Bleeding Love

Dear reader, thank you for all the comments. I've edited the text. Hopefully, it's readable. Appreciate all critics. I welcome all suggestions.

REBECCA

It's happening again. Fourth time this year.

In my defence, I only faked it twice. Don't judge me. Simply had to.

I didn't have a choice.

She didn't give me a choice.

That bitch, Tina, needs to stop trying to fuck him. She doesn't love him. She's only obsessed with his body, and he's just a checklist to her--trophy boyfriend.

Handsome. Check. Tall. Check. Athletic. Check. Six-packs. Check. Nice thick cock. Double-check. Yup, I walked in on him in the bathroom last month.

His first time should be with someone who loves him and cares for him, and that's definitely not Tina.

She fucking cheats on him twice, and the dumbass still takes her back after a sappy sad story. Boohoo! I'm Tina, and I let a guy stick his dick in me. TWICE. She's a slut; that's what she is. And she did it while they were dating. Urgh! I FUCKING HATE THAT BITCH!

I don't know what the hell he sees in her. There's no substance to her. A typical high school bimbo. Dresses up like a skank. Her skirt's too short, the blouse one size too small. Face full of makeup.

We're both around the same height, about five-two. Guys drool over her breasts, and they are ample to fit in hand. They were her calling card, and she flaunted them. All guys fell for it. Even the best of them. My dumbass.

She is easy on the eye, and I'll give you that. She has this wavy, light reddish blonde hair, pale skin, oval fac- Wait. What the fuck? Did I describe her or me? We even have similar round brown eyes with long lashes. Hmm.

I digress. The bottom line is Tina doesn't deserve Ryan, AKA the dumbass. I'm not saying I deserve him; I should at least get a shot at it.

Ryan. My sweet dumbass. How do I even begin to describe him? I can see the compulsion in his eyes to keep me safe as he pushed me on the wheelchair into the busing Emergency Room. I tilted my head to meet his face. Loud incomprehensible grumbles of the waiting room couldn't avert my attention from his deep warm breaths. Sweat glistened on his forehead, and he was doing the jaw clenching thing making his neck vein pop.

"You'll be alright, Becca. I'm right here with you." His voice and his calloused hand on my arm comforted me, and I leaned into his arms to feel the heat of his skin.

Oh my god! Look at his muscular arms stretching the sleeves and those bulging forearm veins. Fuck! What the hell is wrong with me? I'm being wheeled around in a place that reeks of blood! I am clutching a bloody cloth over my arm, which has been bleeding for the past two hours, and my pussy's getting fucking wet looking at this dumbass! I must be one horny little cunt. I wish he'd just whip it out and stuff- Fuck! I did it again! I can feel my face warming up.

I was taught blood perfuses vital organs during an episode of bleeding. I guess my juice box must be essential. Twenty and still waiting for the love of your life to pop your cherry does that to you.

"Hi. How can I help you today?"

She looks worn-out. If I had to wear that uniform and work at 11 pm, I would be exhausted.

"Hi. I'm Ryan. Rebecca here had a fall earlier. The bleeding from her arm hasn't stopped for the past two hours. Can we see a doctor?"

"Come. Let's get you to a bed first and get your vitals. The doctor will be with you soon. GUYS! YELLOW COMING THRU!"

At this point, we are both quite familiar with how they function. I hate the bright lights like they were meant to blind me. Another nurse came to take my vitals and noted them on the board.

"Dr Tessa will be with you in a minute. She is settling another patient."

We both thanked him.

Ryan lounged on the chair, gently caressing my hand over previous puncture scars. He let out a deep sigh, knowing what was coming. I dreaded this part too. I might not need injections today as the bleeding seems to have slowed down. Hopefully, after a few hours of observation, I get to go home.

"Ryan, I'm so sorry to do this again."

"Never say sorry to me. I will always be there for you."

He goes again, being all sweet, making me fall in love with him. His grip tightened over my hand, a reassuring smile on his face as I met his gaze.

Maybe I should tell him now.

"Actually, Ry-"

The lady doctor walked in. Great timing, doc. Just as I had the courage to tell him what really happened.

"Hi, guys. I am Dr Tessa. What brings you here today?"

"Hi, Dr Tessa. I'm Ryan. This is Rebecca. She had a fall about 2 hours ago, and the wound hasn't stopped bleeding since."

"Has this happened before? I'm sorry, we are still tracing her records."

This is the best part. The part where I keep falling in love with this man. He knows me. Well, at least the pieces I've shown him.

"Yes, doc. She has von Willebrand's disorder, diagnosed at 12 after a fall. She's otherwise been healthy, never required transfusion and sometimes IV meds to make her blood clot faster. She started menses at 14, never really had bleeding issues until this year."

Von Willebrand's disorder. The story of my life. It's pretty common, actually, about 1 in 100. When anyone gets a cut or falls, they bleed, and the body sends some cool stuff to the injured part to stop the bleeding. Unfortunately for me, one of the cool stuff is not working so well. So, if I'm not careful, I can bleed to death. Hopefully, I'll never see that day. I mean, I won't see the day.

"Oh. I see. So, what happened this year?"

That was a loaded question on my part.

"This is her fourth visit here, and twice for prolonged menstrual bleeding and a similar fall."

Ryan turned to look at me like he had a moment of epiphany. OH SHIT! Does he know I did it on purpose?

"When was that?"

"Twelfth June. She needed some IV meds. The bleeding stopped after a while. Discharged after 3 hours?"

Yup. Twelfth June was the first time I faked it. His eighteenth birthday. I didn't know any other way to stop it. I overheard Tina telling him at midnight that she would take his V-card. I panicked, went to our rocky garden, 'tripped', and chafed my arm.

"Alright. We'll get the wound looked at and dressed. I need to get some blood panels done. Rebecca's vitals are stable for now. Might not need any IV meds; we'll see. By the way, nice to see a boyfriend who knows details about his partner. Most won't know anything."

This is the part I hate.

"Err, doc. Becca's, my sister."

Yup, that's why he hasn't fucked me. Yet.

RYAN

Fuck! Was it that obvious I was in love with her?

"Ohh. I'm sorry, I misread that. You can wait outside. Need to ask your sister a few questions and examine her. Thank you."

"Thanks again, doc. I'll be outside."

I can't face Becca. She'll know. I need to get out of here right now.

Closing the curtain behind me, my mind was wandering again. I seem to be doing a lot of that nowadays. Mom even commented it's like I'm not present at dinner sometimes.

Today was supposed to be a monumental day for me. Mom was finally out of town, and I could have Tina over for a much-needed alone time. I told Becca at dinner that I was inviting Tina over. She would never rat me out to mom. She was chirpy the whole day until I told her. She became quiet. She knew mom never liked Tina. She was probably uncomfortable covering up for me. But Becca screwed it up for me again. Is she doing it on purpose?

I need this. I would have fucked Tina on my birthday if not for another trip to the hospital. I need to fuck Tina ASAP. Get it out of my system. I am feeling things a brother should never feel for his sister.

Feeling drained, I leaned on the white wall, trying to organize my thoughts. The lively nature of the ER and the rusty smell of dried blood always brought me back to that first time. Growing up, Becca and I were inseparable. She had friends, but I was her priority. She was only two years older, but she was my partner in crime.

Her fall at twelve somewhat changed our relationship. I still remember the bumpy car ride to the hospital, as her leg was bleeding for more than two hours. Mom held her, and I sat close, unable to grasp the seriousness of the situation. My eyes kept darting between my parents. Dad was sweating with the air conditioner blasting, and mom kept fidgeting in her seat. The car was quiet, and the silence scared me.

I remember holding Becca's cold hand, waiting for her blood results. Luckily, the bleeding had stopped by then. I can recall the doctor's face, and he was kind and did his best to explain the disorder to us.

Mom told dad and me to wait outside. I asked Mom about it many years later. Surprised at my anamnesis, she told me she discussed what happens when Becca gets her period.

So, dad and I sat by the coffee machine. Little did I know, those were his last words of wisdom. Maybe he knew, and his words are etched in my heart forever.

"Hey, bud. I know all this seems too much to take in. I'm feeling it, and there's no shame in admitting that. We will get through this as a family. Your mom and sister are strong women. We must always support them. I love my family with everything I have. You three are my world. But life sometimes throws a curveball like today. It's time for us to step up our game. Protect and care for what we love. Ry, some people grow up at eighteen, some at five, and some never grow up. It only matters what sort of a man you want to be. Some circumstances will force you to grow up. Always listen to your heart. Never lies to you. I can see your love for Becca. Always keep her safe. She's yours to protect."

Love you, dad.

I didn't grasp everything he told me that day. Hell, I am still learning from it every day.

Wow! 8 years on, I'm here on my own, taking her to the ER. Mom even trusts that I do a better job than her protecting Becca. I can't blame her. Dad passed in a freak accident a month after Becca's diagnosis. Dad was driving back from work that fateful day. The drunk truck driver never pumped the brakes, and our lives changed forever. My first lesson; some circumstances will force you to grow up.

Mom never neglected us. She had a stable job. Dad already had plans in place in case something terrible happened to him. We had enough money put away for the future. We leaned on each other and became each other's person. I was the youngest in the house, and I was also the man of the house. I held onto my dad's words and cared for my mom and sister. I didn't know where to start, and I couldn't contribute financially.

Thanks to the internet, I read up about von Willebrand's disorder. I understood it's more about prevention and recognising when to seek emergency care. I knew my mom wouldn't take me seriously. How can a ten-year-old understand protecting his family? I needed to show her.

One weekend, after breakfast, I was out in the garden. I put on some oversized rubber gloves, got a rubbish bag, and picked up stones. Later I used the extra sand from the garage to level the uneven surfaces. I was lucky my dad managed to teach me some things.

Mom and Becca, busy preparing lunch, were curious about what I was up to.

"RYAN, WHERE ARE YOU? YOU DOING HOMEWORK?"

"IN THE BACK, MOM!"

The pair walked to the garden and saw me working the garden.

"Honey, what you are doing?"

"Hey, mom. I finished picking up the sharp stones. Now, I'm levelling the uneven grass. Dad thought to me. Later, I'll do the walkway."

Mom and Becca looked confused.

"Why, hun?"

"Umm. Ohh. I-I was doing some reading about von-Wil-le-brand's disorder. Most articles mention prevention is key. I know Becca loves playing and reading in the garden. Uneven surfaces and sharp rocks may risk Becca falling and hurting herself. I wanted to make sure she would be safe."

Mom's smile was worth a million dollars. She wiped her tears and hugged me tightly. Mom waved to Becca, and she joined in.

"How did I get lucky with two lovely children? I love you both so so much."

Mom showered us with kisses, and Becca gave me a hug and a peck on the cheek.

"Thank you, Ryan."

"You'll never need to thank me, Becca. I will always take care of you."

My determination earned more kisses from mom. From that day on, we discussed everything together; finances, groceries, cooking, future. Mom treated us like adults. Becca and I walked to school together. I wanted to be strong for everyone, which is how I can show my love.

Deep in my reminiscence, the sudden slide of curtain rails brought me to the present.

Becca's wrinkled brow and chewing of lips caught my attention. She was confused about something. I knew her well enough.

"All ok with my sister, doc?"

"Yup. We've cleaned the wound, and the bleeding looks like it's stopping. I don't think she'll need an IV, and I discussed other issues. She'll be good to go in an hour or two."

"Thanks, doc. That's a relief. Sorry for the inconvenience."

"No worries. It's my job, and I'll review Rebecca again before discharge if there's no other issue."

The doctor left us to attend to another patient.

I stepped out to update mom on Becca's current condition. She never had anything to worry about.

I will take care of my sister. Always. I love her.

Fuck! I used to have so much pride in saying it. Nowadays, it stings when I say it. I know it's the guilt. I can't even fathom the depraved things I want to do to her sexy body; I can't even fathom. And that perfectly rounded juicy ass of hers, that's my kryptonite. I would eat- FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! I'm doing it again. We're in a hospital, Becca still needs observation, and my cock is getting hard at my sister's sweet ass. I'm just a sick piece of shit.

"Hey Becca, you ok? Did the doctor say something?"

"Nothing Ryan. Nothing."

"You sure? That didn't sound like nothing."

"I already told you, it's NOTHING."

I was trying to help, and she didn't need to be so dismissive. I wonder what the doctor said.

She's doing the whole deep breathing thing whenever she's annoyed. She'll tell me soon enough. I hope.

Time to get some rest before we get out of here. Ahh. This chair will do. I know my back will hurt later, and I'll take that.

The plaster over her cubital region evidenced the blood puncture site.

"Come, sis, let me see if the puncture site is still bleeding."

I used to apply lotion to her to avoid scarring. She liked when I did it for her, and I haven't done it for some time now.

"It's ok, brother. I can do it myself."

Now, she's pissing me off. Hope she doesn't hear me grinding my teeth or clenching my jaw.

"Brother? Since when did you call me that?"

"Since when am I, sis?"

"You've always been my sister."

It sounded like a reminder to myself.

"STOP IT, RYAN! Call me Becca, like you always do."

Fuck! Now I am going to make her cry. Her tensed face, tightly sealed lips, rosy cheeks, and pleading watery eyes are melting me. Wow! Becca's something else. Look at her messy wavy hair. I'd love to reach over and rake my hands through it. Forget ourselves for a minute, graze my nose on hers, and press our lips together. Just once. That would be enough for her to know how I feel. I'll lose her forever after that. She would think I was a sick pervert. Anything would be better than this hollow feeling eating me up every fucking day.

"Ryan. Ryan. Are you going to say something or continue staring at my face?"

Say something, idiot. And stop rubbing your neck. Smile. Did she bite her lips? I must be imagining things now.

"Sorry. My mind wandered off--bad joke. You're always Becca. My Becca. May I?"

I reached over and gently removed the plaster, caressing around the area. The feeling of touching Becca was electric, but she winced a little and pulled her arm away. What did I do now?

"It's ok, Ryan. I'll go home and apply some lotion."

"I- I can do it. Like before."

"NO! No. You already do so much for me."

She abruptly turned around to face away from me. I could make out a soft whimper and her snuffling.

"And I'll keep doing more. Always. It's my duty." I almost whispered it, and it was a lie. I'll keep doing it because I love her.

"I know, Ryan. You're only doing your duty, and there's nothing more," I can feel my heartbreaking in her muffled voice.

"Sorry I spoiled your plans with Tina today. I know you were looking forward to it. Next time, I won't be a snag anymore."

"Come on, Becca. Don't ever say that. You are always my priority. I lo- You're my sister."

That was close. I must learn to control my mouth. Why is Becca making her annoyed face?

"Yea, that's the only reason. I'm your sister, and it's your duty. Thanks, Ryan. Anyway, I'm sleepy now. Let me know when the doctor lets us go home."

What the fuck? She cut me off like that, covering herself with the blanket. Whatever.

"Ok, Becca."

We were out by 3 AM. The drive home was quiet, as though there was unspoken tension building between us. Becca faced the window, not uttering a single word but occasional sighs. Did she sense something from me?

She fidgeted, waiting for me to open the door, avoiding eye contact.

"I'm going to sleep on the couch today. Don't feel like dragging myself up."

She stormed past me and landed on the couch.

I took a quick bath. How easy would it be if I could wash my dirty thoughts away? She was asleep when I came back down and covered her with my blanket. I'd usually plant a small kiss on her forehead, but I felt I would be taking advantage of her today. It was difficult to peel my eyes away from her beautiful oval face, long lashes, and delicate lips. With all the willpower I had left, I ended up on the single-seater recliner. There was no way she was sleeping alone in the living room. I still have some questions in my mind for her. And her whole weird behaviour today. What was that about? And what did the doctor ask her? Hopefully, Becca will be better, and we can get past this awkward phase.

REBECCA AND RYAN

Rebecca was woken up from her deep slumber by the glaring sunlight through the open curtains. Feeling the fog over her head lift, she quickly noticed the blanket covering her.

"I didn't sleep with a blanket last night, did I?" She knew.

Her heart sank again at the sight of her wide framed shirtless brother contorted into the recliner. She's dozed off often enough times to know how uncomfortable it feels and the resulting excruciating neck pain the day after.

The act of him accompanying her in the living room was a norm. Whenever Rebecca opted to sleep on the couch instead of her bed, she had something bothering her. For instance, after her break up with Jason two years back. The whole week she slept in the living room. Ryan accompanied her, never complaining about the pain day after. She smiled, reminiscing his famous tagline whenever she told him to sleep on his bed.

"I can either carry you up, or I'm sleeping here. You choose." He's so sweet, she thought to herself.

After the awkward night, she thought he might have wanted to stay away from her. Rebecca went to sleep last night, really pissed at her brother and herself. She was frustrated she could not have the one person Rebecca wanted to be with, and she did not choose to be in love with him. Now, that's the only thing on her mind. The naive words he used last night stung her to the core. Words like sis, duty, and sister were not bad, but they projected her inappropriate feelings toward him.

Rebecca felt lost.

Does he not see how she feels?

Does he care for her only as a sister?

Is he doing everything as a responsibility and nothing more?

Does he not feel anything else for her?