How I Became a Breeding Bull Ch. 11

"She said that if her partner experiences angst before her date, it is doubly hard for her to leave, and increases her own angst, but she'll go anyway after reassuring him. Why? Because she knows, that in the end, they are equally excited about her date, despite her simultaneous concern for her partner and their relationship.

"She describes herself as an introverted Cuckoldress, who is by nature, a calm, quiet person. She keeps a pristine, organized, peaceful home and loves her Zen. She likes living a simple life with few complications, barring those she cannot control. So when she gets irritable, it's usually a clear sign that something is amiss. And, if it is not illness-related or household problem-related, it has something to do with cuckolding. This means her angst is acting up again.

"Her irritability comes in the form of not wanting to be affectionate, even though she needs it more than ever, but she feels insecure, afraid of rejection and worried if he sees her the same way. She may be short-tempered or even yell, for which she hates herself and worries her partner will leave her. She might become lazy about doing her chores and taking care of herself. She starts suffering from insomnia because she's unsure if she's making the right decision for them. She needs to know that her partner still wants the same thing and that they are okay. Normally, his sexual arousal is a clear sign that they are great and that her date was a success for them, even if the date did not fulfill her needs. However, there are factors that add to it and there are signs to which her partner has become more attentive.

"When she feels, or she notices her partner feeling angst, she immediately makes time to reconnect with him, before problems crop up. She doesn't wait for problems to die down or go away on their own because it won't work. She practices what she calls the Three Rs.

1. Reassurance - Reassure your partner that you love him or her. Let your partner know that your relationship is stable, that you desire this exploration, and that you support and appreciate them. She realizes she walks a fine line doing what she does, and there are times when it gets to her. Sometimes, she needs a vacation from the act of cuckolding and time to be exclusive with her partner. At times, angst increases exponentially, so she needs him to be her only focus for a while. That's when she has to take Time to Reconnect

She needs reassurance that he loves her, that he truly wants and needs this as much as she does. Likewise, she needs to know that their relationship is as stable and healthy as she is working to keep it. There are times when she needs to not think or talk about cuckoldry for a while, to simply feel "vanilla" for a moment to catch her breath. It can be exhausting, especially as an introverted Cuckoldress, being sexy and "on" all the time, socially speaking. Whether she feels insecure, worried, or unsure of her decisions, reassurance is the best way her partner can support her. She appreciates it when her partner holds her close, even when it seems as though she doesn't want affection.

2. Ritual - Rituals add stability. Re-establish the connection you share. Take a compassionate, empathetic approach toward each emotion and concern expressed. Develop rituals for bonding, temporarily separating while she takes a lover -- if only theoretically, and reconnecting upon her return. She loves the simple rituals that her partner and she share before a date. These keep them connected as she prepares to go out for the night, or bring someone home with her. Then, they have another, deeply intimate ritual, to reconnect once she returns home or her lover leaves. Plus, they have special things they do on nights when she doesn't have dates with other men. Rituals keep them in a rhythm that adds to the stability and connection they feel with one another. She recommends creating regular date nights for the cuckold couple and to use this time to check in with one another. Discuss how you feel, how your relationship is going, and whether you wish to continue what you are doing.

3. Respect - Boundaries are important to any relationship dynamic, whether you are in a consensual or a total power exchange, or a monogamy or polyamory partnership. Respecting those boundaries and the people within them is vital to the health and well-being of your relationship.

"I wonder, if I could have considered your cheating as a cuckold would have. If I hadn't been so angry, and accepted your need to be with another woman on occasion, and welcomed you for coming back to me, and taken the approach to just take or make opportunities to reconnect after you strayed, if I would have been happier?"

"I don't know, Jeri. Even I knew I was asking a lot of you to ignore my infidelity, and I wasn't even that concerned about what you might have done, if you'd chosen to cheat. You're traditional. You weren't raised to think non-monogamous relationships are normal."

"Were you raised that way?"

"I don't think so. Maybe it's just a biological imperative I feel. Fuck one, fuck all."

"Yet, if I'm so traditional, what am I doing here now, fucking my ex regularly, while eating pussy and engaging in group sex?"

"You're not married, and you feel free to do stuff you couldn't do as a wife? I mean, before you met me, you slept with other guys, so sex itself wasn't an issue. You just believed that when you walked down that aisle, you've made a lifetime commitment. I thought maybe I could make that commitment, even though I had lots of doubts.

"Maybe monogamy makes sense for most people, who need to co-parent their offspring for them to be successful. I never saw much point in it. If fucking lots of people when you're single is so great, why give it up once you're married. The variety, the excitement, the hunt. Are you going to find your quarry, bring it down, and nail it? I feel like I'm addicted to the rush I get fucking someone new for the first time. Not like I don't want to fuck old friends who fit like a comfortable shoe. I just don't want to give up the hunt, and stop mounting panties on my wall, metaphorically."

Jeri laughed. "Maybe the hunt is different for males. I feel like I can bag almost anyone I want by lying down and spreading my legs. It's not much of a challenge."

"No, men are incredibly easy to get into bed," I laughed, "especially for someone who looks as fine as you do. Was there anything else we might need to consider with Phillip?"

"There was an article in Health, Inc. entitled, 'Everything You Need to Know About Cuckoldry'. written by Adrienne Santos-Longhurst, medically reviewed by Janet Brito, Ph.D, LCSW, CST. They believed it was closely tied to BDSM with overlaps like domination, submission, and humiliation. They agreed evolutionary biology might explain some of it. I already talked about this when I came up with my Aha moment, when Laura was talking about how much she knew Phillip enjoyed watching her have sex. The only other things that are added arousal factors besides sperm competition, is jealousy. Knowing someone else wants your partner, kicks your desire into overdrive, and makes you want them more. Sexual jealousy can be intense, motivating, and pretty arousing. Some researchers think that jealousy is also a part of what fuels sperm competition and gets a male ready to fight for the fertilization win.

"Then there's compersion, which is the flip side of jealousy, it's the happiness you feel from seeing your partner happy. I would think this is a big factor for Phillip. Knowing he can't be all that Laura wants, and wanting to see her achieve that pleasure, even if it's provided by someone else, such as a big dicked bastard like you. If Laura is happy fucking you, Phillip is happy you're fucking her. If she weren't, he'd be unhappy as well.

"Humiliation seems to play a leading role in cuckolding. It comes from the ridicule a person is likely to feel when their partner cheats on them, and that goes to the masochistic tendencies of cuckolds. For some people, humiliation ramps up the erotic intensity of the act. This can come from watching their partner with someone else, or some extra humiliation thrown in for good measure, like being laughed at or belittled by their partner and the bull."

"That was consistent with my readings, and part of the reason I took over Phillip's marital bed, essentially turning him into a second class citizen in his own marriage. I got the idea because Laura told me when they role played his cuckolding, his orgasms were more intense when she used a big dildo to masturbate, criticized the size of his cock and said he could never satisfy her sexually, even though she'd never felt unsatisfied, because she hadn't had much pre-marital experience. I played that up."

"The other factors mentioned are submission, surrendering the power of sexually pleasing your partner to someone else, and the taboo factor. Despite cuckolding being such a common fantasy, for men anyway, surrendering your wife to another men is still mostly taboo. The eskimos and south sea islanders are the only contemporary cultures I'm familiar with, where sharing a spouse was considered an honor to a guest, not a taboo. I doubt even they do it anymore.

"Physical pleasure from the sex, which is more common for the cuckoldress, who generally report they are more sexually satisfied, but even cucks report getting better and hotter sex with their spouse. It may revitalize a relationship that's gotten stale over time, the argument you made to Jacob on your phone call to him. The seven year itch factor, you called it. The consensus is that the majority of couples that partake in cuckolding tend to have excellent communication and intimacy. The willingness to share your deep desires encourages intimacy and brings you closer. The cuckoldress typically takes on a Dominant role, and I'm sure you can relate to that. Being Dominant seems to make you horny. Even though I didn't let you do much, you always seemed more revved up when you were in charge. The cuckoldress usually gets to have sex with others while the cuck remains loyal and doesn't get squat."

"I didn't think that was fair, but maybe Phillip would have been okay with it."

"About the only other thing I could add, is that in most cuckold relationships, it's the cuckold that initiates it; not the partner getting the most sex, so that seems to indicate whatever the cuckold does get out of the relationship, means an awful lot to them."

"Well, Phillip apparently initiated his. He'd been asking Laura to fuck other men from shortly after they were married. Since he didn't know he was infertile at the time, I suspect it was feeling inadequate as a lover, especially for someone who had no sexual experience in comparison. He must have felt she'd enjoy sex more with a better lover."

"Hey guys," Lily said, "I've swung by a couple times and you were involved in a deep discussion which I didn't want to interrupt, but it's getting late, and I want fucked."

"Join the club," Jeri said. "I'll let you have him first if we can nibble on each other's lady bits."

"Sign me up. You're going to enjoy having that plug in your ass when Brick plugs your cunt."

"So he tells me, but I always assumed it was to get me ready, so he could fuck my ass."

"That too," I admitted, "but my partners did tell me they enjoyed it."

"We're about to find out." Jeri got on her back. "Park yourself and let's get this show on the road."

She enjoyed it as much as everyone said she would, screaming quite lustily late in the evening.

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