You are Definitely Going to Hell Ch. 04

"Rob Johnson plus one," I say.

"You're not on here," he says, hardly bothering to look.

"He better way be," a female voice says from behind me. Both Len and I turn to see who spoke.

Len's mouth drops open as we come face to face with two brick shit house security men. Right behind them are Anna Clark and Kimberly Paige.

"Anna, Kimberly," I say like I know both of them.

"Hello, Rob, it's a pleasure to meet you finally, and I must say that Lisa didn't tell us how handsome you are." She looks at the poor guy on the door. "Are you going to stand there looking an ass or let us in? Anna says in a very forceful voice.

The guy quickly unhooks the guide rope, and the four of us walk in. "So, who's your friend Rob?"

"Sorry, girls, this is my flatmate from Uni, Len."

"You're not the big fan that didn't recognize Lisa?" Kimberly asks with too much enthusiasm.

Again Len looks at me. "Don't look at me; Bec tells everyone the story."

We finally get into the club and see the press standing on the dance floor and the girls sitting on chairs on the stage. There's a huge commotion when we walk in because they have been waiting for Kimberly and Anna to arrive.

We walk to the bar and order a couple of pints, and the girls walk up on stage. I see Anna whisper something into Bec's ear. She looks at her, smiles, and then looks over to where I am. I smile back, but I'm guessing that Bec doesn't want to give me unwanted attention. Len and I go and find a good table for when the guys get in, and that still gives us a good view of the press conference.

There's a flurry of last-minute questions, and I wonder why they even bother to ask half of them, but the girls smile and answer them anyway.

Finally, the press is ushered out, and the girls vacate the stage.

"Rob," Len says. "Does Bec look out of it to you?"

"It wouldn't surprise me. I have some strange phone calls," I reply.

"Shit, man. She's lost some weight as well."

"Yeah, she's not looking right," I say.

The girls are ushered upstairs to the VIP area. Which normally is the balcony area, where you can look down on the dance floor. I see a familiar blond-headed woman walk over to me. She is not the blond-headed woman I would have liked, but still, she's great to look at.

"Rob, would you like to bring your gorgeous ass upstairs? The girls would like to meet you." We both go to get up." Sorry Len, just Rob." I follow Kimberly leaving Len to guard our seat. He looks a little put out, but I expect he will get his moment later.

I'm impressed. The Embassy club has changed the balcony into more of a lounge area. I wonder if it's just for tonight. I walk up to stand beside Kimberly. "Girls..... Girls.... LADIES," she finally shouts. All the heads turn to look my way. "Girls, I want to introduce you to Mr. Rob Johnson."

There are a lot of sudden smiles, and they all get to their feet and come over to kiss me. I don't think there's a part of my face that's not been kissed. I recognize most of them from the Playboy mags I now have. Yes, since I've known Bec, I have taken an interest.

I look over to see the only person that didn't come over and greet me. Everyone seems to instantly get out of my way as I walk over to Bec, who's sat on a sofa drinking. "Hey, Bec," I say.

She looks at me through eyes that seem to want to close. "Well if it's not Rob. Hellooooo, Rob," Bec says, putting her hand on my knee. "I think I need another bath," she says.

I wrap my arms around her, "Bec, what are you doing to yourself?"

"Dulling the pain," she says in my ear. "Rob...I lo..." There's a loud noise outside as the crowds are let in.

"Okay, girls, smile." Someone says, but I'm only focused on one person.

Then someone shouts, "Lisa, Tommy Lee's here with half his concert."

"Oh, fuck. Rob, you better go," Bec says.

"Okay," I whisper. "Remember, I love you too." That seems to have gotten through to her, and she looks at me for what seems like an eternity but was, in reality, about ten seconds. An arm grabs me and pulls me over to another sofa, where Kimberly draws me into an embrace. "Kiss me," she says.

So what can a nineteen-year-old do? I kiss her. At first, I can tell she is putting on a show, but as I kiss her, I feel her reaction. She pulls me in tighter, and her tongue pushes into my mouth, looking for its own playmate. For a moment, our tongues entwine, performing their own little dance. I hear her groan as her hand holds my head in place.

We part lips just a fraction, and she looks into my eyes. "Shit," she says, as a smile spreads across her face. Then there's a cheer and catcalls as we look around to see a load of guys dressed in too much denim, looking like they needed a shower, appear at the top of the stairs.

"You better go, but I need to check that the first kiss wasn't a fluke." She comes back for a second kiss.

Kimberley gets off my lap. "When did she get on my lap?" I ask myself. I glance across at Bec, and someone who I presume is Tommy Lee is trying to swallow her whole. "That is not kissing," I say to someone watching. I get up and walk to the stairs.

I get back to the table and sit down. "Wondered where you had gone," Charlie said.

Len turns to me, "Is that Bec's lipstick?"

"Nah, it's Kimberly Paige's. When Tommy Lee turned up, she pulled me away from Bec and made out with me."

"Yeah? You dog. How was it?" Len grins at me.

"I think she got a bit more than she bargained for," I say, smiling.

"Fuck, Rob. You are an animal."

I shake my head and shout, "Whose round?" The whoops go up, and Clive disappears with Andy.

I lean across toward Charlie. "I'm worried about Bec; she's off her face up there."

"Rob, you need to let her take her own path. She won't thank you for interfering," Sharon says before Charlie can open her mouth.

The drinks turn up just as Charlie says, "Come on, Rob, dance with us." The girls get up, and I follow them to the dance floor. It takes a couple of tunes to shake my funk off, but I finally get into it as the girls try their best to rub against me.

Michelle comes up and wipes the lipstick off with both her thumbs. Then after Charlie checks Michelle's work, Karen and Sharon kiss me on the cheek, leaving their mark.

Len joins us, followed by Clive and Andy. Nick is already dancing with some other girl.

I hear my name being called and look up to see a group of Playboy girls hanging over the VIP lounge. I wave them down, but it doesn't look like their security will let them. That's until Anna Clark and Kimberly insisted.

I get a tap on my back, "Is there any way you guys can dance around the girls so they're not bothered."

"Sure, well, give it a try." I got the guys together and told them what was happening. We spread out, and a large group from upstairs joins us.

Kimberley loops her arms around me and whispers in my ear. "It's getting a bit much up there. Tommy Lee has just fucked Lisa over the food table, and then one of the groupies joined them."

"I'm worried about Bec," I reply.

"We all are, honey," she says with a sad smile. She pulls me closer and comes in for a kiss. "You are very kissable. Have you been invited to the mansion yet?"

"Yeah, I will try to get over during Easter next year."

"Make sure you do, and maybe Bec can share a little."

"Sounds good," I say.

The girls manage to get a couple of dances in before the dance floor starts to get crowded with people trying to get closer to them. The security moves in, and they are whisked away.

We went back to the table and had a drink. Then some girls scream as the band appears on the balcony waving and throwing drinks over the crowd.

Charlie points up after another group scream. I look up and see Bec with Tommy Lee right next to her. He says something, and she scans the place. She finally spots me and points me out.

I'm not sure whether to look away, but for a second, my eyes lock with his. It's like he growls at me and then kisses Bec full on the lips. I shake my head and lean into Len. "What an arse," I say.

"I'm sorry, mate, but that's not the Lisa Lovegood I know," Len shouts over the music.

"Yeah, you are probably right." I breathe out heavily.

"Come on, you, back on the dance floor," Charlie says.

We go back, and the DJ puts a sixties mix on, and we lose ourselves in The Twist, Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep, and The Beatles Twist and Shout. He brings it back up to date with Doctor and the Medics. We even have a routine for Spirit in the Sky.

Charlie taps me on the shoulder and points to the balcony again. I wasn't going to look again, but I looked up as a reflex action and saw they were leaving. I saw Bec look over at Charlie and me. She sneaks behind the bodyguard and quickly comes over.

She throws her arms around Charlie and whispers in her ear. Charlie holds her up and replies in Bec's ear, and Bec nods. She then wraps her arms around my neck waving at the guys and then she pulls back and looks at me. She smiles and looks over my shoulder as her bodyguard realizes his mistake and rushes over.

Bec mouths, "Sorry," she leans in and kisses me before she is lifted up and carried out.

******

It's just under a week since the Playboy tour to the Embassy, and I am getting ready to pick up my September copy of Playboy. This month has Bec's and our first meeting spread out on a storyboard for the world to see. This is my last week before returning to university.

I come down the stairs and grab my keys on my way out to get my copy. Just as I reach for the front door, the phone rings. I take a deep breath and turn to answer it.

"Hello, 73679 Robert speaking, how can I help you?" I say in my posh phone voice.

"Hi, mate," Len says. I'm sure he's trying to suppress a laugh.

"Hi, Len. What's up?"

"Mate, have you got your copy of Playboy yet?"

"No, your call stopped me at the door."

"Good, I thought I'd ring to pre-warn you that there's a second story. The title is Lisa Lovegood's in Love, and it's not with Tommy Lee."

"Shit, where's that come from?"

"According to the reporter, he was at the Embassy and saw everything. The good part is that it doesn't give your full name, just Rob."

"For fucks sake, how did he get that in there so quickly?" I take a deep breath. "Okay, mate, thanks. Give me an hour, and I'll call you back."

I hang up and walk to the door. As I open the front door, I'm greeted by a huge delivery van backed into the old Peters' place. I don't see much happening, so I jump in the car and make my way to the nearest newsagent.

I walk into Stevenson's News Agent and am greeted by Mr. Stevenson himself. "Good morning Robert. How are you this fine morning?"

"Hello, Mr. Stevenson. I'm good. How's business?"

"Can't grumble. Especially with this month's Playboy. I've sold every copy and had to order another ten."

I laugh, "Yeah, they had a promotional thing at the Embassy last week, and there's a piece about it."

"Oh, that explains a lot. I have your monthly copy here." He turns to get it out of the pigeonhole. "It's funny. I didn't have you down as someone who regularly buys such a magazine."

I smile a bit awkwardly. "I only buy it because of the lady on the front cover."

His eyes look down at a picture of Beck. "Ahhh, what does Miss Lovegood have that all the other models don't."

"She is one of my best friends. We bumped into each other last year and hit it off. We've been best buddies ever since."

"Really? You know this lady?"

"Yeah, she's even been in here."

He laughs in disbelief. Then the memory of me coming in with her seems to hit him. "Was she the one in the baseball hat? Pretty girl with a great smile." He looks at the picture again. "She didn't have all that makeup on, though."

I laugh again. "Yeah, she only wears that in her photo shoots. My flat-mate in Edinburgh, who's a big fan of hers, he sat across from her for about half an hour and didn't recognize her."

"No, I bet she found that funny."

"Yeah, she tells everyone." I pick up a Daily Express as well. "I'll have this one as well," I say, holding it up. Mr. Stevenson rings it up, and I make my way home.

I make my way home with Bec looking up at me from my front seat. I cover her up with the Express; she's far too distracting. As I drive up the road toward the house, I notice a Ford Fiesta parked across our driveway, blocking my way.

Stopping just a little short, I notice a blond-haired middle-aged woman talking to one of the removal men. She spots me and jogs over. I can't help but admire the swing of her hips and the bounce of her more than ample mantelpiece, and to top it all; she has a great smile with shoulder-length blond hair. Why did she have to be blond?

"Good morning," she says as I wind down my widow. "I'm not blocking you in, am I?"

"Yeah, but no worries. I'm Rob, Rob Johnson, and I am guessing you're our new neighbor," I say more confidently than I thought possible.

She gives me an appreciative smile as she leans on the open window ledge giving me a sneak preview of the treasure below. "Hello, Rob Johnson, I am Kathleen Gregory, and yes, I'm moving in with my twin daughters Denise and Cheryl."

"Oh, your daughters were a couple years below me at school," I say. I remember the guys drooling over them. To be honest anything with tits and a fanny was drooled over by them.

Mrs. Gregory's eyes wander from my face down my chest, then focus on something, her smile slips a bit before she looks back at me knowingly. I looked down to where she was looking and see a smiling Lisa Lovegood looking back. I quickly pull the Express back on top of my Playboy, "Sorry about that."

She touches my shoulder and smiles. "Honey, I've seen plenty worse than that in my time. Don't worry about it. I'll move my car and get out of your way."

"Thank you, Mrs. Gregory." I can't help but notice that her smile doesn't quite reach her eyes. "Great first impression, Rob," I say to myself.

She walks to the driver's side of her car and gets in. Before I know it, she's parked on the other side of the road, and I'm parking my car on the drive. As I get out and walk to the front door, I wave to thank her again.

I quickly put my keys on the hook and sit at the breakfast bar to read what this guy wrote. I scan the content spread around the picture of Bec. There it is in bold blue lettering, "Lisa Lovegood is in love, but it's not with Tommy Lee."

"Shit," I say. I open the cover and look down to see its page. "There we are, pages 25-26."

I quickly open the correct page and start to read.

'As the assigned reporter to this tour, I find myself in the Kent town of Ashford. We are nearly finished with this tour, with only two more dates on the south coast of England. I was settling in for another boring, tedious night when I noticed this guy walk in. What caught my eye was that he arrived with Anna Clark while holding Kimberly Paige's hand. They parted with a polite kiss on the cheek.

I walked over to talk to the guy at the door. He informed me of the guy's name, and I recognize it straight away. This guy whose first name is Robert, is the real life person that's featured in the storyboard that follows this article. This piqued my interest because I was the reporter who found the original press report on which the story is based.

I positioned myself to get a good view of the night's proceedings. Shortly before the waiting crowd outside is let in, Kimberly and Anna escort the guy I now know as Rob upstairs. It's not often the girls take much interest in anybody, but for some reason, every girl wanted to greet him after he was introduced. As a male of the species, I must concede that Rob is a fine specimen.

Once the fuss had died down, Rob walked over and sat next to our very own Lisa Lovegood. He automatically slipped an arm around her, and although her face looked unimpressed, her body language said something totally different. They spoke for just a minute.

It wasn't this interaction that caught my eye, but the look Lisa gave him when our very own Kimberley Paige moved him away from her in a rush as Tommy Lee himself strode up the stairs. Kimberley pulled Rob to the nearest couch and started to make out with him. A second look from Lisa confirmed what I saw the first time, only broken when Tommy Lee came into sight.

Once Tommy Lee was busy with Miss Lovegood, Kimberley escorted our man of the moment downstairs and away from any possible harm. I must add that Kimberley looked very flushed after her interaction with Rob. I get the feeling she got a taste of what Lisa has experienced.

Throughout the night, the interactions between the girls and Rob continued, again, something I've not seen on this tour. Kimberley and several girls joined Rob and his friends on the dancefloor. Kimberley made sure she got a second bite of this particular apple. Again Lisa caught this, and the look on her face was priceless.

When it was time for the girls to leave, our very own Lisa ducked away from the security and literally flung herself at a blond girl she obvious knows well. Before the security can pull Lisa away, she gets to say goodbye to what I can now see is her true love.

When I confronted Lisa with my story, she confirmed that this story was accurate and that she does have feelings for Rob.

It's not often this reporter is moved, but I later found out that the only reason they are not together is Lisa's choice of career'

Well, at least my surname wasn't mentioned, and Lisa's obvious abuse of drugs has stayed out of the media. The thing that made me most uncomfortable was the compliment from the writer. He thinks I'm a fine specimen of a man. I shake my head; I have never been good at accepting compliments.

I phone Len back. "Hi, mate. Shit, I hope the media don't catch on to that."

"Fuck you, lucky bastard. Lisa Lovegood is in love with you." Len says, almost shouting down the phone with excitement.

"I already knew that mate. She's told me several times," I say, not thinking my words through before opening my mouth.

"Shit, mate, you kept that one secret."

"We got a lot closer during the trial, and to be honest, it's really confused me."

"Not surprised. Between Lisa and Charlie, I would struggle," Len says, sounding in awe of me. "Look, mate, I got to shoot. I'm taking that last program you sent, up to the customer. I'll see you in Edinburgh on Sunday."

"Okay, mate, I'll see you at the weekend." I hang up. "Oh shit, that reminds me. I need to book my room," I say to myself. I run upstairs and get my notebook with all my important phone numbers. Sitting back down on the small seat attached to the phone table, I dial the hotel's number. It's answered on the third ring. "Hello Kelly, how are you?" I say as soon as the phone is answered.

"Rob? I wondered when you would be ringing. What day will I be seeing my favourite customer?"

"Favourite customer aye. Next Saturday night?" I say, almost holding my breath.

"Hang on, Rob. A customer is coming to the desk." I wait, listening as Kelly talks to someone. I couldn't tell what they were saying, but she was soon back. "Rob?"

"Yeah, still here."

"Hi, sorry, but we are fully booked for next Saturday. We have a wedding on."

"Oh crap," I say, trying to think quickly. "Can you recommend another hotel?"

"Yeah, hang on. I'll go and get the folder." I hear the phone clunk down on the reception desk and a filing cabinet being opened. I heard Kelly pick the receiver back up and then drop it. "Shit," she says at her clumsiness. "Ummm, Rob, I was thinking. I'm working Saturday morning and not working for the first time on Sunday. Would you like to come out for a meal and possibly a nightclub? After that, you can just crash at mine. It will save you the cost of a room." I can hear the quivering in her voice, as her fear that I will say no, overwhelms her.