The Beach Trip Pt. 03: Love and Hurt

"Hey," I said.

"Hey there," she pleasantly touched my arm, "come sit."

Her eyes dazzled me with attentiveness.

"Everything okay?" She brushed my hair.

"Yeah I'm just thinking about all of this." I said.

"Tell me, what's on your mind?"

Her brown eyes watched me intently.

"I just think... you know all this crazy sex is... amazing and mind blowing. It's exhilarating unlike anything I've ever known. But after you've done so much, when the clouds clear away and your mind finally reaches clarity, you discover that all you truly want... is to be loved."

Lana gently ruffled my long brown hair with an endearing smile.

"You are loved," She said, "in so many different ways."

"You mean that?"

"Of course hun. What's the matter?"

I swallowed and my eyes trailed off before looking nervously upwards.

"I just, I don't know. What does this make us?"

"What do you mean?" She questioned.

"Well I just really, really like her and I wanted to make sure that you two aren't... you know, still in love or dating."

"I mean we never truly broke up to be honest. So things are a bit different now."

"What do you mean they're different?"

"Like, we can still see each other and spend time every so often."

"So you two are back together then?" I asked confusedly.

"Chris, why do we need to bother with labels right now? Can't we just live in the moment? Just enjoy it while we're here."

I took a deep breath and started to elaborate.

"I guess," I nodded, "but don't you think this complicates things?

"Like how?"

She put up many walls but I was burning to know.

"Like, I love her. And I really want to be with her. And with you in the picture... doesn't this affect us being family members? I've known you my whole life and we've had... small and more tame things here and there. And-"

"Chris, I want you to drop all of that. Okay?" She said sternly, "We are second cousins. We are not related. We love each other and have a different connection than most, but we're not blood related. That's it. If you don't view it in that way, of course it's going to seem weird. Especially when you have Ashley or our parents or anyone else breathing down our necks. That's the last thing we want."

Lana leaned closer to me, touching our noses together. My eyelashes naturally fluttered as she ruffled through my hair. She softly kissed me on the lips then on the forehead.

"We're bonded through distant relations. But we fuck. That's all." She nonchalantly explained, "We can do whatever we want to. Don't let what they think ruin what we have, Chris."

Her eyes looked so alluring, reflecting the sunlit town through her pupils. The blissful wind that carried our hair through the air felt so peaceful and surreal like a dream sequence.

But in a sudden turn of events, her eyes captivated me in such a gravitational way and made the dream feel like an alluring attractive nightmare.

"I know you love it. So let it happen naturally," she whispered benevolently, "that's what makes this so exhilarating. After all, what's wrong about wanting more? It's best for you to live in the moment while it lasts."

I smirked half-heartedly looking off towards the beach dunes down the street.

"Dan's coming to pick me up. You should hide."

"Hm," she huffed, "don't tell him I was here."

"You know I won't."

Lana finished the bowl and ruffled my hair on the way inside.

"Love you," she said.

"Love you too," I replied.

The door opened and I heard Kiara's voice.

"Where is he?"

"He's right here," Lana pointed.

Kiara walked out in a white T-shirt with red letters saying Lifeguard and short red athletic shorts. My heart fluttered every time I saw her. She smiled endearingly, placed her hands on my cheeks, then kissed me. We held it for several seconds before breaking off romantically.

"I don't want to leave." I whispered.

"I know," she reassured as her arms held me deep in the warm safety of her embrace, "You're only leaving me physically though."

"I want to be with you forever." I said.

We embraced as the calming sea breeze soothed our souls, locked together in a rush to savor our final moments before we separated again. The sound of rustling leaves from the sidewalk trees took over, putting us back into the surreal dream. The details of her lovely rosy face with freckled cheeks became a mental photograph in my mind.

A car slowed on the street and suddenly we heard someone shout.

"Aye, get a room you two!" Dan called out from the driver's seat.

Kiara laughed at that comment.

"Sorry, he's not leaving." She clutched me tightly, keeping my cheek pressed into her, "your cousin is staying with me! Forever!"

"You can go! I'll just be here!" I called out.

"I'm not coming home to your mom empty handed, Chris. You know that."

"Well then take me with you!" Kiara joked half-heartedly.

I giggled endearingly, looking at her pretty blue eyes that returned the favor. The undying feeling of our departure loomed over us. We joined in a romantic kiss and the world fell away once again. It was just us. We held hands as I slowly walked towards the car. Our fingers clasped tightly before forcibly brushing off. As I sat down into the car I could see tears well up in her eyes.

"You really love her, don't you?" Dan asked.

I nodded, quietly sniffling as Kiara's longing lovely blues followed me all the way down the block. Her beautiful red hair flowed in the wind as she became smaller and smaller until we turned the block.

"Awwwwww," Darryl consoled.

"Ohhh is he crying?"

"Shut up." I weakly choked up, wiping a tear away.

"Is he really? Man, you two really are something else," Dan said, "telling you, he loves that girl."

***

Lana and Kiara sat outside the backyard smoking a bowl. The day became overcast quickly, setting a gray mood by the pool.

"Can we talk for a second?" Kiara asked.

"Sure hun, what's on your mind?" Lana said.

"I just wanted to talk to you about Chris and I. Listen, what we had was great and fun and exhilarating. But all of that happened before him and I got serious. I like him. I really really like him. And I want to take us a step further. I would like for him and I to be exclusive." She said sincerely.

"You can't be exclusive with him, his mother doesn't approve of you."

"I know she doesn't, but I want to work it out with him. I want to show her I am so much more than that. That I would do anything for him."

"Let me tell you, that's quite a handful. Chris's mom is hard. She doesn't let him do anything, she treats him like her little baby. She also doesn't budge on anything. One time she yelled at my mom for letting him have a glass of wine. And another time she wouldn't let Ashley borrow her car because she had been in an accident that wasn't even her fault."

"Moms are typically like that, they never want to give away their only child. She may be stubborn and headstrong but I know I can win her over if she could see how happy I would make him."

"Good luck with that," Lana said, "she doesn't even want you talking to him."

"Well he is old enough to make his own decisions," Kiara said as she sipped from her tea, "I love him. And if he loves me he should be able to decide for himself."

"You two are so cute, you know that?" Lana said with an enamoring smile, "just never forget who's always here for you. For now, just live in the moment while we're here. How are you and Heather?"

"Not talking. We're kind of not together right now."

"I did not know that," Lana said, "Maybe she's not the one."

"Maybe."

"You don't need her. She never treated you the way that I do."

Lana leaned in, kissing Kiara on the mouth before she reluctantly turned away.

"Lana..."

"What?"

Kiara held her temples and gently rubbed them.

"I'm sorry, a lot of things are just complicated right now."

Lana looked on with concern.

"I know they are. We all got caught up in a trio and here we are again, one year later. But now we're alone and we don't have to worry anymore. Just the three of us."

Lana leaned forward and kissed the semi-reluctant redhead.

"Enjoy the beautiful moments while they last."

***

Ashley got into the car to drive to the post office. She checked the GPS to input the destination and the history appeared below.

145 Whitetail Ct.

"I don't remember going to Chris's house this weekend after I dropped him off..." She whispered to herself.

Her parents hadn't left the entire weekend. And if they did, they took the Kia SUV. They never touched the Subaru.

Ashley's body froze. The inevitable fact that she couldn't stomach arose within like scorching lava in a volcano. She began to heat up and her nostrils flared.

***

The wind picked up quite a bit as the clouds loomed over. The weather looked to rain soon. Lana sat outside smoking a bowl. Her phone buzzed on the glass table. She picked it up and swiped the answer button.

"Hello?"

"Lana."

It was Ashley's voice.

"Yes?"

"Where are you right now?"

"At a friend's house. Why?"

"I started up the Subie. And when I checked the address for the Post Office, I found something that seemed a little off."

"Uhh, is it the check engine light again??" Lana asked, more annoyed this time.

"Nope. No check engine light. Something else."

Lana's eyebrows furled at the awaited answer.

"Why does the GPS say you went to Chris's house an hour after I had dropped him off?"

As expected, Ashley's voice was stern and sharp and Lana began to simmer. She was caught off guard.

"Ashley are you fucking kidding me?" Lana swore.

"No! No, I'm not kidding, you-"

"You're really spying on me through the car GPS? Get fucking real. We talked about this."

"Lana, you know what this looks like. You know you're not supposed to visit him in private."

"Ashley, seriously. Get a fucking life. You make me so sick with your surveillance bullshit. First my phone, now this? You didn't even ask anyone else if they've used the car! I don't care what that thing says!"

"No one has used it besides you and I, Lana. Don't try to hide it, this looks really suspicious."

"Suspicious because of what? That I took the Subaru to Chris's house? You are so obsessed with this that it's gotten to your head. He's grown up now, you don't have to hover over him anymore."

"Lana, I just want to know why you went there."

Lana huffed angrily. She knew exactly what to say to get into Ashley's head and that's precisely what she aimed for.

"Yeah. I went to his house. You can probably guess what happened after that. Is that what you want to hear? No, I'm not discussing it. I'm hanging up. Bye."

"Lana, I swear to God. If you hang up this phone-"

Lana swiftly hard pressed the red hangup symbol and slammed the phone face down.

"Fucking bitch." She said under her breath.

Ashley furiously switched the ignition and drove off.

***

I laid on the couch unable to shake the smile from my face. The rush of a weekend played over and over in my mind like a movie. Everything I had felt besides the outside pressures rendered my mind on a whole different plane.

*Knock knock knock knock*

I shot up looking at the shadow behind the door window. I slowly walked to the door and saw strands of dark curly hair behind the window.

I opened the door and suddenly Ashley bursted through.

"Ash?"

She hung up her hoodie and turned to me with her arms crossed.

"Chris."

"What?" I asked, taken aback.

She closed her eyes and deeply inhaled before she spoke.

"I need you to come forward and tell me the truth."

My heart raced, my stomach knotted and I trembled internally. I'm an absolutely terrible liar, especially when caught off guard. Best course was to let her ask questions.

"About what?"

"I need to confide that you will tell me the truth. If what I think happened happened this weekend, I am going to put a stop to this no matter what it takes. Even if I need to tell your mother."

"Ashley, why would you do something like that?!" I panicked, "What do you think happened? I went to the beach and saw Kiara. Why would you tell her that?!"

"I know you went up to see Kiara," She said, "and that's not necessarily what concerns me. Something else happened this weekend that you know is strictly forbidden."

I could barely even stand, let alone hide my nervous body language, seeping with alarm and guilt. Ashley raised her hands to nail her point in.

"Chris. I know what happened this weekend. I'm only going to give you one chance to come clean and I am imploring you to tell me the honest to God truth. Did you or did you not see Lana this weekend?"

The guilt broke through and I began to cry again. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I lost it.

"Don't try to lie your way out of this. I know what happened and I want to hear it from you."

"Please don't tell her! That is the worst thing you can do. You have no idea what you're doing." I pleaded, "She's going to revoke my college tuition and kick me out of the house! You know how she is!"

"Chris... the only reason I am holding back from calling her right now is because I know how she will react. And I know it won't help anyone. But you continue to see her again and again after I've already discussed this with you. At this point, you have forced my hand. I'm sorry, Chris."

"Please don't!" I tugged at her arm, "We didn't know she was there! She came up to the beach without me knowing and I just... I-I never invited her up, we just saw her and..."

"What do you mean she came up to the beach?!" She sharply asked, nearly blowing her lid off.

All sounds fell silent. Ashley's eyes intensified and burned like a star. My heart thumped in bursts. Her tone made me feel like I were about to speak my last words. My heart sank into the pit of my stomach.

"I-I don't know what happened, I never invited her up, she just came and..."

"I was talking about when she came over to your house after I dropped you off from college... You mean to tell me she drove up to Oceanic Beach to meet up with you guys?"

She didn't know... oh my God she didn't know about the beach... why Chris? How could you be so fucking stupid?!

"No! No I mean... we saw her there but... we didn't-"

"Chris... You really... I have no words for you right now. Rarely am I ever speechless but if what I think happened happened this weekend... I really don't know what to say or where to begin with you... I need to leave right now."

Ashley stepped back towards the door, clearly trying to hold it together.

"Ashley, please don't!"

Ashley grabbed my shoulders and shook me.

"Chris why?! Why do you keep doing this? What is the matter with you?! Why can't you see how inappropriate this is?!" She said sharply like a piercing knife through my chest.

"I just... I don't know I..."

Ashley's eyes pierced through me once again.

"Chris... it was already hard for me to accept that you did what you did with her at an early age. But I am not going to condone you FUCKING A FAMILY MEMBER!"

I felt powerless and all I could do was cry.

"No matter how much you try to justify it, what you are doing is FUCKED UP," She screamed, "and now I'm learning that you did it not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES CHRIS! THREE, FUCKING, TIMES!"

Ashley turned around, hands on her hips with her back straight. A few deep breaths followed by a tense silence and she turned back to me.

"God she corrupted you... I can't believe she did this to you."

I hugged her tightly and cried into her shoulder.

"Please... don't tell her... I don't know what I need to do to convince you but if you tell her it's going to be the end of my life... you know how harsh she is... please don't tell her... I'll break things off with Lana, I'll block her phone number anything you want..."

"Chris... I want to believe you. I really wish I could believe you. But you have proven me wrong again and again. There is nothing preventing you from seeing her. I am not going to tell your mother but I am leaving. I have a lot to think about."

Her grip formed into a hug and she held me tight against her chest.

"Please don't tell her..." I repeated, "I'll stop."

"I'm not going to tell her."

"You swear?"

"Yes, Chris. Please let me go now. I'm sorry I screamed at you the way I did. I love you, but I need to leave now."

Ashley left in dismay while I leaned my back against the bannister, slowly sliding onto the floor as the pressurizing guilt sunk in. I felt disgusted and regret for everything including allowing Lana to tempt me.

***

Kiara laid on her bed contemplating the rush of a weekend they had. Her feelings for Chris conflicted with the love triangle they had formed, inadvertently reigniting her own fire with Lana. A mix of emotions rushed in and out, the most prominent being jealousy and confusion but her love for Chris was certain.

She picked up her phone to check the last messages from Chris.

I love you and miss you ♡

I had such an amazing weekend with you ♡

Her heart fluttered gracefully in her chest and she blushed. A high that felt fresh as the arrival of spring breeze. She began typing her reply.

Me too love ♡ you are so

An Incoming Call appeared before she could send the message. She pressed answer.

"Hello?"

Kiara's aqua blue eyes faced the ground, fixated on the other voice. She stood completely still to ensure she heard everything correctly.

"Hi, Kiara. It's Ashley." Ashley said, irritably moving her neck.

"Oh, hi." She said, sensing the uneasiness.

"I need to talk to you. I understand Chris came up to see you this weekend."

"Ashley, I don't want to get in between this. Please." Kiara interrupted.

"You're already a part of it. I know everything."

"I'm... excuse me what?" She asked, offended and guarded.

"Letting Lana get involved with you two again? Why are you encouraging and enabling this to happen?! You should be ashamed of yourself!" Ashley snapped.

"Ashley, they both decided that themselves. I don't know why you're trying to make me the culprit of all this. This is between them."

"Because you're enabling it, Kiara. That's the issue. You let Lana come up to the beach with you two! Why can't you see how inappropriate that is?! You are corrupting Chris's mind and twisting his head with inappropriate behavior."

"Twisting his head?! Excuse me, I am not corrupting him! Why do you feel the need to protect him so much? He can choose to make his own decisions."

Ashley took a deep breath, then stated in a cold calculated demeanor.

"It's very clear you guys aren't able to make your own decisions."

"For God's sake, Ashley," She said, slightly more frustrated than normal as she usually remained calm, "please stop pretending like we both don't know the truth. I love him, more than anything. And I'm willing to do anything for us."

"You love him? Oh don't paint this picture as an act of love, Kiara. You and Lana groomed him. You both took advantage of him. You used his feelings for you to sleep with him. Manipulating someone's emotions to get them to have sex with you, especially at a young age when they're the most naive and vulnerable? That's called using someone, Kiara!"

"Ashley, you take that back right this instant! I did not use Chris! I love that boy. I would never do such a thing and you know that! I would never have done any of that with someone I didn't love. We met at the beach, we had a spark and we acted on it. That is on both of us and you can't fault us for that."

"I would have been more accepting about this if it had been between you two, even though you are much older than him. In fact I encouraged him to talk to you again, as long as he promised not to do anything with Lana anymore. And you three got together once again and violated that promise. I can't accept that. You are not good for him. You two are poisoning his mind and corrupting him. And if you truly loved him, you never would have done such a thing."