All Comments on 'Vampire Micheal Ch. 02'

@ SchlockTheMonkey:

I actually think the sloppiness helps, because it makes it come across as exactly what it is: a true, gut fantasy.

It's almost like he dictated it into a tape recorder, while he was jerking off...then transcribed it really, really quickly, with no edits. The effect is to really capture a sex fantasy on paper...actually not an easy thing to do.

So while I doubt he is screwing up on purpose, he might be. Anyway, I like no-shame-at-all honesty of it. It reminds me of 70s European horror/sexploitation films...

I will continue reading it.

That has to be the only good thing about this story, seeing that in the last chapter you said things like "thrust as deep as possible in her clit".

Come on a fourteen year old boy knows that that is wrong, if you are going to write about erotica at least know your way around a woman's body.

The switches in tense, between first and third person narration, the spelling and grammatical errors... it's like the author made an extra effort to screw up. I'm stunned by how sloppy this is.