The Beach Trip Pt. 03: Love and Hurt

Vehemence brewed within Kiara's body and she toughened up, determined to defend her truth.

"You know why you decided to come after that? Because you're insecure. You don't need to attack my relationship just because you're trying to protect this image of Chris being this innocent kid that we just 'corrupted.' Chris was consensual to everything we did and never did he once tell us to stop. And I made sure of that. Let it go, Ashley."

A noticeable silence symbolized the chink in Ashley armor.

"You know what? I'm not going to let it go. I can't let it go. I'm going to talk to his mother." Ashley threatened.

Kiara's stoic stature slowly faded. She froze dead in her tracks and her eyes widened as the small voice in her receiver quietly hissed.

"Are you kidding me?! Ashley, that is such a low blow! Why would you go to his mother?!"

"I can't have our family ranting and raving about this a second time. It'll cause another rift and I'm going to put a stop to it before it even starts."

"Please... please don't tell her."

"Well why shouldn't I?"

Tears breached through Kiara's eyelids. An image of Chris faded into obscurity, leaving just a silhouette. It pained her to say this but she knew she had to.

"I'll talk to him. I'll handle it... Please just leave it to me."

"Kiara, if you three continue to do this, I'll-"

"Ashley... I'll do it."

"Okay..."

Kiara hung up and tossed her phone aside, holding her chest as she broke down on the couch. No matter how much she hyperventilated, it couldn't stop the pain in her heart.

The decision she had to make came with a heavy weight but she knew it had to be done. It would tear him apart. She would have to bear witness to his reaction. However the only way for things to work out in the end was to follow through.

***

I laid on the couch, staring at the dimly lit ceiling from the outside rainy weather. My phone buzzed and I finally got a reply from Kiara.

Kiara: Hey

Me: Hi love :) <3

Kiara: I wanted to see you and talk with you for a bit.

Me: Okay :) I'll be right over

Me: I miss you!! <3

I hopped into the car and drove almost like clockwork, heading to her place. I felt excited just seeing her house come into view with the porch lights illuminating the front door. I parked and skipped up the stairs then knocked on the door.

"Hi, Chris," she said as I ran in and hugged her tightly.

"Hi babe. I missed you so much." I said.

She cutely huffed into my ear before we slowly trailed off. I closed my eyes and kissed her warm lips endearingly.

We sat onto the couch and plopped down. I crossed my legs and leaned forward toward her.

"So what did you wanna talk about?" I asked.

"Chris. Listen, you're so sweet, genuine and trustworthy," she said, brushing my cheek.

Somehow she didn't seem nearly as excited as I.

"I trust you and I truly feel there's a place for you in my heart." She continued.

"I trust you too. You're always in mine too, I'm just so happy everytime I'm around you. You make me feel alive and confident in myself. I love coming to see you." I said, beaming brightly at her as I grabbed her hand.

Kiara's eyelashes faced the ground. I felt immediately concerned for her and delicately rubbed her hand with my thumb.

"What's wrong babe?" I asked.

"Chris... you know I care for you, right?" She asked.

"Of course I do. I care for you too. More than anything."

A teardrop fell onto the cushion, then another. And another...

"This is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done." She sobbed.

Immediately the livelihood in my heart began to slip, throwing me into panic.

"What is?" I asked, alarmingly.

She slowly looked up at me, her oceanic eyes full of teardrops that reflected like a prism.

"Chris, I think we need to stop seeing each other for a while..."

Her words slashed through my heart like butter, twisting my stomach into knots. All sounds fell completely silent as my ears deafened. I felt only the vibrations of my wounded beating heart.

"Kiara, what do you mean?" I said, in complete disbelief.

"Chris, I care so deeply for you. You're one of the kindest, most genuine souls I have ever met and I'm beyond grateful to know you. But I really think you should date around and go see what's out there. You're 19, you're very young in life and you deserve to explore."

"No, but I don't want to explore. I know what I want." I stated, still confident in my answer, "I want you."

"Chris... there's some things you need to understand at this point in your life. You are young and you deserve to see the world. All you know is Lana and I. And you don't know it now, but you must go out and experience things. It's better for you that way."

My vision began to blur. I closed my eyes, allowing the tears to breach past and roll down my cheeks.

"I want to go out and experience things with you! Why can't I do that? Why can't we just be together and explore those things and make more great memories together. That's what I want!"

"Chris, I knew this was going to be hard for you..."

"Don't you want that?!"

"Believe me, it's hard for me too."

"No, no no no no why are you saying this?! You said you loved me! You can't just tell me you love me and then say we can't see each other anymore! Please! If it's something I did, please give me another chance! I'm sorry! I want to be with you! You know that!"

I broke through in tears, holding on for dear life like a floating plank in a seastorm.

"Chris, you didn't do anything wrong," she said, sympathetically weeping along with me, "don't ever feel like you did anything wrong or that something is wrong with you because that's not true. We just need time apart to figure things out-"

"So that's it? You're just going to leave and date around, find the love of your life and let them take you away from me?!"

"Nobody is taking me away from you, Chris. Please understand that-"

"Oh my God, Kiara! I can't believe you! You're tearing my heart out straight from my chest! You took my virginity and made me fall in love with you and now you're going to leave me just like that?! How could you be so selfish?!"

"Chris, I am not leaving you, I am doing what is best for us and our relationship. You-"

"What's best for us is to be together forever! How can you not see that?! If you're not in this to be together forever then why even try at all?! You don't love me anymore?!"

"I do love you!! Everyday and it makes me so sick to even say this."

"We can still have a life together! We can still see each other, I don't care what my mother thinks. We can have all those days at the beach where we ate ice cream on the boardwalk and walked along the sand and... and I can get a job after college and we can move in together and get marr-"

"Chris..." She shook her head as tears fell like raindrops.

"Please, Kiara. Don't take this away from us..."

"I'm not taking this away, Chris," she said, upset and distressed.

"Then why are you doing this?! We fell in love and now you're throwing me away like a piece of trash! I hate you so much! I hate you!!!"

I stood up off the couch and stormed out the door, walking through the pouring rain as it soaked my clothes. I walked to the car, touched the door handle, then immediately weakened. My legs gave out and I couldn't stand anymore. I fell to the ground with my back against the door, crying and wailing underneath the sounds of heavy rain splashing against the street. The cool gray gloomy overcast of dusk overtook the scenery.

I cried in agony, wishing the rain would overtake me with hypothermia. I wanted to leave my body and never return.

"Chris, come inside! It's cold out!" A voice called next to me.

I sat there and cried weakly.

"Chris! Up! You are going to catch a cold!" A hand pulled me up by the hood.

I stood up and looked into Kathleen's eyes. She wore a hoodie holding an umbrella. Her eyes gleamed at me, concerned and humble.

I stuffed my face into her shoulder, squeezing her clothes as I sobbed, crying from the devastating pain in my heart. She embraced me like a mother with her child, giving me a few more moments to regain my strength.

"Come inside, Chris. I just want to talk for you for a little while if that's okay."

I nodded, walking back to the house. She helped me dry off, patting my hair with the towel.

"She broke up with me." I wailed into her arms.

"Hey, hey, listen, shhhhh, Chris, listen to me."

She turned me to face her.

"Chris, you know I love and care deeply for your family. And I also care deeply for you as well. For right now, the situation with your mother and Kiara isn't good for you. Give it some time, and everything will work out in the end. Trust me, if there's anyone who has been through enough to learn that, it's me."

"What am I going to do?" I asked naively behind broken hearted tears.

"Parenting is tough, Christopher. It's hard to say what you should or shouldn't do. But one thing you should always do is be open, honest and communicative. That's the most important."

"Do you think Kiara and I could ever be together?"

Kathleen took a deep breath before continuing to spout words of wisdom.

"It will all work out in the end, Chris. No matter what happens, it always does."

My eyes closed and more tears breached through.

"But I love her. I want us. That's all I want."

"Chris," Kathleen gently put her hand atop mine, "I've seen the way you two act with each other. You're a good person and she knows that. Things will get better for you but you need to remain strong through your tough times."

Her thumb gently rubbed my hand as I blinked the blur away. We got up and I hugged her tightly.

"I know you can do it." She assured me.

"Thank you," I said, gripping her tighter as my heart began to stabilize.

I left and attempted to drive home, then pulled over as the tears blurred my vision. I sat in the seat and cried as the rain showered the car. My heart hurt.

I prayed to anyone that would listen that Kiara and I could end up together if life permits it. However I also prayed that I could get through this horrible heartbreak. It wasn't fair, the weight was heavy and incredibly difficult. Having her taken away from me for the second time crushed me more than anything.

Insecurity set in and I felt alone. I was broken. Part of me knew I could grow but with the pain so present in my chest, it seemed so far fetched.

To be continued...