All Comments on 'The Fall of Eva'

Loved your first story looking forward to maybe the second chapter? 5 stars

Excellent story, well written and seriously horny. Looking forward to the next one!

Welcome to Lit, CandySlut. You've shared a good first story that I encourage you to continue. You need to avoid mixing verb tenses in your sentences. Best practice is to write either in present tense ('He hesitates...') or past ('He hesitated...'). Which you choose doesn't matter, but it is important to be consistent.