Big Bang Theory: Penny and Stuart

"Penny... I strongly believe and you know as much as I do... that would never happen... to forget or pretend that we didn't do it?" Stuart said.

"Yeah... You're right... But understand what I'm telling you... Okay, let me put it this way... there's only one man that I'm quite interested right now and foreseeing a possible future with..." Penny said, anything that would make Stuart believe that he will never ever have a chance, "...So if you ever want us to be friends... You will keep this a secret and keep it to yourself... and I will continue to talk to you and not avoid you... If you decide to spread that this happened, even just a hint... I promise you that you wish you didn't and you'll never see a day or night again..." Penny said with a serious tone, not even knowing what she said or meant or even if it made sense, "...Its your choice... Do you get what I'm trying to say?"

Stuart stared at Penny with a sad, broken look, like something snapped in his brain and rendered him speechless.

"OH MY GOD..." Penny said in frustration when she had no any response from Stuart, "...Cover yourself up... I have to go..." she said as she got off the bed and covered her body with the comforter. She walked around to look for her clothes, then headed down the hallway after grabbing them.

Stuart stared at the hallway for a few sec before lazily, with lack of energy, took his clothes and started dressing up. He saw the used condoms on the floor, "...it's the aphrodisiac..." he mumbled as he had flashbacks of the steamy sex he had with Penny.

Stuart had just got his pants on when Penny showed up, all dressed except for her hair.

"...Excuse me..." Penny said as she got close to Stuart and took her keys from the table. "Remember what I said," Penny's last words, with a hint of anger, a warning, before she disappeared out the room.

Stuart thought over his options and what Penny told him. "Lucky Leonard," he mumbled as he thought of his feelings for Penny. He decided to keep it all a secret and perhaps, by doing so, would give him another chance, even if he had to drug her again, "...I got to get more of that aphrodisiac... whatever the cost..." he said to himself.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Leonard went to check on Penny, feeling guilty because of what he'd done and also anxious to know what happened.

"Morning," Leonard greeted her when Penny opened the door wearing a sleeping gown.

"Morning. What's up?" Penny said, with enthusiasm.

"Nothing. We just pulled an all-nighter trying to fix a zero-gravity... pasta maker. I'm gonna make a coffee run. Do you want any?" Leonard said, trying not to show his anxiety.

"Oh, no, thanks. I have coffee," Penny replied, still smiley.

"Great. So how'd it go with Stuart last night?" Leonard asked, cautiously.

Penny's mood changed, "I really don't want to talk about it."

"Yeah. Right. Sure. The thing is, before you guys went out, I spoke to him and..." Leonard pushed, asking (one of his flaws).

"I said I don't want to talk about it," Penny said, annoyed.

"Okay... I just... I kind of..."

Penny's disgust about her date with Stuart and Leonard's cluelessness caught up with her temper, "Look, Leonard, what goes on between me and Stuart is none of your business. So just leave it alone, okay?" she said angrily and practically shut the door on Leonard's face.

Leonard felt uneasy after Penny's outburst and thought that his attempt to sabotage the date was its cause. He thought that apologizing to Stuart would fix whatever caused the tension between him and Penny. He managed to talk his way out of helping Howard with the space toilet fiasco and went to the comic book store.

"Hey, Stuart, I need to talk to you," Leonard said as he entered the store.

"Sure, what's up?"

"I think I gave you bad advice about Penny, and I want to apologize," Leonard admitted.

"Oh great... He's here about Penny..." Stuart commented in his mind, "...No, your advice was great," he said, trying not to sound sarcastic.

"It was?" Leonard asked, surprised.

"Yeah, going slow really worked," Stuart said.

"You're kidding. Never worked for me," Leonard commented.

"Yeah, last night at dinner, I did what you told me, I went really slow, I kept my distance, and two bottles of wine later, we were making out in the car," Stuart lied about the last part as Penny's words echoed in his conscience.

"Wine? I didn't say to give her wine," Leonard said unbelievingly.

"Yeah...Thanks to Sheldon..." Stuart said in his mind and hid his disappointment, "...It doesn't matter, that's where it all went to hell," he said, another lie.

"During the kissing? What did you do, sneeze in her mouth? I did that to a girl once," Leonard tried to be funny.

"...If only I could tell you how I fuck Penny... You'd not be as funny..." Stuart thought of saying in Leonard's face. "No, everything was good and really hot, and I said 'Oh, Penny,' and right where she was supposed to say, 'Oh, Stuart,' she said... your name," He said, acting disappointed.

"Leonard?" Leonard asked, surprised, unbelieving.

"That is your name, right?" Stuart said, acting annoyed.

"Yeah, no, yeah, wow, I'm sorry. That must've been the last thing you wanted to hear," Leonard said as he smiled internally.

"Well, it beats you know I'm a dude, right? Yeah, it was pretty bad," Stuart made up a joke to spare himself the actual rejection that had befallen him.

"No doubt, no doubt. Okay, well, I'm sorry it didn't work out," Leonard said, containing his joy.

"Not your fault," Stuart said, "...Yes it is..." he said in his mind.

"Yeah, how about that? See you soon," Leonard said as he felt jumping for joy on his way out.

"Yeah, sure," Stuart said as he watched Leonard leave. "...I'll fuck Penny again... when the opportunity comes..." he told Leonard, telepathically, as if he thought of it some sort of revenge sex, whatever the cost, even if he had to share Penny.

"...Hey Clay... Stuart... Oh yeah... yeah... that stuff worked... mind blowing... oh she's beyond hot, a freaking goddess... Yeah, thank goodness for that aphrodisiac, it would have been a bust without it... Well, maybe... if by any chance both of you are here at the store why not... Hey, speaking of that stuff. What would it cost me?... A lot..." Stuart conversed over the phone and shame laughed at the last part.