The Wizard of O

"I guess so," said Dorothy as she put her hands on her hips. "Now my friends might have already had what it was they needed, and now they have it but that's because they always did, and you just showed them. I promise you that I don't already have what I'm hoping you can give me."

"And what is that?" said the Wizard, flashing a patronizing smile.

"I want to go home to my Auntie Em and Uncle Henry back in Kansas. Toto will come with me, too."

"Well," said the Wizard. "You're right. This isn't ... Kansas did you say? But home is where your heart is. If you just tap your heels together and say, 'There's no place like home,' you'll find yourself home soon enough."

Dorothy scowled. "Do you really think that'll work?"

The Lion stepped up to her, stood tall, and said, "You won't know unless you try."

She sighed and said, "Oh, all right." She tapped her heels together and said, "There's no place like home!"

"Do it again, this time with more feeling," said the Wizard.

Dorothy scoffed and said, "Do I have to?"

The Wizard nodded.

"Fine!" She took a deep breath, clicked her heels together one more time, and said, "There's no place like home!"

Nothing happened.

The Wizard looked at the Robot, the Lion, and the Scarecrow. "Maybe if we all said it together."

Dorothy clutched Toto to her chest.

"On three," said the Wizard.

"Dorothy and her friends - including the Wizard - all changed 'There's no place like home!' when the Wizard counted to three.

#

The next thing Dorothy knew, she felt a gentle slap on her cheeks, her Aunt Em and Uncle Henry looking over her. She opened her eyes and sat up. She realized she was lying in her bed. She stretched and yawned loudly.

Aunt Em looked at her and said, "That must've been some dream you were having. Would you like to tell us about it?"

"Was it all a dream? Really?" said Dorothy. "It all seemed so real."

Aunt Em stood up. "Of course it did," she said soothingly. Dorothy then proceeded to tell Aunt Em about her dream.

"Sounds realistic to me," said Aunt Em, mumbling something about talking scarecrows and lions. "Well, why don't you get out of bed and feed the chickens?"

"Yes, Auntie Em," said Dorothy slowly.

As she got out of the bed, she saw a pair of ruby red stilettos on the floor by her bed. She sat up and felt a lump under her pillow, too: it was a green dildo.

END