by furrybert
The previous "reviewer" should have taken the time to actually read the story. Too bad. They missed a very well done tale that was original in many ways. I liked this one a lot.
OK so I've seen similar themes but how many really totally different stories exist anyways?. I liked this story it had more than enough depth to be interesting and action enough to keep it moving. Please Don't be put off by anonymous as*holes. Well done and thanks for the story.
No, seriously, this one is fantastic. Definetely one of the best stories I've read here. Thank you for such an interesting story, can't wait to read more from you!
burning with desire: everything that turns me on. I love the depth you gave the characters and their emotional turmoil for one another. I look forward to your future works of art.
Got my vote...10plus for sure. i was a little skimish over some parts even the painslut in me got a little again...skimish over some parts although the lil painslut in me loved it too. Being female this is not my normal type of story but, i did love this one. It had great depth and emotion as well as some great hot sex...and yes, even love, although some of the "norms" wouldn't see it that way. please continue on. You are very talented. respectfully fan in Texas
WOW! what a fabulous and well written story! I really loved this, had to read it ticw--darn!! I was nearly ashamed how hot it made me because it appealsed to me on so many levels--well done! I passed it on immediately!
I started to read this expecting some typical, over in a few paragraphs story, and was totally immersed in the read by the end of the first 4 paragraphs! I was actually excited at the end of page one to see how many pages there were!
1)the writing is dead on excellent. you have talent for both characters and dialogue hard to find in this genre.
2)original....I hated some of the painful moments, I mean the brutality definitely had me queasy as a female reader, but geez, you knew how to keep the reader on edge. I felt that they both had 'jobs' to do, so this was anticipated pain, and not just pain because of some hatred of women. I liked how you made both Sasha and her so strong, so deep, so emotionally conflicted even with their 'jobs'.
3)I have to go back to dialogue...so few writers get how dialogue, when well-written, can make you hotter than any of the rest of the story. when there is good dialogue, how he calls her baby, and you can almost hear that masculine, eroticism, her fear mixed with desire, geez, that's so hot.
I would punctuate it with continued descriptions of what they are doing...ie, one thrust, two thrusts, she writhed, and pulled her legs up higher on his back...that can only make it better.
4)this is what I mean by how GREAT you wrote: "You're mine," he growled. "Say it." She did as he asked. "I'm going to fuck you so hard you scream for me like this every night. Do you understand?" She did. "And nobody else is ever going to touch you, do you understand that?"
OMG! You GET the idea of true nonconsent/reluctance...wanting something you shouldn't...wanting to be completely someone else's obsession to the point of exstacy. wow.
5)one other slight critique...just describe your leads a little more. I would have loved to read more about thier appearance...her hair color, her eyes, her physicality, his attributes, what did he feel like to her when he enters her, big? wide? how turned on were they to one another's bodies/minds? The only thing that would have made their first scene even hotter was if she had been a virgin!
I PRAY you continue their story!!! I want more of them. He has other ways to make her his yet....he wanted her anally, I can definitely 'see' him dominating her thru doggie style. I imagine him as a jealous man. Would love to see him work for her same agency, or somehow see her in danger and him have to save her. These characters you created are simply the best that the reader just NEEDS MORE!!! Please continue!! what will she be like for him when they are in civilaztion...when they have the trappings of sensuality, hot clothes, nice car, better location....seeing her in a dress, eating out...what will these two be like?
I also loved that you got that the 'smut' moved the story along....it wasn't just for smut's sake, it seemed to contribute to the growth of these characters raw need for one another. Perfect really.
will be waiting anxiously to read more of your work...soon!
that was like so good, i dont normally read long stories, but wow
Longer than normal, but the talent shone!! great story.
The story was recommended by another reader.
Rather refreshing to have a real story unfold after the main event... And everyone loves a classic good guys vs. bad guys episode! Well written - thanks for not killing me with bad grammar!
...I personally don't ever want to be used quite like this. Just a little pain, please. But this twisted love story kind of just took me over. I found it hot and exciting even when I was squeamish over the violence. Very, very well done. Write something longer and have it published. I'll buy.
Loved this! Am still hot from reading it, though personally would rather not be hit hard.
I loved this story! Very hot, and there's just something so appealing to me about such a brutish man having actual fondness for his victim...Keep up the good work!
Great stuff... desperately hot, immensely readable. Well done, very well done!
that story was fuckin amazing i mean its like im going from being on the edge of my seat from the intensity of the story to sopping ass wet from the hot sex in it..your amazing..please keep them coming!!
That was awsome. I have never read anything like that. One mintue im wanting her to kick his ass the next i want them to be togehter forever. and the lust between the too of them was so intense, that at the end i even freaking cried when he told her to stay with him and that he loved her. well done keep the stories rolling.
I loved that she wasen't just some weak little tramp being used. She actually kicked his ass right back. Huzzah for the alpha subs!
I simply couldnt make myself stop reading!
This far surpasses, not most, but all, of the stories Ive read, and even alot of the published stuff too. I usually dont leave comments, and I dont really do compliments, but your writing is disturbingly addictive.
Im speachless, breathless, thrilled and horny as hell!
Thank you for writing. :)
wow. youre story made me so hot. ive a serbian boyfriend sxevo and his twins names sasha :) hehe wish they were more like your guy. loved it x
It's too good to stop, please continue with this great story! Sex is crazy hot!
I never knew I could be such a sucker for violence - if applied correctly. What a hot, hot read! You really managed superbly to blend elements that conventionally would not go together.
Please, please, pretty please, write a sequel to this story! I simply must know how these two continue with each other.
Certainly I will not be able to sleep tonight. I will crave a man like Sasha, but at the same time think about how a man like him could ever possibly redeem himself. For it is surly sinful to crave someone like him.....
Just loved it and hope for more. Thanks!
Incredible and unexpected blend of passion and violence. I had no idea the two could be melded together so deliciously. I am hooked. Please write more... but NOT about these two characters. I enjoy their story just as it is.
Many thanks.
I absolutely loved this story, it was really hot and really cute at the same time. Awesome work!
that was absolutely AMAZING!! i loved it!! i cant wait to read a sequel about the two of them!! please write more!!
amazin!! such an amazin story i was so hot 4.. luved everythin an want there tu b anotha! keep ritin!!! love it love u xxxxxx
No complaints at all. I had no idea something that harsh would have got my pulse raising and blood flowing. This story is one of a few i have read. It is BY FAR better then any story i've ever read.
Bravo!!!!
More more more more!!
- Cj
LOL ok, well this is the first comment i have ever written, and if you dont believe my title.. just listen to the sound of my toy now ; )
It's so hard to find a story that can keep my interest. It was actually hard for me to decide if I wanted to masturbate to it or keep reading, so I had to do both!
PLEASE keep up the good work!!!
This is a hot read! I found it in the top lists and began reading the 1st page, by the time I got to the bottom I couldn't stop reading!
I agree with one poster here, please describe your characters more, I helps in our part. But, other than that, the story was fast paced and VERY complete.
I truly enjoyed your use of narative, the fast pace, and the eroticisom your tale invoked. This coming from a womans perspective...I doubt many of us would enjoy being punched in the face once, let alone repeatedly, but somehow you made this story work. I only have 3 negs to share. One, for me the use of the word "arse" instead of behind, ass, cheek, etc...was a real turn off; it didn't blend with the nature of the story, and sounded too cute in a down home country sorta way. LOL Two, you left Sue entirly to the imagination as to her looks. And 3, you honestly did leave the anal assult till later...it never came! Aside from my personal little gripes, you really hit the mark, and I don't think it would be a stretch to say that you could do this professionally.
Happy Writing,
Badhabit530
not many get the mix between violence and passion right, but this was spot on! a really amazingly hot read and one of the best stories i have read so far. please write more stories like it!
This is the best story I have read so far on this site! In a way it reminded me of an historical romance, but with raw passion and violence. As another reader (a woman like me) mentioned the beating and specifically the punches to the face, I am not too sure about, but overall kept me wet and unable to stop reading. Please keep writing, your very talented.
That was amazing! It wasn't corny like most of these stories are and I really fell in love with the characters. The ending really made me feel satisfied! I am going to look for more things by this author. Oh and did I mention that it was SO SEXY?!?!
This is my perfect fantasy, in 5 pages.
I could not stop reading.
Write again, please, for the good of the world.
I was very impressed with your writing. The story is extremely erotic, and this might be an odd comment, but thank you for taking the time to use language well. Bad writing really distracts from the story. I also don't think that you should describe the characters physically anymore than you did. This way we can all imagine what we find most attractive. It was nice not to have a typical blond, D cup female character for once. I think such blunt descriptions would have taken away from the eroticism of the story. Both characters were extremely sexy.
You managed to capture one of my deepest fantasies so perfectly! And so well written. Bravo!! Must go beat off now!
Everyone else has already echoed my sentiments, but I have to say that this is the best damned story on this site! Just incredibly well written--bravo!
I loved this story. It is the best I have read to date. Please, please continued submitting.
Thank you,
really great literature. think about trying to publish some of your work. great job!
Hot, hot, hot. I don't usually read stories in this genre, but I needed something new... and what a perfect way to start.
This is the only story on the site that I've read multiple times, and I'll most likely end up reading it again. Looking forward to more from you! Don't keep us waiting too long.
Thanks for the story- it made me a bit sad, but the ending made up for it.
Absolutey loved it! It kinda reminded me a bit of a series I watched once. Nicely done!
I love this story. I have never read so much violence mixed in with sex and it is surprisingly a real turn-on. I woul love to see more with these to characters. How about what they are going to do next?
I havent been so glued to a story in a long time....it left me wet ans heaving...marvellous!
I absolutely loved this story! I read the whole entire thing! Kudos.
i loved this story. please take the time to do a follow up even like a series. the story line is great!
this was so great I even turned down helping my hubby grill. just something that I couldn't leave alone. and YES - please do a series!
Sasha was the sexiest, most well-developed villain character I've read here. Great story, couldn't tear me away from it. Left me hot and wanting more!
Amazing work; I have difficulty believing that you are not an employed author. Please, please share more of your work!
This is one of the few I've read that have really stuck with me. The characters have haunted my fantasies long after reading it. It certainly begs for a series!
Incredible story, I don't generally enjoy reading Erotica for the content and characters but this story blew me away. The characters were so real and alive, the hatred mixed with raw desire... Stunning.
Mills and Boon watch out, you're a romantic novelist. You write very well and your descriptions are great! Thanks for five great pages!
I hope you're some famous writer somewhere out there, because if you're not, you should write a manuscript, submit it, and get paid! This was amazing! I've read this story about 10 times already and it is purely genius! I hope you continue writing.
What an excellent story! I love the theme of the rapist becoming sympathetic to his victim, but that theme is rarely ever found in these stories. Great job. You are an excellent author!! I can't wait to read more of your stories.
I have to keep coming back to your story it is my favorite on literotica, please write more!
I dont think you need to hear more praising words, but I'll give some anyway. A very well done story, I loved it even better coz it's not as short as other stories. With your talent/skill I believe longer stories would be even more fascinating to read.
Leave Hunted be coz it's already been ended perfectly. I can't wait to read your other stories:)
You have such an amazing talent-you made me squirm with pleasure and discomfort. You made these characters so real. It's more than I could ever have asked for in an erotic story as it's so much more than sex. The way you bring the reader in and make them care for the characters is something that could never be taught. Well done!
This has to be one of the best stories i have read on Literotica. Not only is it truely erotic but has a fab story line too, very well wrote and look forward to reading more!!
*Sensual Distress*
I LOVE erotic storylines with sexy dominant men and yours is by far one of the best I've read. Thank you for such wonderful writing and please publish more like this!!
Oh my God, that was such an incredible story. If only they were all like that. You really breathed life into your characters, and let us see into their minds. I loved how Sasha was so scary and dominant but how he didn't want to scar her. I especially loved the line about being held down and fucked by a killer...killer is such a delicious word. I look forward to reading more!!!
~Kim
This truly is erotica. Thank you so much for not ignoring the other parts of the story besides the sex.
WOW. I do not give idle praise, but wow this was incredible. Your attention to detail, your scripting... it all came together flawlessly. And there was not a grammatical or spelling error in the piece, which earns you bonus points in my book!
That was amazing! And such a good story to go along with it. It wasn't just mindless fucking. I enjoyed it a lot! Great job!
Love it! I want more stories about these two! Absolutely incredible!
OMG ... I really liked this story. I had to remember to keep breathing during most of it.
Hot DAMN! THat was amazing. Thank you, it was a pleasure to read. <3
I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THIS STORY BECAUSE I AM BOSNIAN AND THOUGHT IT WAS VERY SEXY.PLEASE WRITE WHAT HAPPENS TO SUZZANE AND SASHA WHEN THEY START LIVING TOGETHER AND OF COURSE DON'T FORGET TO INCLUDE TONS OF HOT LOVEMAKING.
Very engaging characters and awesome weave of the sex scenes into the plotline.
Non-consent isn't usually my cup of tea, but you had me hooked from beginning to end. Bravo!
One of the best written pieces I have seen for a long time. I got so absorbed into the piece I forgot I was reading and became part of the piece. Details very vivid and clear.
Very well written!! Like a novel, but smuttier [:
Eloquently written and very descriptive, with vivid imagery. Not your run of the mill "wham-bam-thank you ma'am" non-consent peice.
I loved it, and hope to see more from you soon!
WOW def. not your usual hit and run. excellent work...it was INCREDIBLE!!! was absorbed from the beginning. OMG!!! IT WAS GREAT!!!!
absolutely incredible!!!!!!!! i was totally takin in within the first paragrah. my heart was racing and i just had to finish the entire story. beautifully written, i loved it.
Fantastic!!!! I loved how he dominated her from start to finish. Great job!
Both characters where beautifully written and from an erotica standpoint this is top notch. This story is one of the best, if not the best non consent .. hell, erotic story I've every read.
Best story I've read on Literotica.
MistressDarkness
I have never read an erotic piece that had me from start to finish the way this has. It was true erotica in a world full of cheap unsatisfying porn. Thank you.
This story contains every element of every fantasy I've ever had and a lot of things that I didn't even know would turn me on. I thought I was the only person in the world who enjoyed thinking about these sorts of things. Now I realize just how hot it can be when it's described well enough. This is officially the best erotica I've ever read, and not just because it's like the author tapped into my own deepest darkest private thoughts, but because it's so well-written. I don't usually read erotica through to the end, but I just HAD to know what was going to happen to the characters! Bravo! Encore!
Very well written. Nice characters who never deviated from who they were. Excellent dialogue.
Incredibly well-balanced, and completely exciting. I wish furrybert had submitted more (maybe he/she is writing under another name?), because the two stories in the Hunted pair have what to me is the perfect balance between explicit and implicit, described and implied.
And I want to read more about Sasha. (Backstory, maybe--a prequel to the Hunted dyad.)
Great characters and story development. Wonderfully descriptive sex scenes. Best story I've read in quite a while!
this is the most amazing erotic story i´ve ever read.
you made me fall in love with the main character.
great job!!
This is the best story I have read on this site! I can not believe I satisfied my self and continued reading the next 5 chapters to the end!
Incredibly hot, fantastic characters. Please, more!!!