All Comments on 'Call Me Master Pt. 03'

Adding more detail and prolonging the scenes would really help your writing style. You seem to like the straight and forward which isn't bad but adding a bit more detail will really bring it to life. Add little things like switching up the names. instead of just saying 'little slave girl' maybe add something else. it can be derogatory like bitch or praising like good girl or pet whatever works but that helps it not be redundant.

I think adding some lines when they are fucking like 'his breath grew ragged as he neared his climax. With one final thrust, I felt his cum seep inside of me' shit like that prolongs the scene and makes it feel like this dude didn't cum as soon as his dick got wet.

I love that you added what the pictures in the mansion look like that gives you an insight into his tastes but adding more info on the other aspects of the mansion and small details will give us as readers a look at his personality without it being said as much.

Just some constructive criticism, hope it helps. I know this site has free editors that can also help you if you would like. You as the Author are always the one who has the final say. I am interested to see where this goes

This story feels like a genuine fantasy you’ve had, and that makes it both authentic and hot. I hope you continue this — I want to see what happens when Anastasia’s new owner catches her 😈

It's moving a bit slowly, but still a good story.