All Comments on 'The Birds and the Bees Pt. 03'

I think you need to finish the story.

Who the fuck is he talking to? Why would she fuck his dad?

Seriously, this wasn’t worth the effort to read.

What crap give it up you can’t write.

"the better question is": What in hell was this? Stupid to the bone! Reading this was a complete waste of time...

Was there a reason why you wrote this?

Is this supposed to be funny? Idk felt like a farce

I agree with Whackdoodle and I personally didn't bother reading past the first few sentences. I skipped past part 2 because that was completely incoherent and thought I would read this to see if I could make any sense? The answer is no, or I could not be bothered to try after not being able to tell who was saying what after reading for about a minute. Some advice, let the reader know who is talking, it helps when you are telling a story.

Cuck needs to end daddy.

Dude, I hate to say this because I do not enjoy giving negative criticisms... but your style of writing is not good. You have no scene, you have no body language or tone to convey character emotions, you have no context, you randomly introduce characters we know nothing about and care nothing for, and there is no way to know what character is speaking. If this was a playwright, maybe your writing style could work, but playwrights do not make for good readings.

If you can't figure out those things, talk to someone about their opinions on how to better convey your story. And get an editor as well.