The Vampire and the Goth Ch. 03

I almost doubled over in laughter.

Dmitri's hair and muzzle began to retract. "Why are the pretty ones always so slow?"

"Hey, she's not slow. She's just human," I said, letting my irritation show.

Dmitri said "Okay, not slow. Just unobservant."

Elizabeth frowned in frustration again. "Come on guys, it's rude to speak Polish in front of me."

Dmitri's jaw dropped, he put his hands over his heart and staggered. "Polish! Stosh, she thought we were speaking Polish!"

I hadn't realized we weren't speaking English. "I'm sorry, my dear, it's easy to forget yourself when you're talking to an old friend."

Dmitri was still over-exaggerating his hurt and upset, falling down on his knees and pretending to cry to the heavens. "Okay, okay we get it, Dima. Jesus!" I said, in an exasperated tone. "We were actually speaking Russian."

A look of genuine confusion crossed Elizabeth's face. "What's wrong with speaking Polish?"

Dmitri gave a strangled cry and mimed fainting.

"Russians are weird about their language," I said, pretending to kick Dmitri. "Get up you old dog or they'll be no WODKA for you tonight!"

That did it. Dmitri jumped up immediately.

"Okay, now that the smart ass has been stabled, why don't you take a moment to explain yourself to the lady?"

"Can we get something to eat while I do it? I'm starving."

Elizabeth nodded in agreement. "I could eat, too."

"Fine." I sighed, exasperated. "Fucking werewolves need to eat all the god damn time."

Now it was Elizabeth's turn to laugh with Dmitri.

Dmitri took us to a small Brazilian barbecue restaurant. The meat was good-quality and prepared simply, just rubbed with salt and grilled over an open flame. It was an all-you-can-eat restaurant, but there wasn't a lot of tableside service. Diners walked up to the firepit and selected from the cuts of meat available. The restaurant had a buffet of side items, like rice and black beans and a rather sad attempt at a salad. Clearly, the meat was the star of the show. I don't know much about Brazil, but this restaurant seemed to be made for werewolves.

Once we found a table, a bored waiter came over armed with plates and silverware. He began a speech about how the restaurant worked, but Dmitri didn't care. He took a plate out of the waiter's hands and headed to the meat.

Elizabeth tried to make up for Dmitri's behavior by smiling at the waiter. "I'd love to hear how this restaurant works."

The waiter rolled his eyes and walked away, muttering under his breath about "goddamn werewolves".

As we watched him walk away, Elizabeth said, "Well someone's not trying to get a good tip this evening!" Her beautiful face was indignant.

"Why don't you go get some food before Dmitri cleans them out?" I said, gesturing toward the fire.

"Aren't you going to get something to eat?"

"I'm going to order some passion fruit juice and I'll wait 'til they bring out the raw stuff to be cooked," I smiled.

Dmitri and Elizabeth both came back to the table at the same time, Dmitri with about two pounds of meat in various forms and Elizabeth with a human-sized portion. Dmitri immediately began to shovel food into his mouth while Elizabeth's eyes grew huge watching him.

"Don't worry, he always eats like that. Some wolves are more domesticated than others. Just keep your hands away from his mouth," I winked.

Dmitri glared at me but hardly slowed down. Once he stopped to swallow and take a drink of water, he said "It takes a lot of calories to supply our bodies. We're not like you, you damn
кровососущие монстры."

I laughed, while Elizabeth gave an uncertain smile. "It's okay, you can't expect manners out of a Rosyjski pies.

"What does that mean?"

"I called him a blood-sucking monster and he called me a Russian dog," Dmitri said. We both started to laugh while Elizabeth looked a little worried.

"It's okay, we're friends. We've been insulting each other for over a century now," I said with a grin.

"We go back a long way, but our people generally don't get along," Dmitri grinned. "Although we are in the middle of the longest period of peace in a thousand years."

"If you can call a Cold war 'peace'," I said.

Elizabeth gave me a questioning look. I opened my mouth to respond, but Dmitri spoke up instead.

"Wolves and vampires don't like each other much," Dmitri said, as he leaned over and drank my water. "Whoops, sorry. I thought that was my glass."

I was annoyed, but Dmitri had provided an excellent example. "I think it's because we hunt the same prey."

Dmitri's eyes flashed gold and his claws began to emerge. "We do not prey on people."

"Well, not like we do..." I began, but he cut me off by pounding the table.

Dmitri growled. "We don't do it at all!"

The color drained from Elizabeth's face and other diners started to stare at us. Dmitri took a deep breath.

"We don't prey on people at all. Not even a little bit."

Dmitri was obviously very upset by my response, so I figured I should stay quiet while he calmed down. Fortunately, Elizabeth followed my lead. I remained quiet while Dmitri's breathing slowed and his claws began to retract.

"You okay, Dima?" I said, using his nickname

He laughed. "Yeah, I'm going to be okay. It's just a sore point, you know." Then he seemed to remember he was talking to a human. "I'm sorry, my lady. I forgot my manners."

Elizabeth smiled. "That's okay. No harm no foul."

Dmitri realized he'd cleaned his plate. "I'm going back for seconds. Stosh, you want anything?"

I handed him my plate. "If I could get a couple of slices from that raw pork loin they just started and maybe one of those slices of tenderloin, I would appreciate it,"

He grinned at me. "The bloodier the better, right? I'll ask for a piece that can still moo."

As Dmitri walked away, Elizabeth looked at me questioningly. "What was up with that?"

I sighed. "Werewolves mate for life."

"Like regular wolves, right?"

"Yes," I said. "And they take it seriously. They like to fuck as much as anyone, but once a werewolf finds their mate, they settle down. They stop having sex with anyone else. There's no adultery or divorce for them."

Elizabeth smiled. "That sounds kind of nice."

"It is. However, the problem is, when someone loses their mate, they die soon after," I said.

Dmitri put a plate down in front of me, then took his own seat. "The problem is werewolves apparently taste delicious." He gave me an unblinking stare.

"I wouldn't know, I've never tasted a werewolf," I said, staring right back at him.

Elizabeth chuckled uncomfortably. "C'mon guys..."

Dmitri smiled and broke the staring contest. "You're a decent fellow, for a monster."

"And you're not half bad for a dog."

We all laughed.

Elizabeth asked, "So I guess a vampire once ate a werewolf's mate and that's why there's this conflict between your people?"

Dmitri snorted. "Once. Yeah. Once."

I spoke up. "I don't know how long ago it started, but we used to hunt each other. Things got pretty bad."

"So, it was like a vampire/werewolf war?" Elizabeth asked.

"It was mostly underground but some of us took advantage of human wars to kill each other without attracting attention," I said.

"And all of that is why Stosh came to America. Thank you, Napoleon." Dmitri said, raising his glass in an imaginary toast.

Elizabeth's eyes got big. "Oh my God! Was he a vampire or a werewolf?"

"Neither," Dmitri said. "But his war provided cover for our battles."

"So why did you come to America?"

I looked at Dmitri, and he nodded, giving me permission to speak.

"Because good people don't let other people hurt children."