The Rose and the Thorn

I licked away as Kellen soon was pressing his cock on her breasts. Susie was not a cock sucking wife, she'd take my cock in her mouth back when we were having sex, but she never really sucked cock and was repulsed by semen, so blow jobs were nonexistent in our marriage. Still, it was hot seeing her take Kellen's cock in her mouth. It wasn't in there long when I tugged at Kellen to take my place licking Susie's pussy as I then licked my way up Susie's body. Stopping to feast on her titties, I then kissed her madly with her aromatic pussy scent all over my face. Kellen licked a little while at her pussy, when he knelt up and looked like he wanted to penetrate Susie.

He pressed his cock into her and as it began to slip up into her pussy, Susie moaned a little and clutched my arm. As Kellen began to hump Susie, it was fucking awesome, I had been denied sex with Susie for over a year and now she was naked and having sex with me and another guy. I knelt back stroking my cock and watched as Kellen made love to my wife. Susie was really into it, much livelier and more animated than back with the last few times I had fucked her over a year ago when she acted like I needed to hurry up and 'get it over with'. They were kissing and humping and fucking, she was her biting his ear.

Then as Kellen tonguing her ears and a series of "oh gawd" and "Oh. Yes. Yes-yes" emanating from her lips as she seemed oblivious to me as this wonderful copulation took place. She moaned in pleasure as Kellen then up on his haunches was pulling my cock as he screwed Susie. Kellen leaned forward and took my cock in his mouth, then reached his face up to kiss me, for another hungry passionate guy on guy kiss. Susie saw it all when she started going "uhhh, uhhhhhh, uhnnnnnnnn" like she was about to cum, and Kellen resumed kissing her neck and tonguing her ear when they both began to climax together. Kellen really started pounding her, she was moaning as she was bucking like a bronco and throwing her head frantically from side to side. Kellen grimaced and moaned as he ejaculated into my lovely wife as she whimpered to his climax. She had cum like that for me a time or two, but really, oh so long ago.

As Kellen and Susie slowed down their humping, they kissed and nuzzled in post orgasmic affection. I was so fucking hard, and I knew I might finally get my chance to fuck Susie again but might have done a few things to torpedo that. First, as Kellen pulled out, I took a chance and put my mouth over his still hard cock and sucked it clean of cum and pussy juices. Then, not being able to resist, I went down on Susie. I had fantasized so many times during hand jobs or solo masturbation about licking her pussy after a guy fucked her, I was not going to let slip this opportunity. Susie squirmed as I pressed my mouth upon her pussy, sopping wet with Kellen's semen. I'm sure she did not expect me to lick her pussy after Kellen had ejaculated inside her. No stranger to the taste of cum, licking it from Susie's pussy was an otherworldly joy.

My ravishing assault with my mouth and tongue molested Susie's sweet little pussy as she squirmed and writhed to my lapping at her pussy so soon after it had just been fucked. She started moaning and shaking and after an intense shudder, she was pushing me away whispering barely audible, "stop, please stop." I did not want to stop; it had been so long since I had tasted Susie and with the taste of Kellen's semen inside her pussy, it tasted better than I could ever remember. With a guttural "Hun, please stop", I finally did stop as Susie let out a big "whew" and threw her head back on the pillow as I came up for air.

"He should go now," she gasped with bleary eyes.

Kellen looked at me sheepishly and started dressing as I grabbed a robe. I had very much enjoyed our three-way tryst, playing with Susie and seeing Kellen fuck Susie. Then being able to lick her pussy after being denied for so long, let alone licking it filled with semen was fucking awesome, though I was disappointed she asked him to leave. Plus, after all of this I still had not cum. With Kellen dressed, I walked him down the stairs to the front door. We looked at each other as I reached for the door handle. Kellen took my arm and stopped me, looking me in the eyes.

"Look," he said. "That was wonderful with you two. I think you're hot too." Kellen told me, not sure how I'd react, though I'm thinking he would not have said it if he did not have some sort of sense about me.

"Would you like to see me alone?" I asked quietly. Kellen nodded a yes. "Can I text you tomorrow?" Kellen nodded again. "I better get back up to Susie," I said looking wistfully at him.

We stared deeply into each other's eyes, then like magnets in close proximity, we joined in a hungry homosexual kiss. It lasted but a moment, but it was telling and powerful, as I then opened the door and Kellen exited. Walking back upstairs to Susie I was at once apprehensive about how she would be up in bed after getting fucked by Kellen, elated that I got to have some real sex with Susie in the flesh, and both guilty and excited about the possibility of a closet gay hook up with Kellen. I knew Susie well enough by how she acted telling Kellen he'd better go after screwing her that she might be freaked out having sex again after all this time. With her having sex with Kellen and me participating, she may have been having second thoughts. Selfishly, deep down, I so wanted to screw Susie once I was back in bed with her. I knew that probably would not happen.

NOT SO FAST, MISTER

It was a long journey of her diminished libido crumbling to no libido after her illness followed by her conditioning me to accept only a hand job as our sex life. I was rather uncertain what to expect as I removed the robe and got back into bed. Susie was curled up in a fetal position as I snuggled up next to her and kissed her head through her hair. I held her and snuggled close as she whispered through barely noticeable sobs "hold me." My worst fears that in the emotional disarray that her personality had become after the illness, that rather than what we just did with Kellen might help our sexual union, it produced a less than optimal reaction from her. I told her I loved her as we held spooning for the longest time, her back to my front. She said nothing, not even the perfunctory "I love you too" after me telling her I loved her. What arousal I might have had after what should have been a joyous night, especially for me, had vanished along with any residual erection.

In these long moments of awkward silence, I finally asked "are you okay?" as I continued to hold her. At last, she turned facing me, kissing me on the cheek telling me "I'm okay." I was not sure what to say as I did not have a good read on what she felt or thought about the sex earlier with Kellen. While now she was in emotional disarray, I did not need to ask if she enjoyed the sex, I saw her enjoy it as we all did in the moments of our sexual activities.

"Thank you for tonight," I said. "It seems like you are having issues with it, but I thought it was wonderful. I love you so much and you are so beautiful. It was incredible seeing him make love to you like I've never stopped wanting to make love with you. I want you to want and enjoy having sex with me again." My erection was returned as I told her this.

"I....I....I enjoyed it," Susie said. "I just don't know what to think about everything and why I'm like this now."

"Don't overthink, enjoy," I told Susie as I put her hand on my penis, now growing erect again.

"This is all you ever think about," Susie said. I was certain she'd pull her hand away from my penis after she said this, but she didn't, as she softly stroked my growing erection.

"I think about you, how I want you. Shouldn't a man desire his wife? Is that not noble?" I hoped my words might carry some weight.

"I know you've always talked about me having sex with another guy or with another woman. There, we did it. It was fun, but I need time to think about it," Susie told me.

"Seeing him touch you, kiss you, screw you, made me want you even more. After over a year of only this," I said touching her hand and giving it a jacking motion over my penis, "after a year of only this with all your clothes on, sex with you and Kellen was the most exciting sex I've ever had. I'd love to make love right now, I'm so hard."

"Not now, I can't," Susie said. "At some point I might get back to normal with us, we'll see. I'm not even sure about bringing Kellen back to bed with us again. I know you'd love it. You and Kellen did not mind touching each other. Guessing a little bisexuality was going on tonight. He seemed as into you as he was me."

"I was so happy to have real naked sex with you, Hun," I told her, as hand worked its magic on my penis. "I'm so hard over all this. I was so happy to see you want real sex again."

"When Jack was hitting on me over at Ann's, I could not believe how horny it made me. He's a jerk, but for a moment it made me want sex again. I never would have asked Kellen to come over if Jack had not made me so horny. Now I'm confused about everything. I'll do this for you," she said as she began rubbing my cock in earnest "then we should go to sleep. I don't know why Jack hitting on me made me feel like having sex again."

"You won't have sex with me, yet Jack wanting to screw you made you horny?" I spit out.

"I'm going to blame that on you, Dear," Susie replied. "You've talked dirty talk forever about watching me with other men. You brought it up in your fantasy talk, but I don't think you had any idea how wet it makes me, all your talk of you wanting to see another man screw me. I never told you how much the thought of me screwing another man turns me on. Never once have I told you that I like the thought of sex with other men. My self-confidence is not the greatest, so being hit on by Jack and being found attractive by other men gives me a tingle. It's exciting to me, yes.... Yes, it is very exciting. Ann and all the girls think Jack is a jerk, but the rumor is that he's incredible in bed."

I pulled away the sheet as Susie masturbated me. She didn't stop me when I played with her titties as she jacked on my cock. As usual when getting a hand job from Susie, dozens of sex scenes raced through my mind - scenes of tonight's sex with Kellen, scenes of me being alone with Kellen for clandestine closet gay sex, thoughts of Jack fucking Susie, yes, Jack, Thoughts of him screwing Susie and her really getting into it and really cutting loose with her inhibitions like she won't with me anymore, made this hand job incredible. I wondered what Jack's cock would be like, wondering why I was so aroused during this hand job from Susie by the thought of his cock and the thought of Jack fucking Susie.

"Tell me what you think about when I'm doing this to you," Susie asked as she stroked my cock.

"I think about so many things. My mind races with thoughts of all kinds of sex, you know that" I let out.

"Tell me, I want to hear. I love hearing what goes on in your mind, tell me," Susie urged.

"I love the thought of girls in bikinis, girls in panties and bras, women in sexy dresses and sexy clothes. You're so hot. I love the thought of sex with you. You're so hot, yes, even the thought of Jack seeing you naked, the thought of him screwing you makes me hard. Jack would love to see you in nothing but a pair of panties," I said, I was so hard talking about her and Jack as Susie played with my cock.

"Would you like to put on some panties? I know you love that," her asking me that with her hand stroking my penis was almost too much. "Do you want to wear a pair now? Go get some, I know you want to," she implored.

How could I resist? I got up, went to her pantie drawer and picked out a pair that I loved. They were bright pink bikini panties, stretchy and silky, simple, yet divine. Back when we were having sex, they were always my favorite ones that she'd wear. When she stopped having sex with me, she'd put them on me during hand jobs, and I had masturbated behind her back quite a number of times in those silky, divine bright pink panties. I brought them back to bed and she started rubbing my penis with them. Needless to say, this felt very good. And needless to say, I wanted her to put them on me.

This hand job that night was much more exciting than the usual Saturday morning, run of the mill, "hurry up and get it over with" hand jobs. With Susie naked, and the memory and excitement of Kellen playing with her and having fucked her, my arousal was off the charts. I picked up the panties from her hands and kinda 'displayed' them. Susie knew from our weekly hand jobs that this meant I wanted her to put them on me. She opened them up and I sneaked my feet through the openings as she pulled them up over my excruciatingly hard penis. When she rubbed my cock through them with its tip sticking out the top, a big dollop of clear pre cum glistened on the tip.

"When you have my panties on, what do you think about? Isn't it a little gay for a guy to wear panties? Does it make you feel feminine or gay"?" she went on.

"I don't know why, they just feel good," I lied.

......XOXO

............I didn't know if I was bi or gay. I loved Susie as a wife, a companion, as a lover, I loved her beautiful body, but I'd succumbed to the demons of my past and more than a few times when I'd had closet homosexual encounters with other guys while I was dressed in panties and lingerie. Being feminine for a masculine guy would make me feel sexy and the arousal I felt getting dolled up for a guy in a dress, panties, high heels, a wig and makeup drove me crazy as a secret hidden thrill. I was skinny with little body hair and still boyish looking, despite being a little older than Susie.

Kissing another man, being feminine for him, sucking his cock, these things drove me crazy with sexual excitement. I'd even let a guy fuck me on occasion, it only happened a few times, but I knew if I was out and gay, that I'd be the feminine partner, the 'bottom' in a gay relationship. Yet, if I really was gay, I wouldn't want to come out. I guess I'd be a pussy about it not wanting to come out with friends, family or co-workers. Knowing I loved the excitement of gay sex, simply added to my internal conflict.

If you are married and know it's likely you might be gay or could easily go gay if you were not married, you will remain married if it is a good marriage. Only if the pull of homosexuality was greater than the loving companionship of a good marriage would you come out. Or if you were inadvertently outed or caught and the marriage collapsed, that might bring you out. So far, I maintained the status quo of keeping my homosexuality confined to my head during masturbation and hand jobs. My closet homosexual affairs happened quite some time ago. That did not make my homosexual desires any less powerful. In the time since Susie got sick, I was still a loving husband and refrained from letting my demons overtake me, especially since all I was getting were hand jobs. You would have thought I'd be more inclined to seek sex outside of Susie, but no.

Susie was asking what I was thinking about when she was giving me hand jobs. If she knew even a fraction of what went through my mind, our relationship might have come to a sudden halt. My thoughts of gay sex, gay romance, gay situations were vivid and unchained. I could not explain why that despite my quite stable and loving marriage to Susie, one of my biggest fantasies was to have a steady boyfriend and even live with him as his femme lover. This fantasy had morphed into me being the feminine homosexual wife to another man. Yeah, how do you think that would go over with Susie? With Susie denying me any sex other than a hand job for over a year, it wore on my sexual identity. Of late, there was a more exciting type of porn I was feeding my mind while solo masturbating, it was an arousing new kink....cuckold porn. Nothing seemed more arousing than the thought of seeing another man make love to Susie, seeing him enjoy the pleasures of her lovely body like she wouldn't allow me to enjoy.

With a hand job, as the only sex I was allowed from Susie since her illness, it would seem only natural that cuckold and "Hot Wife" porn fantasies would start tripping the trigger of my sexual topography. Back in the early days of our marriage when I would tell Susie the dirty talk sexual fantasies during foreplay, there was a lot of me telling her exciting scenes of some gal's husband making love to Susie, kissing her, licking her beautiful little titties, licking her pussy and him fucking her in my presence and the presence of his wife. Back then I did not know what a hot wife or a cuckold was, it was just another exciting element to my vivid sexual imagination thinking about how hot it would be seeing Susie having sex with another guy.

Actually, back then, my bi/gay desires were every bit as powerful as today and a couple swapping fantasy was not quite what most would think it was. In truth, the "swingers" fantasies I also desired, were not the ones I told Susie. I would tell her how hot it would be to see her make love to another guy's wife (again my fantasy and most guys' fantasy, not hers). What I never really came out and said or was explicit about, was what a turn it was to think about me to make love to the husband in these fantasies with her watching. I'd let slip a little about me touching another guy's cock before he'd screw her but told her nothing of my powerful desires for me to kiss another man, suck his cock, have him fuck in bed with Susie watching. When I kissed Kellen and sucked his cock in front of Susie it was now revealed.

Still, most of my dirty talk during foreplay, in those days, was about another man or several men at once having sex with Susie. Thoughts of Susie in panties being the plaything to a group of hung horny men drove me wild, imagining how turned on they would be playing with her lovely body as they force their cocks on her. Telling these sex stories to Susie about her having sex with other men, made up on the fly, were very arousing to us both and I know they aroused Susie though she never verbalized it like I did. Our sex back then was pretty fucking hot..........

XOXO......

LOVELY THOUGHTS

"I think you must have at least some gay thoughts when you have panties on and I'm doing this," Susie asked as she emphatically jacked on my incredibly hard penis, encased in silky bright pink panties. "You've talked about bi stuff before telling me your fantasies. You and Kellen were kissing, and you even put Kellen's cock in your mouth tonight. Then you licked me with all his stuff inside me. I've never really thought much about it, but I guess you have no issues sucking a guy's cock?" she asked, looking me in the eyes as she continued to caress my now incredibly hard penis. She was calling me on my bluff.

"Susie, you make me so hard talking about all this," I whispered, was the only response I could offer. With her hand on my pantie clad penis, Susie verbalizing my true sexuality was almost too much.

"If you kiss another guy, that's pretty gay. You loved kissing Kellen, didn't you? I know you did. Would you suck his cock more than you did tonight? Like suck his cock all the way, give him a blow job?" she asked.

"Probably, I guess," I told her.....Probably, I guess?....I had just kissed Kellen at the door and basically set up a gay hook up.

"I hope you love me and are not really gay. I know I haven't helped things out between us very much, by us only just doing this lately," she said jacking a little more emphatically on my penis.

"I'm not gay," I lied to Susie and to myself. "I just find all kinds of sex exciting. It's the most exciting with you, like tonight."