]

[Look, I've never pressured you into anything ever. Well maybe Emily a bit, but that worked out okay. Maybe if Sandy, Fuck I don't know.]

[You want me to fuck Sandy?]

[No. Yes. Well. I want you to make her feel attractive.]

[Not a long shot. She's a hotty.]

[God, I love you, lover mine. You know what I mean though okay?]

[I guess.]

[How's it going with the double?]

[Ha they're great to talk to. Up to them. You've worn me out a little, baby girl.]

[Wish I was there. Maybe we could cross another thing off the bucket list.]

[Wait, a MFFF is on your list?]

[Not exactly, but that would be hot as fuck.]

[You're a bad girl.]

[It's why you love me. Oh shitballs...]

[What?]

[This video. Talk in the morning, lover mine.]

When I finish texting, I look up to find Sarah returning with another round of drinks and her Mum fixing me with a serious glare.

"Not polite to text in company. Hand it over mister." I'm not so sure I should but do anyway.

"Holy fuck! Your partner is a wild one." Sarah gestures for the phone and Trish hands it over.

"Jesus Tim... What the heck is a MFFF even?" Sarah asks.

"Male, Female-"

"Female, female..." She finishes. "How the heck does that even work?" Sarah asks.

"Um, she has a little bi streak. Not a preference but she does enjoy a lady friend now and then." I explain.

"Woah. So, like, I think she's suggesting... Holy fuck." Sarah blushes red.

"She'd like you." I tease the teen. "She's a fit little thing too."

"Hot damn." Trish laughs. "You really are a surprise Tim. Who is Sarah?"

So, I explain. If you want to galvanise two women into a unit, the idea of a jilted woman is just the thing and our conversation centres on ways to help Sandy feel better about herself and how men in general are shit. It's nearing eleven o'clock on a school night and I'm feeling weary after being used like a blow-up Ken doll since Friday. I can't help the yawn.

"Sorry." I apologise, "Been a long week. Thank you for your company. I was feeling a bit like a spare dick sitting around out here by myself. I really should think about heading off soon though."

Trish smiles and Sarah nods.

"I'm off to meet some friends upstairs at Fridays anyway, Tim. How long are you here for?" Sarah asks.

"Till Sunday, love. Here." I write my number on the back of a coaster with my pen.

"Fucking dinosaur!" She laughs at me. "Give me that." I watch as she taps at her phone and puts my number in, then does the same with her Mum's and mine.

"Hey... I resemble that." Trish laughs, "Tim, I was thinking..." She leans over and whispers with Sarah for a moment. After some nodding, she continues, "Sah's having a... um... toy party tomorrow night. Bunch of ladies. We giggle and hopefully sell a bunch of battery-operated distractions. Perhaps you and Liz would like to come along. You could model some stuff for us."

"Haha. Trish, love... I had to give up my modelling career when I got old and ugly. Besides, you won't want a guy around, cramping your lady styles."

"Nonsense, Tim. I usually pay a stripper to come and model. It's a lot of fun. I think your Liz would get a kick out of watching you squirm under the attention. Bring Sandy. It would be awesome for her too. Think about it. We'll talk tomorrow."

The walk home is fresh and mostly my mind has cleared from the fizzy drinks by the time I card myself into the unit. I smell like perfume and know I have lipstick on my cheeks from the hugs and kisses goodbye. You'd think that with the recent attention from the two ladies, I'd be lost in fantasies of mother-daughter shenanigans but instead, I'm worried for Sandy.

My last thoughts as I towel off my hair and pull on some boxers is of her broken-hearted smile when I congratulated her on that spectacular switch she pulled when the wave was stalling. She's come so far in just a few days and to see her crushed pulls at heart strings.

I'm not very sure that Liz's idea about... Well, I have feelings for her. Liz has feelings for her. It's a mine field I feel I should avoid. The possibility of the sexual attractions morphing with the affection and turning into something larger are red flagged. I'll talk to Liz in the morning.

She always knows how to fuck things up spectacularly. It's part of why I love her.

.............................

THE B.F.G.

I wake to a sky full of stars and dawns blushed promise of another day. After spending two months in a coma, I treasure this moment of affirmation. It's like opening my eyes that time in hospital finally.

This morning it's even more poignant as Little Red is right where she was when I came out of the coma. Within arm's reach. Asleep.

So, I sit and watch the day chase the night from the sky and listen to the sounds of the world waking and these two people breathing. Her little man refused to go down in Mum's room for her, clinging to my leg in defiance.

"No Nan. Me sleep wif Bwyin."

Mum laughed. "Apple didn't fall far from that big red tree."

I woke when Jacinta came in last night and listened as she spoke with Mum. My hearing is a lot better than most peoples. I guess to compensate for my communication difficulties. I couldn't hear them clearly when they went outside but the tone of their conversation carried and it sounded a lot like Little Red had rounded a corner.

Settling down next to me on the couch was unexpected. But there she is still. Off in peaceful dreams, smiling in her sleep like she always did. And on my other side a little bundle of red-haired boy smiling exactly the same.

If only every dawn could be like this.

I first realised I loved her when she had that trouble with her stepfather. It was about a year after my accident and my head was still difficult. Fuzzy and slow. Everything had come so easily for me before the accident and now I could hardly do a simple crossword. Mechanical stuff came quickly to me, and so did numeracy and spacial stuff but anything to do with language took a lot of time.

I'd been there to hold Little Red while she cried and told Mum and then the police everything that bastard had done to her. She wouldn't leave me. Not even when the CPU detectives wanted to talk to her. So, I heard every single thing.

And I kept my mouth shut. I wanted to scream in rage. But I kept my mouth shut even as they described the medical examination and the court procedures to her and her mother. I even kept it shut when I listened to Jacinta tell them that she couldn't do court. Couldn't tell strangers the details. Just wanted it all to go away. I shut my mouth and the rage boiled inside me.

But I held her gently.

When Little Red kissed me as she left with her Mum, her tearstained face triggered something in me that frightened me.

Dad found me two blocks from the motel the snivelling filth had holed up in after Mrs Morgan threw him out. I was carrying a wrecking bar and a shovel. Dad was a big man. But later, even he admitted fear when he saw my eyes.

It took him near an hour to talk me through that red haze of anger. Longer probably, seeing how I had to sign everything to him. I don't really remember much of what he said until later when we sat on the verandah and I started to settle. The port tasted disgusting, but his words burned themselves into my mind.

"Your anger is what happens to love when your people are threatened. It's there to protect them. Not for vengeance, not for personal gain but a gift of strength to be harnessed in the protection of those you love."

And in that moment, I realised the cute crush the little girl had always had on me had grown inside me as well. No longer were my feelings kindness and brotherly but they'd become romantic. And that was a problem.

Dad nodded as he watched my quiet face reflect my thoughts.

"We know. We've known for a long time. We haven't said anything because we've always trusted you."

I nodded. I was stumbling through this too.

"But there's a level of maturity and authority problem." He highlighted, like I didn't already know that I was nineteen and she'd just turned fourteen. "She'd do anything to please you because she loves you and she's coming into grown up girl feelings."

"Shit." I never swore around Pastor Grant.

"Yup. Shit." He agreed.

"It's gonna get real hard for you, son. She's becoming a woman and discovering all the same feelings you explored with Olivia and somehow, you are going to have to find the strength to let her explore them with people her own age."

"Fuck."

"Yup. Just like now, you are going to have to learn to respect her choices. Her body. Her rules. She doesn't want to go to court. You just show her you respect that and love her just the same."

"Fuck."

"Yup. There is an imbalance that prevents you from following your heart. That same heart that loves her enough to want to go and smash that evil man with a bar and bury him... Your relationship with her is built on a brotherly trust and authority. It would be wrong to take advantage of it. Until such time as you are equals in maturity and authority..."

"Fuck."

"Yup." He poured us both a second port. "Yup... And between now and then she may even choose someone else. "

"So, what do I do?"

"Hold on. Be there. Be the man she compares every boy to. And if the day ever comes when you can honestly say she is your equal at least and..." He laughed, "I was done for. Your mother was always a street or two ahead of me... but, you take that girl with both hands and hold on tight to her. She loves you, heart, mind and soul. Don't let her go if you get the chance to hold her."

"Fuck."

"Yup."

We sat there, swatting mosquito's and looking at the glasses of dirty port we were trying to drink and I don't know what my Dad was thinking but I was low. I was in a box with no way out. Trapped by my own nature.

"In feudal times, I would have just bought her from her mother for a pig or something. But nowadays, you're fucked." His bellowing laugh was a very infrequent occurrence. So was the use of the 'f' bomb. So was his hurried, skolling of his port glass. "You're a good man, Brian. Remember who you are."

Her little man stirs beside me. Slapping around looking for my leg. Then he curls hard against me. It's warm in the air-conditioned unit so I know he just seeks me. I swallow down my heart's beating. I love him too. He just sort of claimed me the way that she did once.

"Are you my Dad?" He asked me that first day I met him and I wished I could tell him yes.

"I'm Brian." I spelled for him. He repeated the letters on his own fingers and then told me, "Bwyin."

The moment he sat on my shoulders and giggled I loved him.

I'm smiling at the memory when Mum stumbles out from the bedroom and snaps on the light. She looks me up and down.

"I always wanted Grandkids, you know." She laughs at herself. "Here."

Wiping sleep from my eyes I look at the trinket for a moment then take it from her and stuff it in a pocket.

"Did you put in a brekky order?"

I nod.

"Better double it." She says and rings reception.

Little Red is first to wake.

"Mmm..." She wipes her drooling mouth. "Bry?" She watches my lips like she always does.

"Red."

"Thought I was asleep. I love you."

"I know. I love you too." Her face turns dark and she tucks herself back under the blanket.

"I don't." She can't see me so it's useless saying anything.

Mum returns with cups of coffee. Cheap dirt water things from the complimentary tray but very welcome. My shoulders are sore and my neck really stiff from sleeping sitting up all night. She hands me a bunch of plastic wrapped biscuits.

"For your little mate. It seems someone else has claimed the BFG too."

Coffee draws her out. The sun is high enough now to flood the unit with purple coastal light and she blinks and squints.

"Mmmph. God. What time is it?" she asks and seeing me pull back a way, she laughs, "Fuck sorry, morning breath."

"It's almost eight o'clock, Jacinta dear." Mum tells her. "Your little man had a good night."