Thesis Topic 23 Ch. 04

PART 5

She hesitated just a little before crossing the restaurant's door. Immediately she felt the stares of the people in the nearby tables. She felt her knees weakening but continued her march to the hostess but before she arrived at her desk, the hostess walked to her and said politely but firmly.

"Sorry Miss, no sellers, and no beggars allowed."

Lillian felt deeply ashamed but resisted her urges to turn and ran away from that humiliation.

"No, ma'am. I am sorry about my attire. I... I am just looking for someone... Karen... Karen Smith... she is eating here with some co-workers."

"I see," said the hostess doubtfully.

"We have a dress code here. Why don't you wait outside, and I will see if she is still here. Ok?"

"Thank you, ma'am," said Lillian with relief. She felt out of place in the lobby of that nice restaurant.

She left the restaurant. The hostess was a young beautiful girl. She was dressed in an elegant dress but the cleavage and the length of the skirt were a bit daring and it was clear that she worked there as eye-candy for middle-aged businessmen. Lillian had always despised hostess, but now she felt so unworthy to even talk to this respectable girl.

After maybe 5 minutes the hostess came out and said. "Ms. Smith is eating here indeed. You are not allowed inside but her group is about to finish, she said that you should wait here for her."

Lillian simply nodded. She felt a new wave of humiliation and a new blow on her self-confidence, but there was nothing she could do about it.

She waited there patiently for maybe another 10 minutes. She knew she was running out of time, but there was nothing she could do about it.

Finally, a big group of businesspeople showed at the restaurant's door. They were 9, a couple looked like young secretaries, but the others were women and men in their early thirties that were dressed to impress; they looked successful and happy; it seemed they had just had a great time. A couple of men said goodbye.

"Congratulations again Karen. You are on the path of a great career. A 40% raise! I am really envious." One of them said.

"I think you even beat Patrick, as the fastest first promotion in the company," said the other guy, "See you later at the office."

Lillian was stunned to be hearing all that. Karen was already making more than she would earn in the internship if she hasn't screwed it, but now she will be even at a higher position. She felt jealousy and anger. She also felt deeply humiliated just thinking that at least until she finished paying her employee loan, Karen would be making more by the hour than she made the whole week.

Then her thoughts were interrupted by one of the secretaries. She was staring directly at her, "Look at that slut! Isn't it too early for street walking!" she said with anger thinking that a tramp like that degraded all women.

The loud insults attracted a lot of attention to Lillian, and soon all the group, including the departing guys were staring at her. Some were whistling or making dirty jokes.

Lillian felt trapped, but to everybody's surprise she managed to say, "Karen, please."

"Hey! She is my cousin Lilly!"

"Oh... I am so sorry Karen...we didn't know...she looks so... so different," said one of the secretaries, sincerely regretting her actions.

"Don't worry Sandy, she deserved it. I have told Lilly a thousand times that she shouldn't go out in that kind of outfit or nobody would take her seriously. But she still surprises me, I never had seen her wearing so little... well... I mean outside the apartment."

Lillian blushed. She felt betrayed but she understood that it must be pretty embarrassing for Karen to be greeted by her, in her current outfit, and in front of all of her co-workers. "I wouldn't even say hello, if it was me the one in the business outfit," she thought.

Karen was pretty amused with the whole encounter, and she wanted to take down Lillian another peg.

"As a matter of fact, why don't you help me. Maybe if she hears it from other women, she will understand. Maybe she needs a harsh treatment to change her ways."

Sandy was the first to talk. "Listen Lilly, there is something called underwear. You should wear it, unless you want everybody to think you are a slut." She said it in a patronizing tone that almost made Lillian explode, but a little voice inside her own head put her out of guard. "unless you want everybody KNOW that you are a slut," she repeated mentally to herself.

Lillian covered her tits with her arm.

"You should look up to your cousin. She is a really good example for you to follow, she is a successful woman, that gets everything with her brains not her looks. She has a very good taste for clothes, if you can't be like her, you should at least imitate her." Said another woman, maybe the one with the highest rank there.

Loren, a 32 accountant added, "Lilly, don't you know half your ass is on display? Are you a slut, or just want people to think you are a slut?"

Lillian was speechless. She didn't know how to defend herself. She felt dumb and ashamed. She felt miles below any of the women scolding her. She didn't dare to say anything to those respectable ladies, and her mind was blank.

She felt more humiliated that any day in her life, she wanted to be far away from there. She wanted to comfort herself. To caress her pussy to have the reward she needed to push away all those insults. Then she realized that for the first time she understood in first person the real meaning of the word bimbo. Here she was dressed like a slut, all dumb, and all of she could think of was getting off.

She babbled something, then she gathered all of her will power and said, "Karen. I am here to ask you to lend me some clothes."

"You say it for real, or are you only trying to make me happy."

Lillian rolled her eyes impatiently but she only managed to look more like the spoiled teenager everybody believed she was.

"No. It is for real. Please, can I have your room keys."

"No. Sorry. I let them in the office."

Lillian's face went blank. "I really need to change...Some jeans at least...," said Lillian, her voice faltering.

"I don't have my purse with me. Girls, could you lend me some spare, so Lilly could buy a pair of jeans."

A few minutes later they parted, leaving a stunned Lillian counting coins and 1's bills. She had around $12.

For a moment she felt defeated and thought about skipping her appointment with Ms. Barbara, but she realized that it would only make things more difficult. She was determined to shop for some jeans and a t-shirt, she wanted to be decently dressed as soon as possible.

She walked around in the business district for a few minutes. It was a very shameful walk, dressed as she was. She constantly saw people staring at her, pointing, even laughing. She felt more and more self-conscious after she was scolded by middle-aged women a couple of times. Her search was fruitless, the stores in the business district were mainly high-class ones, she couldn't afford even a handkerchief there. Not to mention that she would probably be thrown out before she could even reach the junior department.

She analyzed her possibilities; she could find inexpensive clothes in the thrift shop, but there was no guarantee. There weren't many clothes in her small size and she had lost precious minutes walking around, so she probably won't make it on time. There were several big supermarkets near her university that probably carried some inexpensive clothes, but she didn't want to get any closer to her college until she was more decently dressed. She walked towards downtown, and it looked like a good decision because she finally found a discounted store. It wouldn't be as inexpensive as a big supermarket, but she could probably find something.

She walked the aisles and found several racks with jeans at $14 and t-shirts from $9. She was desperate and started to look in a table full of clothes that said, "any item at $9.99." There were several blouses, jeans and skirts. She realized that she won't afford two items and decided that she should do something about her shorts, after all the words "You are showing half your ass," still rang in her head. She knew that her shorts were more shocking than her blouse.

After desperately searching she finally located one item that could fit her. It was a pair of jeans. They were stretch fit and very low ride. They reached down just to mid-calf. She didn't like them at all, but they were a lot better than her shorts. She bought them and asked for a bathroom to change.

After struggling with them she was able to put them on but not before taking off her small shorts, which were so small and shear that she was able to store them in her purse. She looked at the mirror. It was an improvement, but not a big one. Those jeans were made of very thin denim and looked almost like painted on her, and there was a lot of skin between the low ride jeans and the small t-shirt.

Lillian sighed, there wasn't much she could do about it. She though one more time on calling Ms. Barbara instead of going to the appointment but rejected the idea. She would have to go and fix this situation.

-0-

An hour later Lillian entered her thesis counselor office. Barbara was shocked by Lillian's look. She was always so business-like, so demure, so conservative. Her hair and makeup always looked neat and sophisticated, but now she looked like a young high school tramp. She had never seen a student dressed so trashy or so slutty. For a moment Barbara was speechless, so she made a hand motion signaling Lillian to sit.

All of this went not unnoticed to Lillian. She was blushing ashamed, she didn't expect to bring "Lilly" to "Lillian's" territory. She was forced by the circumstances and she didn't like it at all.

When Barbara finally got over the initial shock, she said, "Lillian, em," she was trying unsuccessfully to find the right words, but finally she decided to talk straight to the point, "Are you on drugs or something?"

"No! Of course no!" said Lillian avoiding eye contact and blushing. She felt outraged by the question but she realized that the true explanation was even worse. Still, she wanted to save some face and added, "I was wearing this trying to empathize with my subject and I didn't get the chance to change before our meeting. I am sorry."

She felt more at ease, even knowing what was coming.

"Lillian, you know that our professional job requires us to keep a distance from our subjects or patients. Dressing like her could help her open up but it weakens your position and could also introduce false inputs to your subject that could, in the end, alter the result of the study"

"I know," said Lillian, but she immediately regretted it, so she added, "This is risky but I was having too much trouble making her open up."

Barbara was disappointed and her face showed it, but decided to let it go. "Well, that is your decision, not a very professional one, but your decision. I will, however, require you to state that in your thesis so the readers could judge if they trust the results or not given the bias introduced by your empathizing technique."

Lillian blushed with rage and shame. That bitch was forcing her to write in the opening of her thesis that she dressed like a slut for the interviews. In her field, it was very common to analyze the thesis of collages and job candidates.

She wanted to end the meeting as soon as possible so she said, "She was reluctant to give her studio photos but I finally got them, I store them here and of course I edited out the faces as she requested."

"Of course," said Barbara.

Barbara took the memory and put it in her computer.

Lillian felt very uncomfortable and wanted to leave right then.

"I need to go."

"No please stay. I need to see if I can read them properly. It will only take a few minutes, and we need to talk after I see them"

Ms. Barbara started slowly browsing the photos, looking at each of them for a good deal of time.

All the while, Lillian was nervously fidgeting in her chair. Just the thought that her teacher was looking at naked pictures of her was making her burn with shame, but it was also awakening her arousal. These days her pussy seemed to be always ready to spark. She glanced discreetly to her crouch, only to find an embarrassing wet spot. It seemed now that her pussy was just waiting for the slightest provocation to drench her jeans which recently happened several times a day.

It seemed like an eternity, Lillian was trying to guess which photo was Ms. Barbara looking at, just based on her facial expressions. She was in complete silence but from time to time she arched an eyebrow or blinked. A knock on the door startled Lillian and interrupted Ms. Barbara's work.

"Come in," and turning to see Lillian she said, "Sorry Lillian, but I have to sign some papers, it would just take me a couple of minutes.

It was a male student.

"Hi," he said looking at Lillian. Then turned to see Ms. Barbara and said, "Hi Ms. Barbara, this is my application, if you agree to endorse me, please sign here and here."

Then Ms. Barbara turned her 22" widescreen monitor that now showed the first photo of Lillian's set, so both Karl and Lillian could see it.

"Yes, I already told you that I will endorse you."

She started signing the papers while the student's eyes were glued on the screen and Lillian felt completely embarrassed. It was a student of her own university and he was looking at her, naked and cuffed on the screen!

Ms. Barbara closed the folder but before giving it to the Student she said, "Karl, maybe you can help us. Do you think these photos are from some pornographic studio or are they amateur?"

The student felt a little bit nervous and turned to see Lillian who could not avoid to blush. He started looking at each photo, pausing at each one for comments.

"Well, she is really hot, and I am not a photography expert but the lighting looks professional, can we see more?"

Another call interrupted Ms. Barbara and she said, "Yes, you can come in Katy, I really need my coffee."

When Katy entered she was shocked by the image on Ms. Barbara's monitor, "It is Lillian's research subject, please be discreet. But you can help us too, we want to know if this is really a professional photo shot."

"Could this be worst?" thought Lillian whose face was still red.

"You should relax Lillian. We are all professional, there is nothing wrong about looking at porn from a professional perspective, and is not as if it were you on the screen," said Ms. Barbara and laughed.

Lillian nervously laughed along and tried to detach herself from the situation.

Everybody was trying to make professional sounding comments even Lillian added some commentaries on the setting, but when they reached the last one. The one where she was sucking Paul's cock (although her face was blocked), Lillian was overwhelmed. It was too shameful for her to see her Teacher, a college secretary and a fellow student analyzing her pornographic photo.

"Wow! Said Karl. She is really good, look at her pussy... Er vagina, she is extremly aroused, there is even a wet spot on the chair. Can you zoom it?"

Ms. Barbara obeyed to Lillian's shame. There it was her pussy in a larger-than-life-size photo. The camera that Megan used had been of very high resolution.

Then Katy that was getting more and more into the activity (anything was better than real work), added. "Well, the photos are high resolution for sure. And she must really be a porno model because look, she doesn't have any stubble, she probably had electrolysis to remove all her pubic hair, only the worst sluts would do that."

Lillian's heart was pounding fast, but fortunately, it all ended as suddenly as it started. Ms. Barbara said, "Thank you both for your help. Please leave me alone with Lillian."

"Ok. Lillian, it seems that you complied with my request. I think that we can meet next Monday and talk about the future of your project. I am even open to helping you get an extension if you need it."

Lillian breathed satisfied. It was her first real accomplishment, next week she would put her life back on track.

"Thank you Ms. Barbara, I'll be here."

"Just one more thing Lillian. One of your classmates claimed that he had interviewed Carly Fiorina, Sherry McCoy, and Amy Pascal among others. He sent me a bunch of photos of these famous ladies with him as proof that his interviews were real. I recruited a photoshop expert from the art department to see if the photos were real or fake. He made his analysis and they were real.

I would like to send him these photos too. I don't think they have any problem, but I want to have a professional opinion to back me in case of any controversy. You know, I already burned once," she said with a smile.

Lillian felt jealousy for the guy interviewing her former idols.

"So, do you have any problem if I send these pictures to the expert? I promise that the privacy of your subject will be protected."

Lillian hesitated, but she was so happy with the results of the meeting that she didn't want to risk them in any way.

"Yes, of course. Just no copies please, I promised my subject."

"Don't worry about that. I will keep a copy, and send another to Mr. Jackson. He will promptly destroy them after the analysis."

Lillian realized that there was no way to know, but she preferred not to think too much about it.

"Ok. Ms. Barbara, see you on Monday."

"And Lillian. Please don't bring your empathizing attire next time." she said with a smile, while Lillian blushed.

Part 5-b

Lillian's night was pretty uneventful. She had to be naked in the apartment but it helped her conceal to Karen the fact that she already had a nude photoshoot. She had taken off her new jeans and hid them under the stairway outside the apartment for fear of Megan making her exchange them for another outfit that would be a lot skimpier.

Megan interpreted Lillian's apparent happiness as a signal that she was coming to terms with her incipient porno model career. Karen was puzzled but thought that maybe Lillian got some good news at school. At some point, Lillian approached Karen.

"Karen. We need to talk."

"About what?"

"It is something long. Can we have lunch together tomorrow? It is very important to me."

She needed to recruit her to help her get out of Megan's control and to make Megan forget about all that porno career craziness. Megan was hearing from afar and she interpreted it as just the contrary. Lillian will announce her cousin about her career choice.

"OK. Meet me at 2:00 PM, there is a McDonald's just around the corner of the restaurant where you saw me last time. Try to dress decently, I don't want to be kicked out."

Lillian swallowed her pride and said. "Thanks, Karen, I'll be there."

The Call

At her morning break, she checked her cell phone and found a lost call and a message. "Call me! It is urgent," both came from the same unknown number.

She dialed. It was probably Karen calling from a new phone or something.

"John Jackson here," it was a male voice. The name was vaguely familiar.

"Hi Mr. Jackson, I have a call from you on my cell phone at 11:40?," then the name "Mr. Jackson" hit her like a train.

"Yes, Lillian. I work in the art department of the university."

"Oh. You must be the one helping Ms. Barbara," said Lillian trying to stay cool.

"Well, I have some findings and I wanted to share them with you beforehand"

"Yes?" she said trying to conceal the trembling in her voice. "What could go wrong? There is no way he could have something or is it?

"Well, the photos are professional indeed. The camera used, the settings of the camera were all right, and it indicates that there was professional lighting used, because the flash was off, and."