All Comments on 'The White Specter Ch. 01'

A very good debut. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Thanks! Unfortunately, Literotica rejected the sequel because it contains non-consensual groping.

I cannot post part 2 bec it violates Litwrotica's terms. But I have been posting my works at Deviantart as Hellblazer00009.

The sequel of this submission is found here:

https://www.deviantart.com/hellblazer00009/art/White-Specter-Rookie-Superheroine-02-922244082

I've read part two. Could you not alter the story so instead of being hit with a tranquilizer dart White Spectre is hit with a paralysing dart? She would still be aware of everything but wouldn't be able to move, just moan. This would not alter the story too much. Would that get around the non-consensual groping?

@delightful_mind good suggestion. I'll do some revisions and resubmit the story

Nice, but a bit too fast-paced to the point that I think character development suffered a little. I liked the layout used to explain who this is and how it came to be, but the world-building is a little off. We hear about heroes just popping up out of nowhere, no rhyme or reason for it, which is fine, but I felt like it could have been more. Superhero stories are always fun, imo, but half of that is just getting into the whole world so we can understand the nature of things. To have gotten invisibility, phase shifting and super strength is a rather odd combination, yet there's nothing that really explains how it happens or why.

I liked how you used the fear and worry as the catalyst for change, but... why that weird combo of skills? I guess I'll have to read Part Two.....