Your New Shoulder Devil Pt. 01

This story contains scenes and themes of nonconsensual and semi-consensual sex, themes of self-hate and severe psychological manipulation. Proceed with caution.

*

"So, uh, do you watch Rose and Dolly?"

Angelina looked up from her Intro to Moral Philosophy book. Dominique was sitting on her bed, right across from Angelina's, an expectant look on her face, kind of nervous. Understandable, given the material she'd referenced.

On a basic level you could say they were extreme BDSM videos starring a futanari domme, Rose Nail, and a submissive, Dolly, who was a trans girl or crossdresser or something, Angelina wasn't certain how Dolly would self-identify. But that seemed inadequate as a description. For one thing, there was this wild ferocity in those videos, violent beatings and whippings, savage rough fucking by Rose's huge cock, made you fear for Dolly's safety, made you feel freakish for watching and finding pleasure it. And the videos were often built around roleplay scenarios, sometimes scripted, sometimes ad-libbed, where Rose and Dolly play-acted stories of betrayal and punishment, abuse and domination, seduction turned rape, blackmail, abduction... High emotional intensity, there were moments from their videos that haunted Angelina, but she'd lost count of how many times she'd jerked her cock to them anyway.

"I'm familiar," Angelina said coolly.

"Heh." Dominique nibbled her lower lip, Angelina always found it cute when she did that. "Like, how familiar?" She still seemed kind of anxious, but she had a conspiratorial grin on now.

Angelina inhaled. She was reluctant to give away the extent of her feelings about Rose and Dolly. "I'm not a subscriber or anything," she said in an even tone, "but I've watched a lot of their stuff, most of the clips that are, you know, up on the free sites."

"Yeah." Dominique's smile was huge now, giddy. "I'm a subscriber," she said, and for a moment it seemed like she was trying to stop talking about it. But she soon gave in, "God, I've spent SO much time watching their videos, I go through, like, entire weeks where I'm just trying to LIVE in them, just spend all my time feeling how I feel when I watch them." She lay her back on the bed. "I need a little Dolly so bad, man, just need a subby little slutty sissy boy that I can just ram my girldick into whenever I want." She thrust her crotch up into the air. Angelina could tell that her cock was a bit hard. Just keep your eyes on your book, Angelina told herself, don't stare. "Rose is so lucky."

"They have something very special," Angelina replied, nodding. "Do you ever think, um," she was reluctant to reveal too much of herself. The Rose and Dolly videos were a vector for feelings she'd never fully admitted to herself, much less to anyone else, and she wasn't sure she had a handle on them. As much as anything she was scared of representing herself falsely. No, fuck that, she was scared of representing herself accurately too.

Crap, she'd stalled a long time. Dominique was staring at her. "Do I ever think what?"

Deep sigh. "Do you ever think about what it's like to get fucked by Rose?"

Dominique let out a quick laugh. "Nah, not really. Bet it's pretty intense. Too much for me. She's," Dominique sighed wistfully, "a fuckin' savage."

"Uh huh."

"But so wait, do you fantasize about being fucked by Rose?" Dominique was looking at Angelina now with a burning curiosity, she'd never made eyes like that at Angelina before. "Is that what you want? You looking for your own Rose?"

Angelina shrugged. "I dunno."

"Cause I'm looking for my own Dolly for sure. God, Rose can just do ANYTHING to him, like she's so VICIOUS, but you see how he looks at her?" Dominique sighed. "That's love right there."

Angelina peered over the top of her book. "I think Dolly goes by 'she.'"

"I mean," Dominique sounded defensive now, "they use 'he' or 'she' in different videos, depending on the scenario, the characters..."

"Yes," Angelina said in a slightly pinched tone, "I'm just pretty sure that Dolly, the actual person, goes by 'she.'"

Dominique made a weird throat noise. "Well yeah but I mean, he's not, like, a futanari. He's not a born dickgirl like us."

"Right, but--"

"Doesn't even have tits," Dominique went on, "under the makeup and clothes he's just guy-shaped. Heh, really if you're seeing him as a girl that's kinda more freaky, cause if he's a girl then he's, like, prepubescent."

Angelina just made a stiff, "Mm." A tone calculated to concede nothing, reveal nothing except disapproval.

Dominique clearly registered the displeasure, she let out a nervous, "Heh," before saying, "Well, but you're more into Rose, right?"

Angelina considered this for a moment. "'Into' doesn't quite cover it."

Dominique's eyebrow raised. "Oh yeah? What's that mean? Are you in loooove with her?"

"It's more just that, like," God, she was really talking about this, "I didn't really have any other futas in my life before college, before I met you. My, you know, my futa mother didn't stay with my mom, there weren't any others at my school. I was alone. And when I found those videos, like... Even other porn with futas in it, you know, it's for men, by men, and we're presented as big sluts, or else these dominating figures, but in any case we're being presented, you know? And like, Rose is definitely the main creative voice in those videos, even when it's unscripted she's the one in control of what's happening. And so watching them it was like another futa's mind was, um," how to say it? "Touching mine, I guess. And, I dunno, I have desires, like everyone, but everything I feel seems so alien to what normal people feel, and when I think about anyone else knowing what's in my head it's all colored by this idea that people are just gonna see futas as sex freaks. And Rose made me feel like it was acceptable to be whatever I was, no matter how perverse."

Dominique nodded. "You're in loooove with her," she teased.

Angelina huffed, though she was grinning. "Whatever."

Dominique seemed untroubled. "I dunno, I've always been fine with being a sex freak. Never needed permission."

"Okay," Angelina said. She felt weird asking this, but, "In what way? Are you a sex freak, I mean."

"Heh, why do you ask?" Dominique had a burning curiosity in her eyes now, it made Angelina feel a fluttery sensation in her belly. "What are you looking for in your Rose?"

"I'm not-- I never said I was looking for a Rose," Angelina muttered.

Another lip nibble. "Okay." She shrugged. "Heh, there's lots of boys in the Rose and Dolly fandom looking for a Rose. I've gotten SO many boys to send me pictures of themselves in, like, panties, skirts... What do you think it is that makes futas go, like, apeshit for boys in girl clothes, huh? Cause it's for sure a thing, it's not just Rose, it's really common."

It was certainly something that made Angelina's cock tingle. "Not sure," she said quietly.

"See, my theory has always been that, like, okay," Dominique was visibly trying to sort her thoughts out, waving her hands in front of her face as she stalled, "so women's clothing tends to be designed to make the body look fuckable. I mean, definitely sexy clothing is for that, for making the body look like something you want to penetrate, right?"

Angelina nodded. "Seems reasonable."

"And so, not all of us futas are tops or pure tops or anything, but we've got dicks and mostly wanna use them. And it seems like a lot of us like boys, yeah? So naturally, those of us that like boys wanna see them in something that shows them off as something to penetrate, you know? Like, show off the ass, make it look enticing, draw the eye to curves, that sort of thing."

"I suppose that makes sense as an explanation." Angelina considered putting her book down, she wasn't reading it, but she liked having a prop, liked having a buffer between her and Dominique. There'd been sparks flying between them for weeks now, but neither had made a move. Certainly, they'd never had a conversation this sexual before. Maybe tonight could be the night that something happened, and while Angelina burned with curiosity about what that would be like, she was reluctant to actually take that step. They were the only two futas in their year at Wahdolee University, and the school had made them room together, apparently not trusting them with normal girls and boys. If a sexual relationship sparked between her and Dominique, and it went sour, it was likely that they'd be stuck together for the remainder of the year. And even if it did go well, Angelina didn't think Dominique was the kind of girl her mother would approve of.

"Well, Professor, you seem unconvinced. Do you have an alternative explanation?" Dominique was sitting with her legs crossed, chin resting on her elbows, wide eyed like a parody of an attentive student.

Angelina hesitated. Probably nothing good would come of her bringing this up. "Have you ever heard the religious thing that futas are, like, demons?"

Dominique grunted. "Yes."

"So the idea is," Angelina went on, "that futas were created by the devil to pervert God's perfect design of male and female and tempt men and women to unnatural sexual acts. Within that worldview, they'd probably see our obsession with men in women's clothing--"

"Our?" Dominique had her eyebrow raised.

Angelina continued undeterred. "As another example of that, us subverting gender roles for our sexual gratification. And," she couldn't help the smirk that tugged on the corner of her mouth, "ideally, theirs."

"Ideally, yeah." Dominique was grinning. "You don't seriously believe that religious shit, do you?"

A pause. "I just think," she was using her best emotionless tone, "that it can be beneficial to understand viewpoints we don't agree with, to get a more complete sense of the world and other people and how they think."

Dominique groaned. "I don't want to understand people who think I'm a demon. I wanna throw rocks at them."

"Heh. I get that." Angelina was smiling, not looking at Dominique, eyes fixed on her book.

But she could tell, from her peripheral vision, that Dominique was looking intently at her. "You said the thing earlier about craving to touch another futa's mind."

"I don't believe I used the word 'craving.'"

"Well, I crave that," Dominique said. "And I feel kinda jealous, cause I think you've gotten to touch my mind a lot more than I've gotten to touch yours."

Dominique was holding a pleading stare. Oh, God, Angelina didn't want to confide in her, or anyone, she was certain all her fetid thoughts were better off locked up in her head. But she couldn't resist that stare.

"My actual hypothesis about futas liking boys in girl clothing," Angelina said, "is that a lot of us feel alone, and we're looking for someone like us, and if we can't find someone, we want to make someone like us. You know, we're rare, we're unusual, and it's easy to feel like the way we are is dirty. And so there's kind of a kinky thrill in feminizing a normal boy because we're making him dirty like us."

Dominique didn't seem to be judging her, thank God, but she didn't look like she agreed either. "I mean, I do like making someone dirty. But I don't think I'm dirty just for being a futa. And I'm not alone, I had both my moms, and aunts. And I really specifically get off on the fact that a boy in girly clothes is a different thing than me. So I dunno. Might just be a you thing."

"Heh. Good to know." Angelina inhaled deeply. "So, okay, when I was younger there was this one boy I fooled around with one time, it went okay at first, but after we were done I asked him to try on my panties. He got mad, like extremely mad. It ruined the moment. Later on he started spreading rumors about me."

Dominique shook her head. "Fuck that guy."

"But it's hard not to feel like there's something wrong with me for liking that when they can react so badly, you know? Like apparently it's a deep, deep insult to even ask. What does that say about me that it's such a big fantasy?"

Dominique sighed. "I mean--"

"And so my fear, then, is that we're just sort of inherently... wrong, I guess. Like, there's this dread that if I keep meeting futas it'll turn out that we're all into some sort of perverted sex thing. And that's kind of why I have sort of a," she waved her hand in front of her, "an obsession, I guess, with the religious idea that we're demons, even if I don't believe in it."

"Well, okay," Dominique was noticeably a bit mad now, "the fuckin' religious freaks would say any sexual desire we have is perverted, right? We don't fit their gender binary, so they don't want us to fucking exist. And, okay, lots of boys are super insecure about girl clothes, but like I said, tons of them are into crossdressing, like, so many. There's nothing wrong with it just because some guy sucks." She exhaled heavily; the frustration seemed to dissipate somewhat. "Heh. You should really sub to Rose and Dolly, there's a fucking ocean of boys who like futas and sissy stuff on there."

Angelina hesitated before speaking. "You're right that there's nothing wrong with crossdressing. That was silly of me." She shrugged. "I don't know, I guess part of why I didn't want to share my thoughts was that I kind of feel like a lot of my thoughts just aren't worth sharing."

Dominique grunted. "Just, don't fuckin' hate yourself, you know?"

If only it were that easy. "I guess."

A few quiet moments passed.

"So, okay, you had that thing with the guy who got weird about wearing panties," Dominique said, "have you, you know, gotten a lot of action?"

"Kind of a personal question," Angelina replied coolly.

"Well we're having a personal conversation," Dominique shot back. "Come onnnn, I listened to your weird self loathing shit, least you can do is tell me about your sex life."

Angelina sighed. "Three people. Two boys and one girl. One time each. Some of it was kind of fun while it was happening but none of it ended particularly well."

"Aw, what happened?" A voice somewhere between sympathetic and mocking.

"Well, there was the guy who didn't want to wear panties," Angelina considered just stopping there, but Dominique's expectant look induced her to keep talking, "the girl, like, she said she wanted to experiment with me because she was bi-curious, and she got really into playing with my dick, but when I took my shirt off she lost her enthusiasm. Like she kept going for a while but I could tell she wasn't into it anymore. No one ended up cumming. And there was this one boy who was... not sure how to say it, but like, aggressively submissive, if that makes sense. Like during and after he kept begging me to hit him or tie him up." He'd begged her to choke him too, really wanted his futa mistress to squeeze his throat. And for some reason that had made her feel extremely icky, is that what you think of me, is that what you want me to be no no no I'm not like that don't make me be like that--

"Shit, do you have his number?" Dominique seemed so eager, God it made Angelina tingly to witness.

But she didn't let it show. "He lives all the way in Indiana, you know."

"Fuck, I'll go on a road trip for some subby boypussy, that's fine." Dominique paused, a furtive glance at Angelina before adding, "Done it before."

"Well, maybe I'll reach out to him," Angelina replied, "see if I can set you two up. I unfriended him because he got too persistent."

"Oh, dude, yeah, I'll fuckin' talk to him for sure." She leaned back onto her bed, hands behind her head. "Wonder if I'd be too much for him. Heh. Some boys talk a lot about what they want you to do to them, but they're not ready for what it's like for real."

"I can imagine," Angelina nodded. "Like I do think a lot about," she hesitated to say it, but, hell, she was in this deep, "being Rose's bottom, but wow am I not sure I could take all that."

"Heh." Dominique's eyes were burning lust and curiosity at her now. "I bet you're stronger than you know. I bet you could take more than you think."

Angelina opened her mouth to speak, and noticed her lungs were empty, she'd been too caught up in Dominique's gaze to breathe. A noisy, gasping inhalation before she managed to stammer, "Oh y-yeah? What, uh, what makes you think that?"

"I dunno." For a moment, her eyes darted away from Angelina, but they locked onto her again when she added, "I want it to be true."

Shaky breathing. "Yeah?"

"Put that book down." Dominique's jaw jutted up slightly, as if she were trying to flick the book out of Angelina's hands with the motion of her neck.

Instead Angelina's grip tightened on the edges of the book. "Why?"

Dominique was sitting up now. "You know why."

Angelina was tingling all over. She felt like she was outside her body, like she had no capacity for thought. She noticed that she had closed her textbook, and was leaning over to put it on her bedside table. Apparently her body had decided to do that.

"Good girl," Dominique rumbled.

This made Angelina giggle. The words, "Don't say that," came out of her, though she didn't really mean it, it came out sounding like a tease.

"Oh yeah?" Dominique lunged for her, she was on top of Angelina's bed, her knees on either side of Angelina's thighs, the nails on one hand stroking Angelina's back over her cardigan, the other hand petting the back of her head. Angelina stared up at her, paralyzed with desire. "Should I call you 'bad girl' then? Should I tell you you need to be punished for all the depraved thoughts you have about Rose?"

Words not coming, "Um... um... Oh!"

Dominique pushed her back onto the bed, lowering her body onto hers so that Angelina could feel Dominique's hardness grinding against her through all the layers of fabric. "The last Rose fan I fucked," she murmured, right into Angelina's ear, "we met up at a hotel, halfway between our cities, two hour drive for each of us. We'd been talking for months, about how he wanted me to do anything and everything to him. Turned out he was lying. I meant it though. Held him down with my hands around his neck and made him take my cock til I came. When he wriggled out from under me I chased him around the room with a whip, trapped him in a corner and just whipped him until he was on the floor in a cowering heap. Then I fucked him some more, over and over until morning."

What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck. Angelina found her voice to say, "Is that true?"

"Yeah." Her hand on the back of Angelina's head tightened around a fistful of hair, not yanking on it, but poised to do so. "Let me show you how true it is."

"No."

"Aww, you know Mama's favorite word." That was a Rose line, Angelina recognized it. Fuck, she was not ready for whatever was coming, Dominique was rubbing her cock against Angelina, her other hand sliding up Angelina's back. Toward her neck?

"I said no!" Angelina yelled, and pushed Dominique, hard enough to knock her off the bed.

Dominique sat on the floor, wide eyed, stunned expression on her face. After a moment her hand went behind her head to scratch. "Heh. You are stronger than him." There was that lip nibble again, suddenly the girl who made Angelina's heart flutter had returned. A mischievous twinkle in her eye, "I'm sure you'd deal with it better than he did."

Angelina was sitting curled up in the fetal position on her bed. "I'm not ready for that. Dominique, it's very important to me that we have a good roommate relationship, and if you did that stuff," here she found it difficult to hold in the tears, it was audible in her voice, which she hated, "I don't think it'd be possible for us to get along."

Dominique stared up at her for a while, seeming disappointed, before getting up and shuffling back onto her bed. "You said you wanted to be Rose's bottom."

"I said it was a fantasy. I also said I didn't know how much I'd like it."