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- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 1 year agoTo many inappropriately used or distasteful terms / words used, really detracted from the story, for me. Lady penis? "Ream" used to describe vaginal sex? Sphincter used calling to thoughts of anal sex (yep, know the vagina has one, but very rarely used to describe much else sex wise, other than the anus entrance).
Put that on top of most of processes and legalese being way off... yep, definitely not for me.
iameaselover 2 years agoCouldnt get very far through this. seems no one felt like submitting any decent stories today.
Rocky62over 2 years agoSad tale but at least she has junior. And who knows humping him in coma state mighta brought him back.
Anonymousover 2 years agoWho finds this erotic? Kind of suspenseful, but more curiosity than suspense. Seemed like an awful lot of writing to convey a bland legalistic plot. But thanks for the effort.
Anonymousover 2 years agoAnother shit story joins the others posted today. Miserable day in LW today. 1*
LenardSpencerover 2 years agoHi Snapdrgn. The basic concept of your story was interesting. Getting a husband who is in a "coma" state to get an erection so that you can have sex with him with a view of becoming pregnant. Yes, there would have been many ways of achieving that, other than what you listed.
However, be careful when you introduce "legal" aspects. Why? Because they way you explained Trusts and the Will, simply are not correct. A trust is a separate legal entity. Assets in a Trust do NOT form part of a person's Estate (Administered by a Will) So, the Will does not control the Trust. Also, there were aspects of "controlling from the grave" that are not legally binding. eg Excluding a person from ever getting married again. Sadly, I have to admit being involved with "Trust and Will Busting" as a profession and got to know many of the tricks and wordings to avoid.
Anyway, well done with the creativity and keep writing. It is the concept that is most important so be careful about listing highly specific Legal and Accounting scenarios. Cheers.
