All Comments on 'Weekend in Biloxi'

...in the story. You can't just abruptly stop the story in the middle of a scene like that. There's nothing wrong with breaking your story up into multiple chapters but you at least need to try and find a natural pause in the story where you can plausibly end one chapter and set up the next.<p>

Where you ended this one, nope, it didn't work. It was just a sudden interruption. Before you ended this first chapter you at least needed to finish the dance floor scene with the stranger. It wouldn't have taken much, either. If you were in a hurry to finish the chapter all you needed to do was to just include another couple of sentences to finish that scene. With just another couple moments of narration you could've easily brought this first scene either to a graceful close or to a killer cliffhanger set up for Chapter II. Just a few additional sentences, that's it, and you would've had a proper conclusion to the chapter.<p>

Loved the rest of it though and since it's your first story I went ahead and gave you a top score based solely on what you wrote rather than knock your score down to reflect the poor job of properly finishing the chapter.<p>

Overall it was really good. Love that woman on the dance floor. Love how she dresses and I love how she lets go. In the future though just take care to treat your readers better. Don't be so quick to pull the plug. Finish a scene before you call it a day, that's all...

Story. In fact you could have written it couldn't you. As for the writer? Well good luck in your new lifestyle. I would call you a slut but you would take that as complement wouldn't you? But David is your master now and I guess you will enjoy the gangbangs he will get you to do. I guess your dead husband would be turning in his grave. But you don't talk about him do you? Did you ever love him? I think not. Anyway enjoy your life as afuck toy for your new man.

...understand where I might like this story. I'm sure you're well aware though that it would've been very different had I written it. You know better than that. You're correct though in your basic thinking. Of course I enjoyed this story. See, call me crazy but I tend to read stories I think I'll enjoy. I also tend to only offer public comment on stories I enjoy. From reading the opening description, including the genre, I usually know going in what a story will be about; same as you.<p>

Again, call me crazy but I simply skip stories I know I probably won't enjoy. If the story will contain subject matter I know I don't like I spend zero time on those stories. I have better things to do with my time than to purposefully blow it on things I don't enjoy.<p>

Always make me wonder though about you and your type, ie, people who continue to seek out stories you know you won't enjoy. You seek them out, you spend time reading them and then you post the same comment every time, throughout the genre. Of course you always do so anonymously too, which is one other area where we differ.<p>

Bottom line, I'll never understand why you don't just stick to stories you know you'll enjoy. Do you also go out of your way to only buy Britney Spears CDs? Do you pass on all other movies and instead plunk your money down only on bad slasher films?<p>

Seriously. I know you're not dumb. I know you read the subject heading, and the little category blurb. I know you usually know what these stories will be about before you read them, especially when they're from familiar authors. Nobody's tricking you with false advertizing. Still though you read these stories anyway and then you post the same comment you've already posted a thousand other times.<p>

I'll never understand why you do that to yourself. At this point I'm past the point of being pissed about it. I'm now seriously curious about it. If you'd like to have a civil discussion about why you do this, please, I'm all ears. We can do it here or if you'd prefer you can write me at stevieraygovan@yahoo.com to talk about it away from the board. I'm not joking. I'd like to discuss it with you.

I've given a top mark for this, even though Part 2 is a little disappointing in the sudden way it ends. But I'm thinking there'll be more so we'll wait and see. Part 1 was top notch - well written and well paced. The whole dancefloor sequence was both vivid and convincing.

And well said StevieRay - I also get the fools who deliberately seek out this genre then give us the same tired, old comments. It stings at first, then just becomes annoying. After a while you learn to ignore it, specially if you're getting encouragement from others as Hotryder is.

Good luck, keep writing!

WHY DID YOU LEAVE US HERE?

That was hot!