All Comments on 'Vengeance Gone Wild Ch. 01'

A good start but I strongly urge you to collaborate with a good editor who can help you with your grammar, use of passive voice, and general writing style.

You have a fine magination and great start here, but you need to improve your storytelling to successfully engage your readers.

Sadly, I was extremely disappointed with not only your deplorable grammar, but also your ability to write using cogent sentences!

Conversely, I could see tremendously fantastic opportunities for your plotline. Perhaps you should remember that those who "win" in the stock market or at a race track, and those who drop out of one college but graduate from another, usually learn how to at least competently create at least a phrase, and more typically, A sentence!

Perhaps you might consider enrolling in one of the many FREE writing classes offered online?