The Justice League

I was a mess back in the office trying to collect my stuff up, shutting my bag, then opening it again to put in a forgotten file, then trapping it in the lock.

"Shit."

My pen went flying as I accidentally swept it off the desk, leaving me rummaging around under my chair to retrieve it.

"Everything alright Emma?" Melanie asked.

"I'm fine."

She didn't look convinced.

I saw Sarah watching me with the intensity of a hawk hunting it's prey. It was as if she was looking into my soul seeking out each and every sin.

"If you want to talk about anything..." Melanie pressed as I closed my bag for the last time.

"We could go for that drink we said about."

"I said I'm fine."

I could see Moria looking at me as well. She had a look of disdain that only heightened my anxiety.

I headed for the door intent on going home.

"Not nice when you're summoned to the office is it." Sarah muttered as I passed.

I stopped dead, just staring at the back of her head as she straightened her Com.

"What?"

Sarah took a call and I glanced around at the others.

Melanie looked quickly away when my eyes fell on her. Did they know? I turned and hurried out. Not wanting to be there any longer.

As I hurried down the stairs Sarah's words played over in my head again and I noticed something new. I stopped at the bottom of the well just short of Reception and thought for a moment. I'd noticed a different intonement in her voice this time.

Pity.

I was in tears by the time I drove out of the carpark.

TWELVE

My flat was very small with just the one bedroom and a tiny kitchen. But it did have one thing that was large. The bath. And there was nothing I enjoyed better than laying outstretched with the water lapping around my chin.

Usually I took showers for convenience, but when I needed to think a bath was my preferred escape. A place to meditate hugged in the embrace of a crystalline scented fluid. Even the sound of its movements were calming, the splash of tiny ripples as I moved or the trickle of water sheeting away when I raised an arm or leg.

Tonight I'd filled it as high as I dare and sunk down into it, enjoying the warmth. Scented candles on the side filled the room with an aroma that floated on the steam. The fragrance had been pivotal in lightening my mood and was now igniting old memories of times I'd shared the tub with Liam.

We'd bathed together lots of times, washing one another or just sitting together in the comfort of warm water and subdued candle light. Only once had we attempted sex. I knew other people managed it but we'd just learnt quickly that mopping a small flood dampened libido as much as it did mats and towels. After that we'd stuck to bathing and taking our more amorous activities to another room.

I missed Liam. With that thought fingers slipped between my thighs to seek out my warm tight place. I closed my eyes and thought of his face. That first time he'd kissed me. The very first time I'd let his fingers explore where mine did now. I'd giggled like a school girl. Nervous, excited, embarrassed. A mixture of emotions but so full of want. I'd cum, shuddering, almost as soon as he'd pushed his fingers in.

That was the first time I'd seen a cock. Liam had been less reticent than me, happily pulling it out when I'd jokingly asked. I'd been mesmerised. And slightly scared when he'd took my hand and wrapped my fingers around it.

"Can I?" I'd asked.

"If you don't I'll have to."

I gasped in steamy air as my pussy responded to the memory. My fingers probed at my silky entrance, feeling the slickness of the viscous lubricating juice that refused to fully mix with the water.

"Uhh."

It was the heat of a cock that struck me most. I don't know why it should have. My own sex was just as warm. But somehow I'd expected... well... I don't know what really. Seeing Liam squirm had been funny. His face contorting as his legs stretched out so rigid. My arm ached quickly from the unusual vigorous movement and I was sniggering when his load had fired skyward before splattering back.

"Shit. It's on the bedsheets. My mum'll see it." I panicked jumping up.

"Don't worry." He laughed.

Then in horror.

"And my hand.

Yuk."

I'd hunted around for a tissue, disgusted at the sticky mess covering my fingers.

"Ew."

Liam had laughed so much.

I was rubbing my bean below the water, faster and faster. Each memory making my fire burn more fiercely. For the first time in a while I thought I might climax at my own volition.

Of course I'd quickly become used to cum. Happy with it coating my fingers as I played with his cock. Savouring it as a plaything when Liam came on my tits or face. I'd rub it into my skin, or scoop it up and launch droplets back at a horrified Liam. I'd laugh at his reticence to touch his own junk while I'd lick it from my fingers as readily as I'd taste my own juice.

"Uhh."

God I was close. I could hear my own heart beat and rasping breaths as my thoughts turned to...

Marks face invaded my head and the burn in my groin vanished just at the moment it should have sent me to oblivion.

"Fuck it."

I banged my head back on the tub in frustration.

I stayed away from the office again the following week, even avoiding calls to Melanie or Sarah. Email sufficed for what counted as essential or necessary.

Either I visited clients or worked from home. Anything to avoid the accusing looks or worse, Marks claim for another payment from me. I knew eventually I'd have to put out, but the longer I could delay it the better.

On the Wednesday I stayed in a hotel. It was my fucking birthday of all days and I spent it working. I didn't really matter. There was no Liam to celebrate it with. And my best friend... well. She was busy presenting her arse to said ex boyfriend. Fuck the pair of them.

Instead I was stuck away from home, but safe from Mark deciding on his own idea of a celebration with me. The very thought left me on edge and my mood drifted further downwards.

Both mum and Charlotte had tried to call me earlier. I'd ignored them both not wanting to fake excitement. I just couldn't be asked. I'd tell them I'd been busy when we eventually did speak.

"Drinking alone. Sure sign of someone on business."

I looked up to find an over friendly looking guy in his thirties. Northern by the accent. He sort of reminded me of a young Nigel Havers except for his voice. It was the hair I think.

"I know how it is." He continued cheerfully.

"The secret is to always stay in the same hotels, then you see the same faces. Even if it's only the barman.

That's Matt by the way." He said indicating the middle aged chap serving behind the bar.

"He's always here when I stay over.

Always a drink ready when he sees me.

I'm a regular. Once a month."

"Thanks." I replied.

"Is it that obvious I'm new at this?"

He invited himself to take a seat next to me and I felt a little nervous. Was he was trying to hit on me?

"A lucky guess perhaps.

You're young. And you have that lost look all new business traveller types have the first few times away from from home. Busy all day, then suddenly at a loss on how to fill your evening."

I wondered if he had ideas on how to fill my evening. Just what I needed. Another guy trying to fuck me.

"The names Rob by the way. I do sales for office stationary. It sends me all over the country.

Hm

Probably why I'm still single."

I purposefully didn't tell him my name. He didn't know it yet but he wouldn't be stopping in that chair. I was happy being 'lost'.

"What about you? What's your business."

None of yours would have been my preferred response but I remained polite.

"Plastics. Packaging."

"Big company?"

"The biggest."

"You probably have your own buyers for stationary. But here. I'll give you my card. Just in case you ever do need a quote."

Was he just trying to drum up business? I watched and waited for him to make his play still convinced he had more than stationary on his mind. He pulled his wallet out of his pocket sending a pen spiralling towards the floor.

"Lots of people into digital business cards these days. Sorry. I still use the old fashioned sort.

Here."

I took the card and looked at it. Perhaps he was just always looking for the next sale.

"Excuse me. I dropped my pen."

He bent forward, reaching down blindly to feel about. His hand brushed against my leg and I triggered.

"Don't fucking touch me."

He looked shocked.

"I only..."

"You're all the same.

Get away from me."

I pushed myself back, scraping the chair legs against the wooden floor with a jarring screech.

"What is it with you men that you think you can just expect to stick your dicks in any girl you like?"

"What?

Christ. What's wrong with you?"

People were looking. Embarrassed, his shock turned to anger.

"You're touched in the head girl."

He stood up and held his hands high, backing away.

"Seriously nuts."

I could feel myself shaking as he retreated and it wasn't until I was on my own again I calmed, running things over in my head. I knew instantly I'd over reacted. And now I could see the barman, Matt, watching me. He'd seen it. Heard me go off like a Roman candle. I fumed inside at my loss of control, knowing I looked like a demented lunatic to everyone.

"Fucking hell. I'm losing it." I muttered to myself.

I finished my drink and rushed back to the safe cocoon of my room. Perhaps he'd been hoping for a hotel hook up, or perhaps it was an innocent misunderstanding. I'd no idea. But my response had been over the top. One thing I did know. I wouldn't be taking his advice and choosing the same hotel again.

If only I could react to Mark like that instead of giving in to him like a compliant puppy trying to please a brutal owner. Screaming at a stranger wouldn't end my torment.

I wondered if I was going mad.

"Fuck it."

I raided the mini bar for vodka and decided on a shower.

The water came in powerful raindrops. Warm and comforting. Hotel ones were so much better than home. At least modest homes like mine where the shower was an electric heater and hose over the bath. Perhaps one day I'd have a house where I could have a proper cubicle.

I stood in the warming stream and fingered myself out habit but soon gave up. It just did nothing for me, instead leaving me unfulfilled with pent up need I couldn't satisfy.

"Fuck it."

I glanced down at my body. There'd been a time I'd spend time admiring myself. Immensely satisfied at my nice legs and smooth stomach that had only the slightest of rounding. My tits weren't on the scale of Kelly's but they were pert, well shaped and likely to be around the same place when I hit forty. And some unknown heritage leant a duskiness to my skin that gave me even colouring.

Now I was beginning to hate my body, wishing it was bloated and blotchy. Anything that made me less attractive to predating men.

Drying myself I lay on the bed and drowned my madness with the vodka while flicking through the TV channels. Nothing but the usual banal shite destined to drive me even deeper into madness. They had a porn channel that at one time would have held my interest. Now it was just a reminder of what I'd become. A whore. An unwilling piece of meat for Marks satisfaction. I held it for a few minutes watching a dark haired girl giving an over the top performance blow job to mister muscles. I gathered he was supposed to be her step son. What a load of unrealistic garbage. I hit the off button.

It would be another night sleep would only come with copious amounts of alcohol. When it did arrive it's be restless and broken, and I'd wake with a headache. But it was about the best I was managing these days. I downed the last of the small bottle and stared up at the ceiling wishing I was somewhere else, that I was someone else.

THIRTEEN

"What do you want?"

Just what I needed in my evening.

"To apologise." Kelly said.

I huffed and turned back into my flat leaving the door swinging. She took it as her cue to follow me in.

"I'm sorry.

You two had broken up and..."

"And what?" I span back to her with the anger written all over my face.

"You never had an argument with Stefan that didn't blow over in a few days?"

"He told me it was final.

I'm really sorry.

I wasn't trying to hurt you."

"Kelly.

You were fucking him like a week after we split. And that's when I caught you.

She just stood there colouring up for a moment.

"That was the first time. I only went round to make sure he was alright."

"Really.

But you thought to take your Anne Summers jewellery box with you didn't you."

Now she was redder still.

"Christ. I always knew he had the hots for you. I should have guessed it'd happen eventually."

I went to the kitchen and filled the kettle. To be honest I would have been happy if Kelly had just pissed off, but I offered her coffee just the same.

"It was a spur of the moment thing. There was never anything before. Honest."

"And I suppose you keep a butt plug in your bag for spur of the moment occasions."

"The thing. It was... I..."

I saved her hunting around for an excuse. I didn't want to hear it.

"Maybe you didn't do anything before. But it doesn't mean the thought wasn't there."

"Honestly. It wasn't."

"I saw his eyes on you every time we went out. I heard his comments. It didn't worry me until I saw you sat on his lap at the bar."

"That was nothing."

"So nothing that you waited until I was in the toilets and Stefan was busy at the bar kinda nothing?"

"I was drunk. I hardly remember what I did"

"That's the thing with alcohol. You say and do the things you would normally keep hidden. Then you can hide behind not being able to remember.

Well I remember everything when I'm drunk. I saw the look between you. I saw how you rushed back to your seat. And he had a hard on. I checked."

These must have been the most stirred coffees in history. I forced myself to stop.

"You even told me you wanted someone else. You just didn't tell me it was Liam you had in mind."

"Look. Emma.

We did what we did. It was just the once.

If you guys get back together you've nothing to worry about from me."

Liam had been my world. A world that currently lay it tatters. No one knew by just how much. It was clear the attraction between them had been there a while. It wouldn't go away just because we hooked up again. I could never trust them. Imagine if we married and had children. Then one day he ran off with Kelly, or some other big tits blonde. I couldn't bear that.

"We're not getting back together."

I said it with a finality that only now I accepted. I'd no idea what my future held but I felt certain it was better if no one else was involved. At least not now, and certainly not Liam.

Kelly hesitated. Her lips sort of moved but the sound was delayed like an out of sync movie."

"So... you don't mind if..."

"Oh for fuck sake Kelly."

I slammed the fridge shut and splashed the coffee as I pushed it along the worktop to her.

"Do what you want. Fuck him all you want. I don't care. At least you'll take it up the arse for him."

I don't think I'd ever seen her go so red. The silence was damning. But then there was the painful truth hiding behind my anger. I turned away for a moment not wanting her to see my own discomfort. While I was fixating on Kelly getting her backdoors smashed in I was letting the same happen to me. Not for my pleasure, or love, but for the selfish desires of a man who I'd foolishly allowed to control and humiliate me.

"I'm sorry." I said calmly turning back.

"I didn't mean that. We all have different tastes."

Mine just didn't include shoving jewellery up my arse.

"If you want to see Liam go ahead. It's fine with me.

I fucked up. Not him. Or you. Just give Stefan the courtesy of not finding out how I did. He doesn't deserve that."

"I will. Now I know I can...

I really am sorry."

I mused, staring into my coffee for something diplomatic to say.

"Shit happens.

We've been friends since school. We'll get over it."

Kelly was willing it. Wanting me to say everything would be alright. It probably wouldn't. I had to get used to the idea that Liam wasn't mine any more, but I also didn't see Kelly as a true friend either.

I looked at Kellys tits. Way to large for her frame. They defied gravity. I'd seen them. Not for a long time. We'd shared a cubicle to change in the swimming centre a couple of times. Now I imagined Liam pushing his cock between them. A drunken comment about how he'd like to once made on a night out. Now he could. Probably already had.

"It'll be fine Kelly." I lied.

I'd talk to her but the drift apart was irreversible.

"What with work and..."

My head filled with thoughts of Mark. Of the mess I'd sunken into.

"Well. I just need some time to adjust.

We can do lunch in a couple of weeks. It'll be like old times."

Again I'd no intention of following up but it sounded like an appropriate peace offering.

"And you're fine with me and Liam?"

I smiled.

"Yeah. If you're both happy."

"Thank you.

Besides. Don't you have someone new?"

"What?"

It grated at my nerves. I knew instantly what she thought.

"Liam said you were seeing someone from work. Your boss?"

I could see she was trying to be positive. I could also see the confusion spreading out from her eyes, probably as she saw the shock horror in my own.

"It's not like that." I said, not wanting to continue the conversation.

"Sorry. I thought..."

Her eyes darted about as she quickly realised she'd made a mistake bringing it up.

Inwardly I died a little more.

The rest of the week went by smoothly. Again I kept away from the office, managing to traffic most of my business through Moria. I couldn't talk to Sarah or even Melanie without my paranoid mind analysing every word for evidence that they knew my awful secret. Moria on the other hand seemed oblivious.

Friday came again and so did a call from Mark.

"Hi Em. Where are you?

It's time we touched base."

I shrivelled into my car seat at the sound of his voice over the speakers.

"On the M1, just on my way home."

"Pop in the office first.

There's a few points we need to go over on that new cosmetics account."

"It'll be late. Perhaps Monday?"

I was just delaying the inevitable.

"It'll be fine. I'm working late. I need to see the night shift when they come on. Pop in when you get back."

With that he hung up. It wasn't a suggestion. There wasn't an option. It was an expectation. An order.

"Oh fuck."

So just like the silly teenager in the scary movie I went towards my fate while every sane voice in my head told me not to. Climbing the stairs felt like the steps to the gallows and the corridor closed in around me as I headed towards his lair.

The offices were empty. Everyone had gone home for the night. No one around to stop the inevitable happening, but also no one to discover and expose us. Was that a good thing? Or a bad one?

"Ahh. You're back."

"Long day. I'm tired."

As if that would make any difference. He didn't care about how I felt.

"I won't keep you long."

He stood up and came around the desk as I cringed.

"You wanted to discuss the cosmetics company?"

"What?

Oh that. No it's fine. I've looked it over again. Good work."

Now I knew for definite why I was here. It was payment time. Time to tug my strings and ensure I danced obediently. The voices screamed at me to stand up for myself and end this. But outwardly I remained compliant. What little protest I could muster was swept away like litter on the beach during a tidal storm.