All Comments on 'Freaked Out Ch. 01'

Quite enjoyed the story, but you make it difficult to read with random punctuation. You shouldn’t use it to please the grammar police, but simply because it makes your story more pleasurable. If the reader stops and starts all the time due to commas and periods in the wrong place, a lot of people just give up. Look up the rules for speech, and read the story out loud, with quick pauses at commas and exaggerated pauses at periods - it then becomes obvious. Watch the typos: I loved sequenced for sequins... Keep writing; your descriptions of the characters are good.

Thanks. I appreciate the feedback. Working on getting better.