All Comments on 'Brandon's Torment'

Your story is great!!! Can't wait for the next part.

Curious to see how this plays out. I'm hoping Brandon is finally recognized as being male undeserving of this harsh treatment and that it ends with a kinky HEA for him and Heather.

Why is he not deserving of that punishment? Is not being a MALE enough to justify it? Even though I am a male. I think all males deserve to be punished for being the inferior sex because every male should know women are far superior to us males

Anything like justice or laws in this infallible organisation ?

Are you gonna continue the story or is it gonna end here? Because I was hoping Brandon and Heather ended up together.

The story will continue.

ENTERTAINING AND A MUCH BETTER STORY THAN MANY I’VE READ ON THIS SITE. 👍

*

If this is your first attempt at writing then good job. If it isn’t your first published work then good on the imaginative side and most of the writing but not so good with the number of grammatical and spelling errors. As there is no information on your profile I can’t see an obvious reason and I don’t want to make assumptions.

*

Some readers aren’t bothered by silly mistakes. I’m not bothered if it’s only a handful but with so many it’s irritating. It gives the impression the writer couldn’t be bothered to give the story a final read through before submitting. On the whole one would think, because it’s an imaginative story etc, the scores would be higher but it does give you thought as to why not.

*

I read the first chapter a couple of days ago and decided to leave any comment until after reading the second which I’ve just finished reading. As I’ve said, I think the story entertaining and enjoyed it despite what I’ve already mentioned. Both chapters are a little relentless in as much as the mistresses do something to him, and others, which is immediately followed by them doing something else which is immediately followed by another punishment. Not much happens in between.

*

You’ve got about 27,000 words in two chapters. I think, and of course many will disagree including possibly yourself, that it would have been better constructed as three chapters, or even two, with more actual story, background etc. At the moment it could be used as the script for a porn video, if there are any porn videos that do have scripts. 🤔

*

I made grammatical mistakes when I first began submitting stories. They were pointed out to me by more experienced, and better writers than myself, for which I’m extremely grateful.

*

FINALLY I would like to mention that there was a gap of two months between the first two chapters, which doesn’t seem to have harmed the score, but now it’s been four months waiting for the third instalment. There is a fairly large section of readers who lose interest when that happens.

*

As always, my comments are intended to be constructive and I hope you have read them in that way. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK. 👍

MY ERRORS. There’s me commenting on your errors and I’ve made a couple in my previous comment. Just shows nobody’s perfect least of all me. Especially me.

I said “better constructed as three chapters, or even two.”Whereas it should have been “or even four.” I also said there’s been a gap of four months since the last chapter whereas it’s only been three.

I look forward to the next instalment whenever it appears. I did try to message you but you must have pm’s turned off.

please have brandon and heater be together in the end, I'm shipping them.

They are the same as the guys they are punishing if they takes pleasure in punishing the wrong guy. I hope they punish head mistress for that. If not, don't bother trying to justify it. They will just be another corrupted extremists.

Well, if the center is not supposed to injure or permanently scar the men then busting their balls like that will certainly hurt them if not rupture them. Men do need to be put in their place and such a process like this should be created. Hurting them so badly like the headmistress has done is not making me feel any nicer. Hopefully the headmistress will be taught a terrible lesson and subjected to harsh punishment. Hopefully Brandon will find out what happened and maybe be able to inflict harsher punishment on the women. Maybe Heather and Brandon will find each other and learn to love each other in a mutual living arrangement. WOuld hate of have Brandon be able to get off with punishment instead of love.

This is simply not erotic, it’s just punishment and pain. It really doesn’t matter what someone has done, nobody deserves to be put through this meat grinder. As for the woman in charge, there isn’t anything too bad to do to her. Her place in the lower reaches of hell are guaranteed.

Also ich fand die Story sehr erotisch!

Man muss bedenken, dass es sich um Fiktion handelt.

Sie ist gut erzählt und die Qualen für Brandon steigern sich ständig. Ich bewundere die Fantasie des Schreibers. Danke für den guten Job. Prima Kopfkino!