The Rose and the Thorn

Susie was responding to my affectionate intentions and as I continued to finger her quite firmly through her panties, I soon pulled them down. Again, no resistance from Susie. With her panties off it was not long till I had my face between her legs licking her sweetness and urging her on. Every step of the way I was leery of her denial, but none came. I soon mounted my lovely wife for the first time in who knows how long as we began to make love. It was incredible, she was so beautiful and sweet, I felt guilty about enjoying my gay tryst with Kellen and guilty about all the times I had a closet encounter with another guy. I felt guilty about encouraging her to screw Jack. Now I was finally making love with my wife. She was lovely and so deserving of all my good intentions, deserving of a husband who could celebrate her feminine charms. We made love with wonderful passion as our arousal climbed.

Unavoidably, despite her feminine loveliness and the loving union we were finally re-igniting, the thoughts of gay and bisexual sex scenes overpowered my mind. I was back to the place I had been most of my marriage to Susie; the only way I could ever climax was by letting rampant scenes and desires of homosexual love making rule my thoughts. Many were of my recent encounter with Kellen; kissing him, being naked with him, sucking his cock, how good it felt being his lover when he made love to me, when I submitted to that special place in the closet of gay sex with him.

Then the elephant in the room hit -- here I was screwing my lovely wife in the first time in over a year and in my mind, I was imagining sucking Jack's cock before he fucked Susie. The wonderful thought of how hot and beautiful Susie was and how even hotter she was getting fucked by Jack made me hump excitedly up into Susie. It had been so long. In my mind she was so into him, being a sexy little vixen, taking his cock and loving it, being expressive and passionate having sex with him, but it was more than that. Scenes of Susie out on a date with Jack, him showing off MY wife, how hot she was, how much she was loving all his attention, loving being a sexy little hottie, soaking it all up, showing the world that Jack had snagged such a hot piece of ass, MY wife.

As we screwed, in my mind she was sashaying in high heels and the sexy skimpy spaghetti strap dress, all dolled up looking like a million bucks, for JACK, not me. She was always a jeans and a blouse or cotton top gal for me. She never wore dresses, can't even remember the last time she wore a dress, maybe at a wedding we attended long ago, and she felt obligated to wear a dress. Now Jack was going to buy her a $500 dress to wear on a date for HIM, not me. Susie had fabulous long wavy golden-brown hair down to her hottie little ass, other women would always stop her and tell her what lovely hair she had, was it natural? It was. She wore her hair up most of the time around the house for me. Knowing she would be in a skimpy cocktail dress and high heels with her lovely long hair flowing and aglow after a day at the salon being pampered and preened, it would be for JACK. Any and every male who would see her so dolled up and lovely would want her. It was JACK who was going to have her.

Susie and I kissed and screwed in a remarkably loving fashion. I was surprised we were actually making love, she had denied me everything, other than a hand job for so long. I was surprised she was screwing me after she had set up a date with Jack and that he would be screwing her. Kissing her madly, tonguing her ear, fondling her lovely little titties as we screwed, it was heaven. I had no way of knowing what was going through her mind as she seemed to be approaching climax. She never seemed to reach climax that often with me and in relatively short order she was there as the "Oh yesses" and "Uh huhs" were escaping her lips. I knew that our little game texting Jack and setting up Susie on a date with him had to be arousing her long-lost libido. Her eyes were closed as she climaxed, clutching me, digging her nails into me like she never had before.

Her orgasm urged me on, I was screwing my lovely wife as the images in my mind were rampant of her and Jack;

-Susie looking stunning in $500 dress and high heel sandals, her aura shining, glowing brightly, she's exquisitely pretty and dolled up walking hand in hand Jack into the most expensive restaurant in town;

-Every man envious and drooling over Susie, every woman envious as well of her remarkable, nonchalant hottie-ness;

-Susie bending down, allowing Jack to look admiringly into the top of the revealing cocktail dress at Susie's braless perfect little titties as she reaches into her purse;

-Susie snuggling up to Jack, alone in the elevator on the way up to their hotel suite as his hands are all over her feeling her titties and round tiny ass through her skimpy dress as she rubs his hard cock through his trousers, both kissing madly, gasping for breath;

-In their hotel suite overlooking the city as her dress flutters in a pile at her feet, still in high heels and the tiniest of microfiber silver string bikini panties, Jack is devouring her beauty running his hands over her luscious nakedness as they stand there kissing;

-Susie in her panties and high heels is pulling on Jack's massive cock as his shirt and tie come off;

-As the last of his clothing comes off, Jack flings Susie on the oversized bed and is all over her, still in her high heels and panties, Jack fingering, groping, ravishing my lovely wife who is as wild and eager as any lover with her man could be.....

......as my cock humped in and out of Susie, with these images in my head of her and Jack, it was a wonderful sensation of sex with her, the touch and scent of her body urged me closer. These many visions of Jack and Susie raced through my head were also laced with images of me in bisexual and homosexual situations as always was the case with me approaching orgasm. Like the hand job the week before, after Kellen left, and any hand job from Susie in my year without real sex with her and the time before back when we were having sex in our marriage. So many clips of so many sexual scenes played in my mind like a porno video spliced together and playing at high speed. Here I was finally making love to Susie after so long and the fantasy thoughts running through my mind were of me sucking cock, being naked for other men to have sex with me, thoughts of my faggy-ness and femmy-ness while in panties or fully in drag for another man.

Why? Was I simply a latent homosexual denying the truth about myself? Was a fantasy of me fully in dolled up in drag for gay sex simply me projecting onto myself the same desires I had about Susie dolled up for sex with Jack? As these forbidden, yet siren sweet, thoughts submerged my psyche, a fleeting image of Susie, naked and beautiful, making incredible passionate love to Jack would soon tip the scale. Susie had always known fingering my tight bung hole during sex would always be a trigger to climax. She began fingering me again, yet she had no way of knowing about all the incredible thoughts of wild sex that were flashing through my mind as I ejaculated a thunderous orgasm inside my lovely wife. It had been so long, well over a year.

Susie was sweet and loving as we stayed joined, the sensation my penis felt in the warm wetness inside her pussy was so welcome, after so long. When I did slip out of her, we hugged and nuzzled in the afterglow of our lovemaking, as always, my libido seemed unchecked. Pawing Susie's lovely little breasts as we grasped the reconnection of marital consummation, my penis glowed warm and tingly as the scent of Susie's body and the aroma of her pussy recharged my arousal. After a sweet short kiss, I shamelessly went between her legs and began licking her sweet slit, hoping she would not turn me away.

When people masturbate alone, after the climax, the many stimulating thoughts they have often vanish like a wisp of smoke and are forgotten about them. Your libido sags and you deny that you had such taboo thoughts. You would never reveal these sex thoughts to another person and then after the solo masturbation ejaculation, you move on in your day to nonsexual things. With me, after sex with another person, unlike with jacking off, I rarely lost my libido. That was the case when I had sex alone with Kellen. We had incredible gay sex, kissing, sucking cock, being made love to by him with Kellen cumming inside me making me cum. Then we nuzzled and loved and talked with our arousal for each other never subsiding, leading to renewed sexing with equally fabulous second ejaculations.

Here with Susie, it was the same, my arousal urged me on as I licked my own semen from her sweet femininity. I had done the same thing after Kellen ejaculated inside her the other night, but it was not something I had done before with Susie. Actually, once early in our marriage we screwed one afternoon, then dozed off and I woke and licked her clean, tasting my own semen inside her, leading to another fabulous fuck. That remarkableness of licking my own semen from her pussy always burned bright in my memories and desires. Many times, in the early days of marriage, I wanted to lick my own semen from her pussy but was afraid of what she might think. It was only now and the time with Kellen that I again shamelessly indulged in this erotic act. Susie squirmed as I licked the tangy taste of my semen from her, but I did not want to wear out my welcome, as I could sense while it must feel pleasurable me licking her, she did not seem ready for another go around. I rejoined her as we hugged, appreciative that we were finally naked alone together in love making. We told each other "I love you." In our coming back to reality Susie commented:

"You never get tired of sex, do you? Don't say anything, I know you. I'm okay, I'm getting better. That was wonderful," Susie told me.

"I hope you enjoyed it. Texting Jack and all this naughty talk seemed to really get you off," I replied.

"You may not want to hear this, after we finally made love again," Susie said, as she touched my sticky, half hard penis. "I don't think I've ever cum so hard as I just did. I was thinking about Jack the whole time."

"I'll take some of the blame," I told her.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but when you licked me clean just now, it tells me you are more than okay with bi sex. I saw that with you and Kellen. I can't tell you why, but something about you being a little gay makes the thought sex with Jack more exciting than I ever imagined. It's kind of like the stark macho masculinity of Jack tingles me and makes me feel like beautiful a woman. With you being sweet and kind and loving feminine things, I see you as somewhat gay, more than just bisexual. I can't help it that the straight masculinity of Jack really turns me on now," Susie was as honest and expressive as she ever had been telling me this. Her telling me this, and her hand on my penis had produced another substantial erection.

"I love you," I told her. "I still love being your husband."

"I love you too. That will never change. I love being your wife and want us to be together, always. Things have changed with me and with you. I'm not the compliant, unsure wife I was early in our marriage. After the night with Kellen and all this happening with Jack I see things differently. I feel differently," Susie was slowly masturbating me again as she said this.

"You're beautiful. I love you," was all I could muster as my renewed erection was clouding speech composition.

"I love you too. Honey, just today something changed in me, even though we made love again for the first time in forever. I'm going to go through with this being with Jack, something tells me to. You can't be upset, you've fantasized to me about me having sex with other men as long as I can remember," her words and the touch of her hand on my hard penis made everything surreal in the reality that my fantasies might come to pass.

"That's true. I'm not upset," I timidly acknowledged.

"When we were making love and the thought of Jack screwing me was getting me off, I had other thoughts that got me off."

"Oh?" I spoke. This renewed sex talk was sending me back to sex crazed orbit.

"There was this image of Jack being so confident and masculine, like when he brazenly asked me at the party if my husband let me sleep with other men. That was really getting me off when we were screwing just now. At the same time, I had this image of you and Kellen kissing and being lovers. Ann once told me she thought Kellen might be gay, though Kellen never admitted anything to her and dates women now and then. I see you as being so natural and gay with Kellen. That, coupled with Jack's masculinity appealing to my sense of being a woman really tipped me over the edge. It was that Jack knows how to act like how a man should act for women who want a real man, not a sweet somewhat feminine gay man. I came so hard thinking about Jack making manly love to me while imagining you and Kellen being sweet gay lovers."

Her words hit home. I could not say anything. I put my hand on Susie's hand motioning for her to readily masturbate me. Did she know about me and Kellen? Did Kellen say something to Ann? Or was it just the way I had always hinted about bi sex and the way I interacted with Kellen in bed with Susie that night? I'm sure she did not know, otherwise she never would have had sex with me just now. Must have been all the times she knew I loved wearing her panties as she jacked me off, coupled with me and Kellen touching each other in bed with her, she saw us kissing and then I licked his cock clean before licking his semen from her pussy.

My demons seemed to cloud my thinking and allowed my innermost desire to show. Susie wanted a husband, wanted a man and she was becoming enamored with the thought of masculine, confident Jack. She was seeing more of the true me; a kind guy, somewhat a beta, a guy whose true sexuality was less than straight and increasingly showing overt signs of homosexuality. Clips of me having sex with Kellen raced through my mind as Susie masturbated me. We had just fucked for the first time in over a year and now she was masturbating me again. Scenes of Susie and Jack together flashed in my mind. I saw MY wife looking sexy, freewheeling and happy with a confident masculine man. These revelations of my sexuality submersed my thoughts into a sweet bubbling brew of wonderful homosexual scenes. In my thoughts, I freely acted out my love of being such an expressive femme fairy while having luscious sex with another man as Susie stroked my penis.

"I love you. We're best friends. I don't mind if you enjoy being a little gay with Kellen or some other guy. Please don't mind that I want to experience what Jack brings to the table. Let's pretend we are just taking separate camping trips with friends and will always end up home here together, you and me. Just let's be safe physically and emotionally in all this. You don't have to tell me that you are complex sexually and sex with other guys appeals to you, I can see it. You're older and have more experience, mine is so little. Let me have new experiences with Jack. You are so sweet, and if the thought of me and Jack excites both you and me, the thought of you and Kellen being romantic with each other is a fun thought for me. Better you and Kellen, than you with another woman."

"Don't stop, I love hearing you say these things," my penis tingled as this conversation during a hand job was getting me close.

"Honey, I'm want to be with Jack alone, all by myself, you can't be there. I want to experience it on my own without having to deal with the you and me factor," Susie told me as her hand continued to work its magic on my penis.

"You are such a hottie. I caused all this. Thinking about Jack screwing you makes me so hard," my penis ached saying this as Susie continued stroking me.

"With me going out with Jack on Saturday, you should see if Kellen is free that night. Then you won't be so jealous of me and Jack. It's okay with me if you do," Susie told me. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"This is so strange that it excites me so much. Me wanting you to have sex with another man and you wanting me to go on a date with another man," as I said this, I was getting close.

"Guys always like seeing two girls together. I think it's lovely you and Kellen as lovers," Susie's telling me this conjured up an image of me in bed with Kellen kissing and making love.

I nodded and moaned as Susie words were sending over the falls. I touched her lovely breasts as an image of me and Kellen holding hands as we saw Jack and Susie on their way to their date. The truth of my homosexual desires, as always, was seeping out. Everything that happened up to this point made me cum so hard as I squirmed and moaned and shuddered from Susie's loving hand job. We had just screwed the first time in over a year. But now she was masturbating me again, to thoughts of her being with Jack and thoughts of me being gay with Kellen.

DING DING

Things did change between us. On Sunday Susie went out with her mom again and I stayed home to watch the game. The minute Susie was out the door, I texted Kellen. I told him I'd love to talk with him and maybe see him again. He was over at Ann's and asked if he could stop by. With Susie gone for a while I took a chance and said yes. We kissed as he walked in the door, then we sat on the couch and talked. I told him about Jack and Susie, and what was going on with them this upcoming Saturday. Kellen told me he'd seen this with Jack before, he knew all about Jack and did not want to see me get hurt.

I told Kellen about me and Susie making love the day before for the first time in over a year. Told him about me always urging her to have sex with other men for as long as we'd been married, that it was just dirty pillow talk. Nothing ever came of it till Susie invited Kellen over. Told him that it had kind of taken on a new aspect. As I was telling Kellen this, I was rubbing the inside of his leg. I spoke about how Susie thought I should explore more with him, that she could tell I was more than a little bi-curious, that she kinda knew, that she could tell, especially that night the three of us had sex. As I asked Kellen if he wanted to go on a date with me on Saturday when Susie was out with Jack, I was rubbing his cock through his pants. In a flash we were kissing, and I undid his pants, and soon had his cock in my mouth.

I didn't think Susie would be home for a while, and though she guessed about my bisexuality towards Kellen, I would not want her to see us this friendly behind her back. In the convoluted world of my sexuality and changing relationship with Susie, sucking Kellen's cock was still quite a thrill for me. His cock was so hard as I took it in my mouth and pleasured him. As much I had always fantasized about sucking cock while masturbating or during sex with Susie, now actually sucking his cock was driving me wild with horniness. Kellen ran his hands through my hair as I obsessively sucked him off. He was moaning and saying, "oh yes!" telling me how good it felt. Making Kellen ejaculate in my mouth was so fucking hot, I was loving it. Before he left, he gave me a hand job on the couch as we kissed in our horniness. We planned to talk before Saturday.

On Wednesday after dinner, Susie's phone made the text ding sound, and she picked up her phone and went to the other room. Shortly after, her phone rang, and she answered right away. She was talking sweetly, talking quietly and laughing a little bit and the conversation went on easily for more than twenty minutes. It did not take a rocket scientist to know that it was Jack she was talking to.

I had no basis for jealousy with all the coaxing I ever did urging Susie having sex with another man, not to mention that I had sex with Kellen now twice with Susie unaware of it. Yet, I still had a pit in my stomach, knowing Susie was talking to him. It was one thing to talk fantasy dirty talk about Susie screwing another man while we were in bed aroused during foreplay. It was quite something else to know your wife would be seeing another man with this fact out in the open for both of us. It was not anger I felt, it was more like shame and deep sadness. What had I done? I really loved Susie, we got along great, we never fought, we were loving companions, a great team who had built a stable life together. What had I done? I was weirded out and quite nearly in tears. What a pussy I was. Jack certainly would never shed a tear over a woman, he was an Alpha, he bedded women, he did not shed tears over them.