Welfare Moms

Undid the flap with shaking hands, pulled out a pile of papers. A letter, separate from the rest. Opened it, pulled it out, barely believing what I read.

"Congratulations! You are a rural needs-based admission, on the waiting list but expect to be part of our next semester's incoming class."

I was crying, not believing it, not sure it was real.

Tank held me, crying too.

"I'll never pay for it!"

Tank took the letter, read the rest.

"Girlie, you have a full ride, a scholarship by an old Texas alumni! For exceptional rural students, showing the best civic responsibility blah blah. A monthly stipend!"

She showed me the amount; not much, but I'd been stretching less than that for years, I could make that work.

Then it hit me.

"What have I done! I'm pregnant! This will never work! What have I done!" The shock of my dream come true, then taken away! It hit me like a kick in the gut.

Tank took the paper from me, set it on the table. Took my face in both hands, put her nose to mine.

"What have you done?! You have become the first Welfare Mom to go to Harvard! You rock, bitch! You are gonna become an ass-kicking ball-busting lawyer, fuck some rich entitled trust fund kids, fuck those stuffy professors and their wives. Fuck them all, anybody you want, use them, take what you want! Pop out four or five more brats while you're at it.

"Make them accept you as you are, a Texas homegrown baby-making bitch with brains. Let some faculty spouse babysit your brats, go to the top of your class, graduate with your belly sticking out, in their faces!

"Then show the world what we have to face here in Texas, no jobs, no future. Tell them what we really need! That we're not lazy and stupid!"

My head was spinning. "How? I can't afford childcare, not in Massachusetts, not with that stipend!"

Tank shuffled through the papers, found the one she wanted.

"See? Here! Students have free daycare, full medical! Not gonna cost you shit for that!"

Rocked again. "I can have the baby in a hospital? Somebody will take care of it while I'm at class? Get all his shots, all his checkups done right there?"

Tank hugged me, let me cry it out, let me accept that I could be exactly who I was and also be a Harvard graduate one day.

"You are going to Harvard, sweetie. That's final. But promise me one thing. You will never forget your Tank, your bestie!"

More bawling, both of us now.

"Tank! I love you! You are the best friend I could ever have! And you will come visit me, see my babies, get Mandy to watch yours, watch me graduate! Fuck some of those Harvard pricks!"

"I love you too, college girl!"

And I did exactly that.