The B.F.G.

We're all on different journeys, but we share a common road.

A road that goes on forever and never looks quite the same to any two people.

And all those other people rushing past in their own cars are experiencing a journey just as complex as our own; with just as many twists and turns and trials.

So, take the time to wave at them and smile. It takes just a moment but may be just what they need, just when they need it as they make their own quiet busy way.

May the road rise up to meet you.

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face;

the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,

may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

CAMILLE ALISON GRANT

"Fuck yes!"

"Settle petal. Not till next month. Mum's booked the resort, so we're limited to the fab five and their plus ones."

"A whole week of sun, sand and shagalicious surfies." She's bouncing around the room like a wind-up toy gone haywire, typical Tammy stuff. "So, I'm your plus one, right? Does that mean your Mum is like cool with us?" She holds two fingers up in a 'v' sign and licks between them while waggling her eyebrows.

"Gross. But she's okay. You're my 'friend' and she has a 'don't ask' kind of policy."

"Cool fam Cam. You're not gonna get all jellyfish if I pull, are you?"

"Hell no. Been a long time between disco sticks darlin. I might even surprise you and join in."

The mess of sandy dreadlocks and smiling red lips grabs my neck and drags me in for a very tonguey kiss. "Best roomy with benefits ever."

She skips off to her bedroom and I can hear her start packing.

"It's still a month away, Moron." I yell to her.

"Fucking killjoy." She yells back.

So, yeah... Instead of a twenty-first birthday party, Mum arranged a five-year schoolies re-union for me and my five BFF's. I'm just as excited as Tamara but I've always been a little more reserved with my emotions. I mean, woah, it must be, it is, totally five years since all five of us were in the same place at the same time. We all make promises to stay in touch when school ends, but life has other ideas.

I grew up in a small town. Population was two thousand give or take. Dad worked in the oil fields. So when I say BFF's I mean the same five girls I made friends with on the first day of grade one and stayed friends with through middle and high school. Sure, we had tiffs but we were crew. Despite our teary graduation promises we have drifted apart though.

Georgia, I haven't seen since I went home for Christmas last year. She's a teacher in Mackay now. When I rang and invited her, she filled me in. Still with the same guy, moved in together now, still at the same school, still ridiculously happy. It made me a little jealous for her happiness, but that was always Georgia. She could fall in a mud puddle and find something to be happy about.

She was always the Mum of our group. She was the second oldest so maybe that's why. Her birthday was in April and she was six when she started school and turned seven mid-year. Mine is in December so I didn't turn six until December eleventh that same year and was the youngest. For god's sake she had a licence in year twelve even and I didn't get my learners until we got back from schoolies.

Sandy, she wasn't so keen on the idea of a re-union. She'd moved to Brisbane following school and had two kids already. She was always like that though, a worrier. "What'll I do with the kids? Brad can't come, he's not got any leave. He'll be wondering what I'm up to. I don't know. Let me think about it. I'll get back to you next week."

She rang back that same night. Brad had come home with a new boat. They were supposed to be saving for a house deposit. He could look after the bloody kids for the week. I don't see her too often, probably once every six months or so we meet for coffee or something. You'd think that living in the same suburb even, it would be easier to make time for each other. In my defence, Carseldine is a pretty big suburb and work is busy. So it will be nice to see the brunette worry wort. Maybe the break will do her good. She wasn't bringing a plus one, preferring some 'me time' so she was going to share with Georgia and save Mum the cost of one room.

Liz, I do see fairly frequently. The re-union was mostly her idea. She was always the fixer, the negotiator. She rings us all at least monthly and fills us in on each other's lives. Herself, she's working finally. Her law degree had been a lengthy journey and this will really be the first holiday she has that doesn't involve a box full of books and a laptop.

She's bringing her long-term boyfriend, Tim. With a bit of a naughty giggle she told me, "Don't expect to see us outside of the unit too often. Life is always so fucking busy." For a tiny woman, she has always had big appetites. I've never seen anyone eat so much and her appetite for boys was legendary through high school as well. I wouldn't say promiscuous, I'd use her words, "Healthy slut."

Seriously, the editor of our year twelve yearbook was asked to change her tag line from, "It's not there to sit on." To "Use it or lose it."

And then there is the phone call I have to make now. "Sin".

Jacinta. The wildcard in our group. Our own berserker. I'm frowning as I contemplate the call. She was the first casualty to our little unit. Ironically enough, during the very schoolies week we are celebrating five years on. Something happened. We don't know what. Well, sort of we do. Clearly there is a four-year-old reminder. She got pregnant at schoolies.

But somehow, that was where she fell out of our group and things got really dumb for some reason.

"Cam honey?" Tammy asks.

"Yeah darl."

"You ok?"

"Gotta call Sin."

"Oh." She's showered and it's her turn to cook so she's unboxed a frozen pizza and thrown it in the oven with some two-dollar garlic bread. She's frowning at me thoughtfully. You couldn't pay for a roomy this lovely, I think as I watch her t-shirted lanky caramel form stalk towards me. "Hey. Sit." She indicates the couch.

"No." She laughs. "Get your phone first."

When I sit as directed on our conjointly salvaged from curbside collection day couch she smiles and nods at my lap, "Pants... I know how to put you in the right place for this. You're always more, whatever... Um, together? After a good "O". Come on, pants off."

My smile betrays me. As does my hurried struggle with my jeans. "I haven't showered Tam."

"Shush." She says kneeling between my knees and leaning in to kiss me. "I like the smell of you."

And as she does wonderful luxuriant warm and sloppy things with her tongue and my bits, I poke at the screen of my phone where it suggests 'Jacinta Morgan' and stare at the little call icon. I haven't spoken to her in two years. Even then it was awkward and like two old friends making echoes in a cave of memories. There was some space between us that didn't have a bridge and I didn't understand it. It was the same for the others too. Sin was just... Just...

"Oh, get fucked!" I grab Tam's hair and hold her still. "Sorry. Sorry. Sorry." I pant in time with my squirting convulsions. "Sheesus. How do you do that every time. Hold still. Fuck."

When I settle, I open my eyes and look at my lovely friend with my juice all on her face and through her freshly washed hair and laugh as she tries to unstick one eye. "Thanks T. God. Just..." Taking a deep breath I ask quietly and a little weakly, "Can you just snuggle a bit while I do this? Please honey?"

It's dumb asking. She's such a generous soul and slinks up on the couch next to me and lets me fall into her lap and fumble with the phone. Her fingers comb my hair and she 'shushes' me as I dial.

"Camille?" There's a sort of accusatory questioning to her tone.

"Sin."

"Hey. It's been..."

"I know right. How are you and Tony?"

"Oh, fucking teething. Jesus fucking Christ on a fucking Chinese chopper. These things don't come with refund policies you know? I haven't, oh my god, had a fucking night's sleep in, god... Cam soz love. Ranting. You. How are you? Still whatevering... Um what do you fucking do again bitch?"

"Childcare."

Her laughter is exactly as I remember. Sincere, whole body guffaws that sound a little like a water buffalo is trying to cough up a quite deranged hyena.

"Got a fucking free one here you can have if you want. The little arsehole just cries all night at the moment. It's some of his big teeth and the temps... I think he's got the flu or something with it. Oh god... a nightmare and Mum... god it's nice to hear your voice."

"And yours. Hey..."

"Spill bitch. What gives?"

"My birthday soon."

"Yeah, you'll be what now? The big two one? You were always the youngest."

"Yup. So..."

"Oh God you're annoying. Spit it out!"

"Stop interrupting," I laugh, "Mum's booked a motel at the coast for a schoolies re-union instead of a party. You in?"

"Not... Oh... Just kinda tight..."

"Accommodation and meals all included, you just have to show up and buy your own drinks. Please Sin. Say yes and it'll be the whole crew again."

"Oh god..." She's silent for a while. "I'm not sure it's... I mean the first time was such a fuck up. You know."

"Hey. It wasn't that bad. We all got a bit wild. That's what it was all about. Blowing off some steam, you know."

"Yeah... I'll think about it Cam, that's the best I can do right now. There's a lot to think about. For me anyway. Who else is coming?"

"Georgie's coming but her partner can't get time off. Sandy's in. She's arguing with Brad so her and Georgie can share a room. Liz is bringing Tim-"

"Haha, you won't see much of her outside her room. Are you bringing anyone?"

"My roomy Tammy."

"Still not found Mr or Mrs Right?"

"Found a few right now's but they haven't made the cut. You?"

"Dated a bit. Don't have the fucking time for it though. This being a Mum gig is fucking hard enough without the study as well. Men are just... too much work."

"So take a break. Uni's out soon. It's booked from the eleventh of December, that's Friday book in and birthday dinner in the restaurant, check out Sunday the twentieth. So, nine nights of less stress honey. Bring the little bloke, it'll be nice to meet him. Mum's coming so, you'll have a built-in baby-sitter too."

"Bri, um... Is Brian coming." Her voice is low and nervous.

"Oh. Not sure yet, Sin. He's trying to get leave but it's difficult this time of year. I hope he is. It wouldn't be the same without the BFG." And there it is. The elephant, or at least the Big Friendly Giant in the room; my older brother Brian.

"Hmm... I promise I'll think. Can I call you in a few days?"

"Sure honey. I'll text you the details. I'm really hoping you can make it. Would be so nice to catch up properly."

"Bye Cam."

"Bye Sin"

..................................

TAMARA MARIA SOSA

I met Cam when she started at the day-care centre. She was a flurry of happy and love. She had so much empathy for everyone that it shamed me. Her Auslan skills were something crazy. She could even pick up on the littlies own made up signs and they really got a kick out of how quickly she mixed them into her own version of standard sign language. There were a few kind-of 'non-standard' ones that she felt important to convey as well.

She's showing me one of them right now.

"Tam honey, get fucked." She shows me her middle finger. "He's my fucking brother okay? Out of bounds. Off limits. The BFG. There are rules, bitch."

"But fuck!.." I sign a thing that has no basis in any recognised official deaf persons hand language but looks like, 'mind exploding'. This guy that steps out of the cab is fucking enormous. Imagine The Rock had a big brother, okay? He's, oh god, maybe six five? Maybe even a hundred and god I don't even know kilos... Just huge. Like a mad scientist started growing muscles in a lab and put them on a really hot guy. Imagine Thor. You know the Chris Hemsworth version but bigger. And fuck me sideways he's so...

"Tammy honey..."

"Yes Cam?"

"No..." She frowns at me. "Hell no."

"But fuck!" I gush. Both from my dumb face and my undies. "Fucking..."

"The BFG." She touches my cheek. "Relax and..."

"Get fucked. Oh my fucking god." I blurt and then turn bright fucking red. "Oh god. Poor man. What?.. What Cam?"

"Car accident." She tells me matter of factly.

In the instant he turned around to find his little sister's eyes I saw two things. The first was love. The kind of love I wish I could see in anyone's fucking face when their eyes first found mine. The kind of love you read about in trashy novels and see in dumb chick flicks. The second was his hollow sewn shut eye socket and the scar that ran down his face from the damaged eye to the corner of his lip. It was like Jeckle and Hyde.

One profile was pants wetting movie star. The other was horror.

"Now just settle Tammy honey. He doesn't like attention. Just be you, I'll translate."

"Sure." I feel like I might cry. I don't even understand how or why but it's like someone's taken a temple and smeared monkey shit on it.

I watch as the girls crowd him and cry and giggle and hang off him. He has Liz up on his shoulder and Sandy around his waist in an octopus like hug. Only 'Big Red' hangs back. She's really tall and has bright red hair and kind of scares me a bit. He nods at her and the good side of his face looks sad. She smiles and nods. Sin's weird and swears too much.

Her son Tony walks bravely over and stands at the giant's feet and looks him up and down.

"Hello little man." Cam says beside me translating the words that the man giant signs to the boy. I can read his signs myself. They are slow and deliberate, but clear and I'm so glad for her translation as emotion and the moment robs me of comprehension.

"Do you want a ride?" Cam and his Mum translate for me and the little boy, respectively. He points at his shoulders and the little guys eyes light up.

"Mum says yes?" Cam says. The signs are almost correct Auslan but idiosyncratic, so her translation is helpful. He looks at Big Red. She sucks in a deep breath and nods slowly and I laugh at the joy on the boy's face as he hoists him up on his massive shoulders. Part of me, 'no mystery which', wants a ride too.

I've been here for three days now. Friday night we had her birthday dinner. Saturday, we lounged by the pool and felt sorry for ourselves for how much we overdid it. Okay, I also put in some groundwork with a few 'available's' that were hanging around the swim up bar. Sunday, we found the beach and now we're all nursing some differing degrees of sunburn and, her friend Liz has emerged looking a little bow-legged, to join us.

It's like a reality show reveal or something. The girls have just gushed since they found out he got his time-off. Well except for Big Red who kind of looked stern and kept busy with Little Red as I've started calling him in my head. He's a precocious little boy and I marvel at how well he signs to the others. 'Sin', as they all call her has taught him well, albeit the abridged, kind of slang version they all use. But that happens when a small community learns to communicate effectively with an individual instead of generally. I'm really hoping I can come across not too rude or formal. Sign language has its social grace as well.

Cam's nerves seem to almost overwhelm her, so I snake an arm around her shoulder and kiss her on the cheek.

"Shh. Let it unravel." I don't know where I found the wisdom, but I've always found that letting things work themselves out works better than trying to micro-manage.

"Hey kids?" Her Mum says beside us. "You two want more margarita's?"

"Please Mum." Cam says.

Her Mum winks at her and asks, "You guys serious?"

"What the fuck Mum?" Cam explodes and blushes crimson.

"Well either you're you special friends or there was an exorcism going on next door last night." She mike drops and struts off to the bar.

"Oh, my fucking god." Cam is cute when she's like this. It's the same face she makes when I fuck with her g-spot and make her cum hard. Surprise, embarrassment and relief all in one.

"I think your Mum knows, wanker." I tell her.

Then she's scooped up by the BFG. 'Bloody Fantastic Guy.' I tell myself and watch as he princess kisses her all over her face and head. She giggles and god I wish I had someone, some family, some... Some history. Being an orphaned refugee has its little potholes. I'm aware of my tears. I know my heart beats strangely and my skin crawls for contact like it always did. Hugs are very rare for little lost people.

"Brian." He places his crying sister on the ground and she clings to his side. He spells it for me, not really knowing if I know sign language. His lips move with the letters, but no noise comes out and then he stops. He studies my eyes and sees the tears welling. Putting little red down gently he reaches for my shoulder and pulls me in.

And that was all.

Hours later, I'm sitting on his lap listening to all their stories. His big arm is around me and I'm warm and his sister is smiling at me and they all know. They all know that I know their secret. They all know I love him too.

As much as I hate to leave this newfound refuge on the man mountain's legs, nature calls and I excuse myself, laughing at how quickly the prime real estate is occupied. Georgia, the bossy blonde one with the big boobs climbs aboard and snuggles in. Only Liz and Sin sit apart. They are sunning by the pool. I sign, "Toilet," then "You, drinks?" to Cam and I am met with a nod so I wander off trying to make sense of the big guys welcome.

It was like he saw inside me and knew me lost and apart and just drew me in to his group. I have an Aunt and an Uncle that aren't really my relatives but are where I was placed at fourteen when my citizenship was approved. Even they don't make me feel like part of something as much as he did in a single moment. I understand better now how Cam and I became friends so quickly. She has some of those qualities too and now I know where she learned them.

The cute guy I was tuning up yesterday, the one with the big teeth and big smile, says hello as I order drinks at the bar.

"Hey, Tamara isn't it. The hot Venezuelan."

"Half Venezuelan, Phillip." I correct him and return his smile.

"Hmm." He makes a show of looking me up and down, "Top half or bottom half?"

"Haha. Bottom half is Brazilian." I wink.

"Have a drink with me?"

"Um..." Yesterday I would have had several then tried to take him back to my room. Today, I am drawn back poolside. Today I feel like I belong with Cam's friends. Mostly I want to be around Brian who makes me feel so damned included and good. "Thanks, but got a family thing on today."

"Rain check then love."

"You got it." I take my drinks and know he's watching me swing my hips as I walk away.

I park myself on Cam's lap as seats are short on supply and my favourite seat is now occupied by a grinning Liz who is quizzing Brian on his love life. I listen to their good-natured bickering and watch some of Brian's reply's. His question for Cam makes me laugh; she's been flirting with the business manager at work. He's married and she has it bad for him. I pull piss out of her all the time over it.

"You seeing anyone?" He signs.

"Gnhh!" She groans.

"What." His 'palms up' says.

"Oh. Just have you ever like been crushing super hard on someone and you can't do anything about it? Like you just know it's not... God... it's hopeless."

Her reply is typical enigmatic Cam but what interests me is Brian's sad face and his far-off look as he stares across at Big Red. He's nodding slowly then turns back to Cam and signs, "Fuck yes. Been there."

He bumps an almost sleeping Liz and she wriggles down off him to let him up. "Drinks." He signs and walks off to the bar.