Vicki's Story Ch. 05

As a start I figured some snooping might give me a few clues. If I could find out what she had been saying about me to her friend Lisa, it might give me a heads up.

I still had access to Livvy's, email so I decided to hack back in and see what she had been up to. The moment I got in it was obvious that she had been talking to Lisa, about our relationship, and that Lisa, had been to stay with Livvy. It just didn't make sense, was she an ex lover? If so, did they sleep together, did Livvy, still love Lisa... Was that why she never fully committed to us? So many questions and I admit, jealousy and insecurity tugged at my heart.

Having chosen this pathway, it was impossible to separate some emotions. Was it because I was in transition, and unsure of where I was going with it. Was it because Lisa was her real love, and she had just been filling in time with me? Was it simply the medication, the doctors warned me about wild mood swings from the hormones.

All of those questions and thoughts chipped away at my confidence. Like acid, they eroded my self belief. I still hadn't met this Lisa. I did some research, and found her easily enough. She had several social media pages. She was a very attractive woman and I could see why Livvy was interested.

I needed to know where I stood. I just couldn't do it by asking. That would alert Livvy to how I found out.

I needed to catch them together. That way, there could be no accusations about me spying on her.

As I scrolled through the email threads, it was apparent, that Lisa was going to spend the weekend with Livvy.

A plan hatched. I would wait until Lisa was at Livvy's place. I would turn up unannounced and maybe catch them at it. The thought of that scared me because, if that was the case, it would be the final death knell for Livvy and I.

Friday night, I jumped in my car and drove to Toledo. I parked up the street and walked to her apartment. Her car was in her park so, she was home. There were lights on in her apartment but, was she alone?

I hit her buzzer. She answered directly. "Hello, who is it?"

"Hey Livvy, it's me. I was hoping we could catch up. I would like to talk to you?"

It was quiet for a few moments before she answered. "Yes, a talk would be good. Come on up."

It was another ten minutes before the buzzer went and she let me in.

As I walked in, I noticed Lisa sitting on the sofa, glass of wine in hand. Livvy slipped into my arms and we kissed. A warm succulent juicy kiss. As we parted, she said. "Sorry, we aren't alone. I have my friend Lisa staying with me."

Lisa stood up and walked over. "Hi, nice to finally meet. I've heard so much about you, it feels like we are already friends."

"Well, I would like to say the same but... Livvy has never mentioned you before."

Livvy grimaced before saying. "I'm sorry, Lisa and I are old friends. We have known each other our whole lives. We were neighbors, friends, we even went to school together. I should have introduced you earlier."

Lisa slipped into my arms being careful not to spill her wine. She kissed my cheek. "You are every bit as pretty as Livvy said. I am jealous."

"How much do you know about me?" I spluttered. All my prearranged speech now worthless.

"She knows everything Vicki." Livvy muttered guiltily.

"Wow, you know everything about me and this is the first I've heard about you."

"Vicki, it's my fault. I should have got you two together ages ago." Livvy said.

"Yes, you should." Lisa said with a playful laugh. "I've been dying to meet you Vicki."

"Were you lovers?" I asked nervously.

Lisa broke into a hearty laugh. "Lovers, god no. We're friends. I do love Livvy but, oh god, the thought of living with her scares me. One of us would kill the other."

Livvy giggled. "We are too alike in some ways."

Lisa interrupted. "We are best friends."

Livvy got us wine and we sat together. "Where do you live Lisa?" I asked.

"Cleveland. I work for a small startup."

"You just came over for the weekend then?"

"Vicki, I came over because Livvy has been crying in my ear for the last month. I came to support her."

"Lisa, stop it." Livvy yelped. "I have done no such thing."

"Oh, you have so. It's nothing to be ashamed of, this breakup has hurt. Be truthful."

Livvy, who's eyes had started to tear up sighed, "Don't listen to her. She tells lies to embarrass me."

There was a little silence as we all tried to figure out what to say. It was Lisa who said. "I might go down to that little Chinese place and get us some dinner. You guys can talk."

As she walked out the door, Livvy asked. "Why did you come?"

"I came because I wanted to sort out what was happening with us. I still want there to be an us but, lately it seems like that wasn't going to be possible."

"I want the same." Livvy said softly. "I do love you Vicki and I would dearly love to find a way to make this work."

"How do we do it?" I replied. "I know you have a lot invested in your job, I totally get that and I'm not trying to derail that."

She screwed up her face in her cute little expression. "Thank you, I appreciate you understanding."

"Can we make a go of a long-distance relationship? I mean I'm happy to drive back most weekends. I could come Friday night and stay till Sunday, or even Monday morning."

"I could do the same, we could share the driving. It would give me a chance to catch up with your parents."

"The only sticking point for me is us. I want to be able to tell everybody. We no longer work together so, there's no reason to hide."

"Vicki, I'm a coward. I'm not brave like you. Nobody but my closest friends know about my sexuality. I have tried to come out before but, it's always the same. I run out of courage."

"You expect us to stay in the closet?"

She nodded. "Vicki, your folks are amazing. Mine aren't like that. They are religious to the extreme. Once I tell them, my life will change. I know it sounds ridiculous but, I have real fear and that extends to my job. They might accept me, there are laws to protect me, but prejudice is inbuilt. We all judge, I'll never get the same opportunities I would as a single, heterosexual woman."

"You're going to live your whole life in fear."

"No, not my whole life. Once I'm partner, they can't hold me back."

"I think you're being unfair. Geoff and Larry are pretty stand up guys."

"They are but, clients and others aren't. I'm not ready. I hope I will be one day. Can't we just take our time? What's the rush?"

I shrugged, I couldn't explain it. My life had moved so quickly, I wanted this part of my life to move as well.

Lisa came barging in with her arms full of boxes. "I didn't know what you liked, so I got lots."

We ate in a moody awkward silence. It got to me. In the end, I said "I have to get going, it's getting late."

"I thought you'd be staying?" Livvy sighed.

"You only have one bed, I assume you were going to share with Lisa."

"I can sleep on the sofa." Lisa mumbled, in a teasing sort of challenge. It wasn't like we would be able to talk or make love while she was there. At least I had met Lisa, who seemed really nice. Now I knew about their relationship.

It still left me feeling uneasy, and no, I couldn't explain why.

"Nope, I gotta go. Have a fun weekend."

It was stupid, I didn't understand why I was so upset. It just made me angry. I got home and went straight to bed. I curled up in a ball and cried. Life was definitely feeding me lemons at the moment.

Work became my focus. I worked harder and harder. I was now Constance's most valuable employee. I was doing so well, I didn't see how she could afford to get rid of me. I know it shitted her, she hated that I had been able to walk in and improve her business. I saw her pushing the other managers harder.

You know what they say and, they say it for a reason. It's true. Success breeds success.