The Sindustry: Sketchy

Authors Note: This is the 3rd story in The Sindustry series. The first 2 are "Baggage" and "Carry On Baggage".

"When you think about it, porn vignettes are just sketches with interludes for sex. Absurd set ups, usually punny dialogue, and a conclusion, usually witty if the writer or director wasn't lazy."

That was an observation that David gave me early on when we started shooting porn together. Wanting to do the best porn out there, I decided to sign up for one of the sketch writing classes around town.

I was worried I might not get into one of the better ones. The good thing was that they all really are kind of rackets that makes most of their money from the 101 basic classes. Obviously, a few move on and end up on Saturday Night Live or film, but the low end is the cash cow. And I wasn't looking to spend my Saturday nights in Rockefeller Center.

It didn't take long for my classmates to recognize me. Obviously it was the the guys. I wasn't the biggest pornstar by far, but it doesn't take a bunch of early career comedians with a lot of time on their hands to find the newest porn stars. So my not-a-lie excuse that I wanted to write funnier "short films" was quickly exposed when the first guy recognized me as Gwen Morgan.

Luckily, that only made me more popular in the class. But with that popularity came problems.

Everyone wanted a chance to get with me in some way. Oh, obviously the guys always wrote me in a shallow, slutty role (though every woman ended up that way with undersexed beta-male scripts.). And I could manage the men and their horniness, and their belief that they could bed me with the right funny script (which, if one of them actually put it up, wasn't outside the realm of possibility).

It was the women that were the real problem.

See, every woman in comedy wants to be a whore. Okay, not all, but a lot. Like the guys, most of the funniest women have some chip on their shoulder. Not many prom queens end up in comedy. They got to thinking that by hanging out with me they could get some secret to great sex and getting attractive guys with huge dicks.

The one that tried hardest was Annette. It didn't take long talking with her to know she was a straight-A people pleaser sort, who had forsaken the usual route of med school, law school, or political science for comedy. This was a woman starving for validation, and that is why she sought me out.

"Hey, would you want to be a guest on my podcast?" she asked me after class one day.

There is no worst request than that. I get hit up by a lot of douchebags who want sex for nothing but merely existing, but I can blow them off easily. The podcast ask is a harder thing to do, since those asking think they are really offering you something valuable ("exposure"), but what they really hope is to plug your name into the title and get a boost in listeners.

And I had turned down plenty of those requests. It's not that I was ungrateful for the attention, it's that it was clear who benefited more from that. I'd have no time to fuck and make porn if I said yes to every one.

But what bugged me about Annette most wasn't that it was yet another comedian's attempt to build their career with a podcast. It was that she was actually talented, and I doubted she was willing to truly reciprocate what I would offer her.

"I don't know," I said.

"Come on, it could be fun. We can talk about your process, your career, how you ended up there..." Annette begged.

"Would you do a one-for-one and appear in one of my videos?" I asked.

Annette was taken aback by the request.

"What? That's weird," she said.

"Why is it weird? Isn't that what you want me to talk about?" I asked.

"I..." Annette stumbled.

I had her caught. So many people are hypocritical about porn. We all consume it, but most relegate it to the incognito window on their computers. It's something to joke about and silently acknowledge using, but never really giving it the same cultural discourse attention that film, television, or even shallow reality TV gets.

"Sorry, but I need a one-for-one on this. You want me to make your podcast cooler, I can do that. But I'm in this class to make my porn funnier and better written," I said.

"I mean, if you want me to help you write a good script, I can do that," Annette offered.

"Okay. But then I will only write for your podcast, not appear on it," I said.

"These aren't the same thing," Annette offered.

"No, they aren't. Your podcast will get a much bigger audience boost from this than my videos will, but I will trade that for a better quality for my work," I said.

"I can't do porn. It's hard enough being a female comedian and taken seriously as a professional," Annette said.

"Look who you're preaching to," I said, "I'm not asking for sex. I wasn't presuming that I was going to have sex with you on your podcast. I'm not opposed to that if the scenario is right."

"What would you want me to do then?" Annette asked.

"I don't know, but there are non-nude roles. You could play my friend and help me set up a scene, and dip out before the sex starts. Gay porn has women do that sometimes. You know, 'Right in front of my salad?'," I said.

"Yeah, I've watched gay porn with friends," Annette said, "Doesn't mean I want to star in it."

"Co-star at best. Supporting actress," I said.

"I don't think agents are going to be able to tell the difference," Annette said.

"Then they aren't good agents. I'm not asking you for any more than you'd get from a bad sex comedy. You don't event need to show your tits," I said.

"Again, it's hypocritical, but people can write off a sex comedy. It's not hardcore," Annette said.

"What if it were softcore? A throw-back to Red Shoes Diaries?"

"If you could get me Showtime, we could talk," Annette said.

What I knew now was that at heart Annette wasn't a hard on no-nudity, it was public perception. But I had no way to work that at this time. It was the Catch-22 of my goal to bring porn into the mainstream. Good but unrecognized talent would rather fade away in obscurity in Hollywood than chance it.

"Well, I guess we're at an impasse," I said.

We let it drop then and there.

That was, until the next class. We went through our class as normal, and I jealously read a minor part in Annette's hilarious sketch based on working in coffeeshop. She spun gold from her minimum wage survival job, and no one would be see it except the people in this class. My own sketch, based on a bad date pre-California, was a bronze medal script at best.

I packed up my stuff and was ready to head home to cam for rent, when Annette approached me.

"Can we talk?"

She was nervous, which made me cautiously optimistic. We walked down the street to a coffeeshop (Not the one she worked at). I got a small latte, and she didn't get anything, Given how her hands shook with nervousness, I figured she didn't need the caffeine.

She pulled out a printed script. I didn't have to ask why she didn't email it to me, if was obvious she didn't want to leave a digital trail.

"Here, tell me what you think?"

I read the script. It was a porn vignette, and in it was a clearly Mary Sue tale of where Annette inserted herself in to a fantasy. It needed some work -- it was a bit too wordy and timid, the lead was too passive, and it just felt restrained, and not in a BDSM way.

"Interesting," I said, "Needs a pass by a pro in the genre, but I can see it."

"So, could you make it?" Annette asked.

I had two questions to ask her, though I already knew the answer to one..

"Who is the guy you would want to cast?"

"Ideally... Lars Yeats," she said.

Great fucking choice. He was one my list of people I wanted to work with. Lars was new to the industry, but he stood out. He was a black haired Irishman nicked named "69": Six foot tall, nine inches long. More than his ripped body and chiseled handsome features was the fact that he oozed charm and charisma. He didn't hide his sensual Irish brogue. Even the worst dialogue porn had to offer seemed to come out like poetry from his mouth. And while he didn't have a wide range as an actor, he did his best work without seeming to try. A look, a light touch, a gentle smack on the ass could do so much, at least for the female viewer.

"Alright. And would you be starring in this?" I asked.

"No. I was hoping you would," she said.

I sighed. Again, this was short of what I needed.

"I don't think so. I wouldn't want to play you," I said.

"Well, it's only partially based on me. If we rewrote it -"

"I want to costar with you, okay? I respect you as an actress and I think you could help me realize the vision of what I want to do. But your Mary Sue script isn't it. To be honest, I wouldn't even want to see you in it. You're better than this script," I said.

"What's wrong with it?" she asked.

"You are sometimes shy offstage, but you are a strong person on stage. If we were going to shoot together, you need the sort of strong characters you write for yourself. This is fantasy, and mine is to see you at your most fantastic. Now, in this genre I could play the meek one being seduced, but you need to be a stronger character. You can't just be passive," I said.

Annette looked around nervously at the patrons, hoping not to be overheard.

"I don't know what that would be," she said.

"You do. You need to write a script worthy of being on stage, you need to write a role for yourself that is strong, one for me, and one for Lars. And you need to be in it. I'm asking nothing less than what you are capable of at your best," I said.

Annette was flushed.

"I think I would need to depersonalize the script. I need to play a character. I wouldn't be able to be that vulnerable," Annette said.

"That's fair. What could that script be?" I asked.

Annette looked around.

"Can we talk about this somewhere more private?"

"Sure," I said.

We went to her apartment since it was closest. She pour some wine out and we got to talking. It was basic ideas at first, nothing too much. We got into side conversations: Out first times on stage, our first times having sex, the best times of both, the best porn we liked. About an hour-and-a-half in we started really outlining some decent ideas. Not long after we had a premise: Cyrano de BergeSnatch, a parody of the Edmond Rostand play.

The premise was fun and funny -- I would play the sexually frustrated lead who hands her phone over to her more successful friend, who gets a match with a great guy. But that would leave me nervous, since my character would have no game. Problem solved: I would hide AirPods in my ears with my hair, and she would be feeding me the dialogue during sex.

It was later that night when we were done, having spent the last few hours laughing and one-upping every joke we could. We had a pretty decent script, honestly something better either of us could have written alone. You know, there is the phrase that things are better than sex. Writing this wasn't better than the best sex I'd ever had, but it was better than my worst sex.

"Could we really make this?" Annette asked.

"We could. And I've only met Lars in passing, but I think we could get him interested in the quality of the script alone. We're always lusting for good scripts more than lonely housewives do their pool boys," I said.

Annette sighed.

"I still wonder about shooting it," she said.

I nodded.

"How about this. We shoot one version of this. The sex part doesn't involve you in the room. If we use POV's, let's say we pretend you're watching from across the street, we can shoot a version with you, and you see the final result. If you're not comfortable we cut that out and I put a porn star in your place with reshoots," I said.

Annette thought about it.

"I guess. Could I still be on set with your and Lars?"

"I would insist! At the very least you should know what my day is like on set if we do decide to do the podcast," I said.

Annette bit her lip.

"Do you think anything could happen with me and Lars... off camera?"

"Anything is possible. But I can't promise anything, no more than you would want my male co-stars to promise me to their friends," I said.

"Oh, of course, I wouldn't dare ask that. But you could put in a good word, right?"

I turned the laptop with the script toward her.

"You've already given enough good words," I said.

She smiled nervously.

The day of the shoot came. I had managed to get Lars to come on to the project. We did the shoot.

The script was a fun one. It starts out with my character talking about being unlucky on dating apps, while Annette's character helps me by doing the messaging. She matches with Lars and writes sexy, teasing messages. Lars wants to come over right away, and while my character is nervous, Annette text back yes. She tells me I just have to say yes and do it!

I worry I can't be as sexy as she is, so she comes up with a hack. She will hide AirPods in my ears and cover them with my hair, and will give me the dirty, flirty lines to say to impress Lars' characters.

We shot that first, then some scenes where she says some of the lines in another room.

Then we had my character meet Lars at the door, then some scenes where she helps me flirt with Lars until we start making out on the couch and start fucking. But in the midst of hard fucking the AirPods fall out of my ears and deep in the couch. I cannot get at them, so my character is left alone. When Lars catching my character looking for the lost AirPods, she fumbles and suggests going to the bedroom. She hopes for him to go so she can get the AirPods, but Lars lifts her with his big, strong arms to the bedroom.

"Cut," David, our director, said, "We'll reset in the bedroom."

While the equipment was being moved to the bedroom, Lars walked over to the kitchen to get a drink of water to rehydrate. Annette came over to me.

"That was so hot," she said.

"Wait until you see Lars being able to really go at me on the bed," I told her, "You should go talk to him."

She nodded nervously, and went to the kitchen.

Annette walked in the kitchen.

"Hey, Lars," she said.

"Hey," he said, turning around toward her.

Here eyes went wide when she saw him stroking his cock.

"I hope you don't mind, I need to keep my boner going," he said.

"No problem," she said, flushing a bit.

They got into talk about the scene -- how the lines were delivered, the idea behind the jokes, etc. Lars was complimentary and confident, while Annette's eyes continued to fall toward his boner.

"Do you want to touch it?" he asked.

"I... I could," Annette said.

"It would help if you could lend a hand," he quipped.

The small joke broke the tension and she reached forward and took his cock in her hand. Her body tensed like she touched a live wire.

"Wow," she said.

"Wow what?" he asked, shooting her an intense look.

"It's... powerful. Like, I've had guys before where you grab it and it's fun, but not like a wizard's rod," she said.

Lars gave a polite chuckle.

"I was shooting a scene with Cherry Red, and she had legitimate a big reaction when she first saw it.. Her look alone made the video, and every tube site uses it as the thumbnail image."

"Fuck of the Irish. Great video," Annette said.

"Yeah. I was talking to her about this video last night. I said it was one of the best scripts I'd read. She said she was looking forward to seeing it," Lars said.

"Are you two a thing?" Annette asked.

"Just occasional costars. Though I wouldn't mind if we could star in one of your scripts," Lars said.

"That would be amazing. I like her work," Annette said.

Her eyes went down to his cock in her hand again. He put a hand on the side of her face.

"If you could kiss my lips or my dick right now, which would you choose?" he asked.

She got nervous. I was secretly watching them from the doorway, and was really worried that she was going to flub this.

"Does it have to be either/or? Or can I just be your whore?" Annette said.

Lars smile betrayed his own surprise at this line.

"Well, how can I say no to a line like that?" Lars said.

He pulled her in for a kiss. It was long and sensuous. When they finally broke it they stared in each others eyes for a minute. Then Annette kissed him on his neck and down his body to his cock. She stared at the cock in front of her face. She then kissed the tip, then up and down the shaft. She cupped his balls in her hand and played with them as she kissed up and down the shaft.

"Would it be too silly if I just rubbed it on my face?" Annette asked.

"I wouldn't presume to second-guess the judgment of the woman who wrote this script," Lars said.

Permission given, Annette rubbed this cock on her face, taking in deep breaths of his scent. She was in a mesmerized state. Her eyes were closed in reverie. She took his cock in her mouth and started to blow him. Lars looked down as she worked, his expression very amused. He looked up and spotted me, giving me a wink. I return the wink and blew him a kiss.

"Having fun," David whispered.

I look back and David was there.

"Only observing it," I said.

"You know if he cums we're set back at least a half-hour," David said.

"Lars is a professional," I said.

"Was this hook up your doing?" David asked.

"I did let Lars know Annette's fascination and crush. But I don't think it's just to be nice," I said.

"Don't let him blow his load now, but do tell him to fuck her as well as she writes," David said.

"Okay," I said.

I gave David a quick kiss.

"Your place tonight?" David asked.

"Of course," I said.

"Okay. Let Lars know we need to be on set in five minutes," David said.

David stepped back. I looked back at Lars, who had been watching us. I gave him a "wrap it up" signal and he nodded. He moved a hand to Annette's face. She opened her eyes and looked up. She slowly pulled his cock out of her mouth.

"I thought you were going to push my head to deep throat me," Annette said.

"I'm sure you'd love that," Lars said.

"I don't have much practice," Annette said.

"You should Gwen show you one day," Lars said, "But I have to get back to set."

Annette sighed.

"I suppose," she said.

"You wouldn't like for this sketch not to reach its climax, would you?" he said.

"Not reaching climax is frustrating," Annette said.

"Yes. What are you doing this weekend?"

"I have a improv showcase, and I have to go to a friend's standup show," Annette said.

"How late does that go?" he asked.

"I can maybe skip the standup show," she said.

"Good. We'll meet up for drinks, talk comedy and fantasies," he said.

"That sounds lovely," she said.

Lars kissed her again and gave her ass a firm squeeze.

"Wonderful. I'd hate for you to be the only co-star I've haven't seen naked," Lars said.

I snuck away to the bedroom before they left the kitchen. They came in.

"Alright," I said as we got started, "Annette, what's my first line?"

"You say to yourself nervously 'I just need to have less talk, more cock', and you start blowing Lars," Annette said.

"Thanks Annette, you're the best," I said.