Didi Freckles Revealed Ch. 04

All of a sudden, I hate Sunday mornings. Well, after one of Suzie's underground parties anyways. And not so much because my head hurt, which it did, but because Suzie isn't here to make me breakfast. And believe me, no matter how cute goth girl Teardrop is, this liquid asphalt isn't worth it.

"So, Teardrop, are you going to tell me what I did to deserve this black crude oil and these, ah, is this a piece of plywood?"

"Suzie told me about how you love your Sunday morning breakfast and I wanted to thank you for convincing Drax to rent me his larger garage for my art projects. Hey, pull your eyes back in, I have to finish my current project in your garage. I would appreciate it if you don't tell me what you did to convince Drax, but I need an electrical system upgrade in his garage, so maybe you can wear your Denim shorts when you visit him this morning, pretty please? Are you ready for a couple of hockey pucks?"

"Hmmm, my head hurts, so maybe you can tell me what I did with Drax last night because you were standing right there watching. What are those, hash rocks?"

"You kissed me last night, Didi. And they were sausage links when they were in the refrigerator. By the way, I need to borrow Joey's truck to haul some raw material, so if you can do something with him today, that would be great."

"You kissed me. Let me try one slice of those roof shingles and I'll be finished with breakfast."

"It's called a French kiss and it's OK if you admit that it was your first. It's also OK if you admit that I was your first. Is it OK if I stop cooking now, because none of this can be called art?"

"Put the fire out first. Why do guys think that "washing and buffing" their cars on a Sunday can be considered a party? By the way, the knives go in the butcher block and not the wall."

"It's Art. Go shower and get dressed. The guys will be expecting you. I picked out some clothes for you to wear because I really need that voltage bumped up. And don't worry about ruining your shorts because we both know that none of them will let you touch their classic cars. All you need to do is to look cute and jack them off. I mean I really need that sheet metal. And wear the black bra I laid out in case you do get squirted."

"Are you a vampire?"

"No silly, I sleep. They never sleep in the movies. These are just contact lenses. Besides, vampires don't French kiss and I think you liked it and I think you want me to be your dissatisfied girlfriend and I say dissatisfied because I peeked at you this morning."

"Hey, do you want to trick me into paying your rent for Drax's garage or not?"

"Hey yourself, I didn't leave. I'm still here and cooking you breakfast like a good girlfriend, so a little credit please. If you pay for 6 months in advance, I promise to stop cooking. Deal?"

"I'll pay for 12 months if you demote yourself to Suzie's kitchen helper and show me how you got in my house this morning."

"LOL, starving artist issues are real. I'm a cat burglar on the side. Deal accepted. Alright, I'm going to get to work in the garage and let you get ready. And remember, I need that high voltage so do some stuff that I don't need to know about."

"And?"

"Well, I could use a new outfit, the chains on my goth vest are starting to rust and the large safety pins are poking through and I know you can afford it."

"Because starving artist issues are real?"

"See? You do get me. And you can kiss me again at the next party. It can be our thing. My girlfriend Jade never goes to the parties. She uses the free time to cheat on me and get her "man meat" fix and stuff. Have fun today Didi."

I will have to make an adjustment in my busy schedule today. Oh no, I'm not bypassing Drax's stupid guy party at Noon, but instead of having Brie deliver my Greek Salad tonight, like she has black mailed me into every Sunday, I might have to make a personal visit at the Pizza shop. LOL, don't worry, Brie will still get her big fat tip, even if she has to search my jean pockets herself.

It just seems like a good idea to have a "what the hell happened last night" review of the facts and details with Suzie. She'll give one hundred "by the way" speeches, but she will clear the air about who kissed who.

But first, I need to get ready to go be cute on Drax's front porch while they wash their classic cars in the driveway. And to prove that I am worth taking on a car show date and because I'm starving, I'll stop by the drive through and pick up breakfast sandwiches.

I mean, who can resist a cute Tranny with an arm full of egg and bacon sandwiches, right? Especially when Teardrop picked out a white logo crop, a black bra and my almost modest black Denim shorts.

And just so it's said. Drax, Joey and Gino will more than likely buff their classic cars in sleeveless shirts.

I'm going to the drive through that I used to order from before Suzie took over pancake duties, so these folks should still recognize me. And believe me, I remember a few from this Sunday morning crew.

"Welcome to Burnt & Dry Burgers. How may I help you this morning?"

"Twelve egg and bacon sandwiches, two large coffees and two work selfies from Kerri please."

"Alright, I have that order. Please pull forward to the second window."

Kerri handed me all the bags and lifted her shirt to flash me as a bonus.

"Jealous much sissy? I threw in your extra cream and sugar. Keep those selfies to yourself, please and come again fem boy."

Ahh, she loves me. And am I going to be the hit of the stupid "car wash" party today. Look at all these bags of food. LOL, I wonder what will get them harder? Me or the bacon? Hey, don't answer that. It's me, 70 - 30.

"Hey Drax, hey boys, I come baring gifts to fill your bellies and by that, I mean will you rinse off my SUV please? It got dusty in the alley last night. If you wash it down, I will bend over and use the vacuum and I'll put the vacuum on high power so I don't hear all of your lude comments."

"If you feed us, we'll be happy to get your SUV wet."

"Alright then. So, be honest guys, are those boners for me or for the bacon?"

"A little of both, plus we're still thinking about you making out with Teardrop last night. That was hot."

"Never mind about how she kissed me. But, speaking of Teardrop, Drax, after you finish eating my bacon, may we step inside please? Teardrop would like an extended lease for your garage and I'm supposed to vacuum your magic marker to get your signature. Joey and Gino can buff something while we're gone."

I thought Drax would jump right up, but he didn't. He finished his sandwiches, so maybe bacon has the edge, 60--40. However, bacon is for ten minutes and I'm for, well, I'm here for you until you dump me, I guess.

"Hey, just because you're about to dump a load down my throat today doesn't give you the right to dump me for the car show this Friday Drax. We have a date, right? Here, look at Kerri's tits on my phone, we need this to be quick. I mean, my SUV isn't going to wax itself."

That was quick, much quicker than last night in the warehouse district alley. So, maybe it's Kerri's tits, me and then bacon, 40--40--20.

"Happy now Drax? Of course, you are. We need to get back outside. Is my thong showing? I know Joey likes that."

It was finally my time to eat and egg sandwich like this and sip my coffee like that and swing my bare legs back and forth while I watched the guys wash my car. But I was just a cute lump on a log, I also walked back and forth to work the water hose handle, like 25 times. No, I didn't need to, but Joey likes to watch me walk back and forth. And OMG, it took forever, but he finally followed me around the side of the house.

"What's on your mind Joey? Do you like the way I work the water handle or do you need your knob twisted? And why are you so excited? It's just a thong strap showing."

"You vacuumed under your seat for 10 minutes on purpose. And I think you want to give me a preview of what's going to happen this weekend at the car show. Behind the garage will be fine."

I might give Joey a preview. I won't tell him or anyone else that I secretly booked my own private room at the "Shattered Dreams" hotel so I have a place to run and hide, but a shiny car might be worth a quick preview. And maybe a reminder of what a hand job looks like for the neighbor lady that won't stop looking at me through her window.

"Oh, a preview, huh? Here's a preview for you. We're all going to walk around the car show and have a good time. We'll have a few beers, laugh and brag about your classic cars. And while I am showing off so much skin, you guys will chase away the boys who try to goose me without my consent and then we will make fools of ourselves over dinner. After that we'll cruise the social section of Hillsdale before retiring for the evening. Then I will change into something more comfortable before Drax and I kick back and watch a vampire movie. Drax may want to do something with me, but the three of you will hole up in one room and circle jerk each other while you think about what Drax and I may or may not doing on the other side of the wall. You can jack off while you hold a water glass between your ear and the wall, can't you?"

"Or we can go with Plan B which is most of what you just said, but as soon as the vampire movie is over, we barge in and circle jerk on your face, so don't change into expensive comfortable clothes. By the way, which movie were you going to rent?"

"I Bite You, You Bite Me Part 6. The Director's cut. Now, why are you so worked up today? Is Jamie out of town this week? Seriously, it's just a thong and never mind that I keep pulling at it like this."

"Look, I'm not asking for much, just pull my water hose a little."

"Oh, just a little, huh? Maybe we can make a deal, you know, you help me and I'll help you and together we'll both give that mature woman something to look at."

"That's Mrs. Cranky. She calls everyone "child" and stuff. Tell me about this "deal" and get busy."

Well, my belly is full of eggs, bacon and Drax, so I crooked my finger at old lady Cranky and motioned with my hand for her to come out of the back of her house. LOL, I'll have Joey's eyes closed in no time flat.

"Alright, for listening to me, I'm going to let it out and pull on it, as you say. And then you're going to close your eyes, enjoy the moment and agree to my proposal. Yeah Joey, just like that, lean back and close your eyes."

Mrs. Cranky didn't need any more instructions from me. She kneeled and took her position with her mouth open. She's such a nice old lady.

"Alright Joey, I need a quick date this Tuesday at 8 pm. We're going to meet at Darla's Dungeon and have one drink. I just need to check something out and I cannot go in there alone, which I'm sure you can understand. I promise I will be a cute date and I promise to use your fire hose to put out your fire when we leave. Now, say you agree and tell me how good this feels right now?"

"Oh, that's a stroke of heaven. So, what's at Darla's Dungeon?"

"Never mind that, I just want to spy on a lipstick lesbian girl for a minute. One drink and no more."

I got my fake date agreement and Mrs. Cranky got her first load in 40 years because I jacked Joey right into to her mouth and then I stuffed it in her mouth. Nope, Joey still hasn't opened his eyes, so maybe I claim this one and maybe I don't. Or maybe I do because Joey will be posting about this in 10 minutes. Or maybe I was never here. And maybe I would have never thought that a mature woman could stand up and back off that quickly. By the time Joey opened his eyes, she was watering the grass with her own hose.

"Wait Joey, before you go. That thing you said about the hotel room stuff was just sexy talk, right? And I'm just asking, it's not that I wouldn't pose for a circle jerk, but you guys should ask nicely, right?" I mean Drax didn't mention anything about that."

"First, OMG, can you suck a load out or what? Secondly, the Cool Wheels Car Show is an annual event and annual events have traditions. Maybe Drax forgot to mention it or maybe he assumed you knew."

"OMG and SOB, is that why he told me to pack swimming goggles? I thought he wanted to go the indoor pool. Alright, what works better for you guys when you're drunk? Catching me coming out of the bathroom in just my undies or does it help you to rip my PJ's off?"

"It's just a guideline, but pretending that you fell asleep on the sofa with your PJ's unbuttoned works for us. And whatever you do, don't go to the ice machine at the end of hallway any time after 8 pm."

"OK. There, Mrs. Cranky is dropping her panties for you. Stuff them in your pocket and you can polish your hot rod with them later."

"Thank you, child."

"You're welcome Mrs. C and wipe your glasses off. Oh, or lick them clean if that's what works for you."

Oh, how glad am I that I reserved my own room. I will be contacting the seedy hotel later to make sure my room is on a different floor. I mean, all of my fem clothes are of nice quality and I don't own any swimming goggles, yet. Like I said, I'm not opposed to the circle jerk fantasy that guys have, but let me know what you want in advance please. I will need a little time to buy cheap PJ's and set up a camera.

"Remember Joey, Darla's Dungeon at 8 pm this Tuesday. And don't bring the half nylon stockings that Mrs. Cranky just stuffed in your cargo shorts pocket. They freak me out, but I will use her Granny Panties if they excite you that much."

I left Joey to suck on those freakishly short nylons and went back around to the front of the house and my eyes got so big. My SUV was sparkling and I think they painted it. I always thought that it came from factory painted Dusty Brown. Who knew it was bright and shiny white?

"OMG boys, my SUV looks great. What do I owe you? And we can skip over the "weekend preview" requests. Joey already explained the traditions to me and the best you're going to get is Option 3."

"Alright, but you still have a week to think about it. They sell goggles in the hotel gift shop."

Oh, well that might change things. We'll see. But Drax was right, I have five days to think about the proper pose for a three guys circle jerk and right now I need to think about talking to Brie tonight.

Not to argue with her, but to trick her into attending the car show with us between Friday afternoon and Saturday morning. Two things to my disadvantage are the fact that she usually works on Friday nights with her partner Jimmy J and the fact that it would be a Tranny pissing contest if we both get to walk around a bunch of car buffs in short shorts. My shorts are shorter but it's hard to compete with her bubble butt. And yes, we would be keeping track of each and every cat call and grope.

To my advantage, I will pull out the time warp card and remind her that given how she drives, she can leave the shady hotel at 9 am on Saturday morning and arrive in Middleton on the previous Friday about 4 pm.

If that doesn't work, I will throw out the risky little hotel party game she told me about once when she drunk. It seems that she heard of this secret Tranny game where you wear a blind fold, kneel on the hotel bed and leave the door open. Hah, I'll promise her 20 minutes of freaky stuff and a box of condoms on the bed as I hide in the corner or closet and video whatever happens.

End Didi Freckles Revealed 04