Indrani's Sexual Journey

My name is Indrani. I am a thirty-two-year-old mother of one born and raised in Northern India. I come from a privileged family and know that some of my work colleagues would describe me as 'a posh bitch'.

Although my husband is loving and kind, he is also innocent, meek and submissive.

Neither of us had any sexual encounters before our marriage. We were both very naïve and from very strict conservative families.

After giving birth to my son I had a lot of free time and discovered erotic literature. The more I read the more I realised how much more there was to sex.

Despite my hard, 'posh bitch', exterior I realised that deep down I was submissive. I started to masturbate regularly and fantasize about being humiliated and degraded before being taken roughly by dominant men.

This resulted in the rapid realisation that sex with my husband would never give me what I secretly yearned for.

I am quite petite with large breasts and would often feel embarrassed when men, either passing by or work colleagues stared at them. Despite feeling embarrassed and having now learned a lot from the erotic stories I started to realise that these men were mentally undressing me, wanting to see my naked breasts and probably wanting to have sex with me.

This realisation grew into what I guess was a fetish. I desperately tried to suppress the feelings but, with increasing regularity, I would become aroused and wet each time I caught a man gazing at my bust. My imagination would run riot as I imagined him molesting me, mauling and groping me before using me for his gratification.

The following is an account of how I lost my naïve innocence and realised many of my fantasies.

For those who are interested I am five feet three and weigh around 130lbs.

I have shoulder length black hair and my measurements are 34DD, 30, 32.

I keep my pubic hair fully shaved for hygiene reasons and have long dark sensitive nipples.

My main release from sexual arousal was no longer achieved making love with my husband but when alone in my bedroom. Having been at work all day and noticing how many men would gaze at my breasts I would often arrive home aroused and wet. Whenever my husband was not there I'd go to my bedroom and take off my clothes. Even the act of undressing would fuel my fantasy as I imagined I was being forced to strip while being watched by one of the men from work. I would then lay on my bed and toy with my long nipples while following imaginary instructions to spread my legs wide for the man to gaze between them.

My imagination was such that I could feel genuine humiliation as I spread my legs to expose my genitalia. I'd then run my hand down over my soft belly to my hairless pubis and then down between my open thighs. I'd toy with my outer labia, running my fingers lightly over the moist flesh while still using the other hand to toy with one of my nipples. With my eyes closed I would imagine it was the man's fingers toying with my labia, teasing my soft flesh and then delving between them into my wetness. I'd repeatedly brush over my clitoris, feeling my orgasm rapidly building before plunging two fingers deep inside myself as I imagined it was the man taking me ruthlessly until my orgasm peaked and my naked body writhed in ecstasy on the bed.

After a while and wanting to experiment further I started to use a carrot as a substitute penis. I remember blushing in the shop when I realised that my main criteria for choosing carrots was their size and suitability as a penis substitute rather than their nutritional value.

The first time I used the carrot, despite being alone, I felt shy and awkward as I pushed the vegetable up between my moist lips into my vagina. Perhaps it was those feelings of shyness and awkwardness, but my resulting orgasm as I fucked myself with the carrot was the best I had ever experienced.

It wasn't long after using the carrot that I decided to pluck up the courage to buy a dildo.

This was all very new to the naïve me but having read about their existence I felt excited as I typed 'dildo' into the search engine of my laptop.

I never realised how many variations there would be to choose, from straight forward candle shaped ones to life-like penises complete with scrotum.

I eventually chose a semi-realistic one. Just the penis like shaft with a realistic looking exposed head.

My husband was away for a few days on business so I hoped and prayed that the dildo would be delivered without him knowing.

Much to my relief it was delivered a few days later. Although in a plain box I blushed as I signed for it as if the postman knew what it was.

I took it inside to my bedroom and quickly unwrapped it. It was bigger than I had been expecting; much larger than my husband's penis.

I ran my hand up and down the shaft, running my fingers around the realistic ridge under the head. I then gripped the shaft, feeling its girth and at that moment felt an overwhelming urge to try it out.

I quickly stripped and lay on the bed. Gripping the dildo, I ran the head over each of my nipples, imagining it was a strong and dominant man about to ravage me. I then ran the head of the dildo slowly down over my body and felt the wetness between my legs increasing with the anticipation.

Opening my legs, I ran the head down between my oozing labia. With my eyes closed I visualised this imaginary man, strong and muscular, pinning me down on my bed as his large erect penis pushed between my vaginal lips.

I repeatedly teased my wet slit with the head of the dildo, brushing it over my clitoris, feeling my arousal building rapidly.

With my free hand I played with one of my nipples and squeezed my breast. I visualised my imaginary man towering over me, roughly mauling my breasts knowing I was at his mercy and he would take me at any moment.

With my nipples tingling, I could resist no longer. I plunged the dildo up into my wetness, feeling its girth as it stretched me wide open. I then thrust the dildo in and out as I imagined being taken ruthlessly; fucked without mercy.

My orgasm quickly took over my whole being. My body convulsed on the bed as I used this new toy to give me the best orgasm I had ever had.

Afterward I felt guilty, perhaps even ashamed but I knew I was too weak not to use it again.

Having eased the dildo, glistening with my juices, out from between my legs, I took it to the bathroom and washed it. I then got rid of all the packaging and hid the dildo in its own storage bag at the back of my wardrobe.

My dildo kept me sexually satisfied for a while but then, completely uncharacteristically, something happened at work that would change me for ever.

Raju The Tea Boy

After graduating at a premier engineering college, I started work at an international software company in Gurugram, Northern India. The company employed a couple of young men to serve the staff with water, coffee or tea during the day. I would not normally talk to young men from such a lowly social class but one of them, Raju, was always very friendly with a cheeky grin.

Whenever he saw me, he would greet me formally with 'namaste', with his palms held together and holding his fingertips at chin level, nodding his head with respect. This very formal and respectful greeting was always juxtaposed with him gazing blatantly at the swell of my breasts.

As I mentioned earlier, I always blush and feel embarrassed but often become aroused when I see men looking at and appraising my figure. As time went by Raju became part of my masturbatory fantasies.

Despite my growing frustration at my boring sex life I yearned more and more to experience some of the erotic things I had read about. However, the thought of being unfaithful to my husband was always my main reason for not pursuing an illicit affair.

My masturbatory fantasies always centred on being forced, submitting, having no choice. I assume that what I was doing was building a mental defence, an excuse for being unfaithful by insisting to myself that I had no choice.

Despite my natural shyness I started to become a little bolder with Raju. As the months passed by, I started to accentuate my bust by holding my shoulders back each time he greeted me. The first time I did it I blushed furiously and averted my eyes from him but could not fail to notice his huge grin.

I awoke one morning after a restless night full of erotic dreams feeling more aroused and submissive that usual. Deep down I knew that somehow, despite my shyness, I wanted to instigate something with Raju or at least try to tempt him to try something with me. I could not continue denying the powerful desires that were haunting me.

It was a Friday, the last day of my working week. I dressed in dark pants and a floral-patterned shirt. I chose to wear a black lace bra beneath the shirt. I knew that the bra would show through the shirt and would never normally dream of going to work dressed like that but, as I checked myself in the mirror, I knew that Raju would notice immediately.

Having arrived at work, I felt self-conscious about my choice of clothing. During the journey I had noticed a few men had gazed at my chest which had had the usual effect of both embarrassing me and, at the same time, arousing me.

I hadn't been at my desk for long when Raju appeared with some coffee. He greeted me as usual and then I watched his gaze fix on my chest. It lingered longer than usual before he grinned broadly and hurried away. I wasn't sure what I was expecting of him but felt disappointed. As the day passed by, Raju brought me further drinks and each time, I caught him looking at my chest.

Knowing that the day was drawing to a close and Raju would be bringing me my last drink of the afternoon I decided to be braver with my naïve attempt to prompt him into doing something. I glanced shyly around the office and, confident that nobody was watching, I unfastened the top few buttons of my shirt. It did not really reveal anything, but I hoped it looked a little more seductive. As I unfastened the last of the top buttons I looked up and gasped with surprise, blushing furiously as Raju was standing directly in front of my desk.

He passed me a glass of water and said with his usual cheeky grin, "Indrani, you look very nice this afternoon."

I found myself subconsciously pushing my chest out as I replied, "thank you Raju."

The remainder of the afternoon passed quickly. I began to realise that I had been foolish to think that Raju would risk his job by trying something on with me.

Oh, how wrong I was!

Normally, Raju would come and collect my empty water glass before I left for home. Today, it was still on my desk. I guessed that he had been busy and decided to help him by taking it to the small room where he prepared the drinks for the staff.

The door was open, and I could see Raju washing some cups in a sink.

He heard me as I entered and turned to face me. He looked more serious than usual as he took my empty glass and said, "Indrani, I don't know what to do."

"What do you mean?

"I'm scared of losing my job," he replied.

"Why, what have you done?"

"It's not what I've done, it's what I am about to do," he replied.

He slowly walked toward me, staring constantly at my chest saying, "you've been teasing me all day, pushing out those big breasts of yours and unfastening the top few buttons of your shirt."

He was now directly in front of me as he reached sideways and pushed the door closed.

I felt the familiar surge of submissive arousal as he pushed me back against the wall. Before I could react, he reached toward me and started to unfasten my shirt saying, "most of the other guys think you are a bitchy cock teasing snob, but I have always recognised something else in those dark mysterious eyes of yours."

I weakly protested, saying, "somebody might come by and catch you molesting me."

He just chuckled as he unfasted the last few buttons of my shirt and said, "Every day you tease me by thrusting out your chest. Now I'm going to see what you have under that shirt and you will not stop me."

He unfastened the very last button then pulled the shirt wide open to reveal my black lace covered breasts.

He then pulled my shirt down off my shoulders followed by both shoulder straps of my bra. With another swift downward pull on my bra straps the black lace cups came down to reveal my naked breasts to Raju the tea boy.

He grabbed each one, roughly mauling them as he said, "your tits are even better than I imagined at home each night wanking while thinking of you."

I just stood there passively as he groped me, squeezing my breasts and pulling my long nipples.

I could feel the gusset of my panties soaking through with my juices, but I felt very nervous about being caught with the tea boy having his way with me.

He let go of one of my breasts, grabbed one of my hands and forced it down to the front of his pants; pressing my palm against the obvious bulge of his erection. His voice sounded harsh and breathless as he said, "unless you want me to fuck you right here in the room you had better do something quickly about what's under your hand."

He brushed my hand away from his crotch. I glanced down and saw him unzipping his pants.

Again, I meekly protested as I watched his ease out his erect penis.

"Just shut up and suck it," he commanded.

As he spoke, he put his hands on my shoulders, pushing me down until I was kneeling.

I'd only ever sucked my husband once and already felt out of my comfort zone as Raju pushed the head of his erection against my lips.

I tentatively reached up and gripped the shaft before licking the very tip.

"Pull my foreskin back Indrani and lick the head properly."

I did as he asked and initially felt disgusted by the taste of what I assumed was stale urine. This quickly faded as I continued licking.

He then reached down and pulled my hand away and pushed the head of his erection into my mouth. At the same time, I felt his hands grip my head as he started to thrust his erection back and forth in my mouth saying, "this is the last drink of the day for you Indrani."

I may have been naïve in terms of experience but because of my recent extensive reading I knew exactly what he meant.

The one and only time I had sucked my husband's penis I did not swallow his ejaculate. I remembered it felt kind of yucky in my mouth and I spat it out.

As Raju pumped his erection between my lips, I knew this time there would be no choice.

I felt a little scared as he forced more and more of his erection into my mouth. I could not back away because the wall was directly behind me and he was gripping my head firmly. I gagged a few times as the head of his erection crashed into the back of my throat.

I could hear his breathing becoming more urgent and his thrusts into my mouth becoming more and more urgent until he said hoarsely, "I'm going to cum."

I felt the shaft of his penis throbbing between my lips as the first splash of semen hit the back of my throat. He then pulled my head tightly up against him forcing his penis into my throat and crushing my lips against his pubic hair. I did my best to swallow the salty slime as it erupted in my throat and filled my mouth.

I thought that I might gag but he pulled back sufficiently for me to swallow his ejaculate. It was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be. In a way it reminded me of swallowing a fresh oyster although the salty slime felt warm rather than cold as it slipped down my throat.

As he eased his softening penis from my mouth I looked up and our eyes met. At that moment I knew that Raju was no longer just the tea boy. I saw an assertive coolness in his gaze as I knelt there submissively with my breasts exposed and the taste of his ejaculate still fresh in my mouth.

He grinned as he wiped the last few dibbles of his ejaculate onto my cheek and said, "next time Indrani, I'm going to fuck you."

It was pointless arguing with him. I knew that I had just crossed a boundary and there could be no turning back. I stood up, self-conscious of my naked breasts as he quickly put his penis away. As I pulled my bra up and fastened my shirt Raju grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled something.

I was about to open the door and leave when he passed me the note. It was an address which I recognised as being in a poor part of town.

Fucked By Raju

He then grabbed my arm and said, "be there tonight at eight."

"There's no way I'll be there," I said, trying to sound indignant.

He just grinned that cheeky grin of his, playfully slapped my backside, and said, "I'll see you later."

During my journey home I felt very guilty. I had betrayed my marriage. I could still taste Raju's ejaculate in my mouth.

When I arrived home, I felt relieved remembering that my husband was not there and was working late. I quickly undressed and headed for the bathroom to take a shower. As I pulled off my panties, I realised that the gusset was completely soaked; a guilty reminder of how aroused Raju's actions had made me.

I showered and cleaned my teeth, rinsing my mouth thoroughly.

Having towelled myself dry I walked back to my bedroom. I was still highly aroused and tempted to masturbate. As I went to retrieve my dildo from its hiding place, I remembered the piece of paper with the address on it that Raju had given me. I found the paper in my bag and, at that moment I knew that not only had I crossed a boundary, but I wanted more.

I put on fresh underwear and salwar kameez. Whether it was subconscious or not I'm not sure, but the tunic I chose to wear had a front fastening zip.

I scribbled a note to my husband explaining that I had to return to the office I then left and made my way to the address that Raju had given me.

I felt uncomfortable leaving our gated community and heading for a more deprived area. As I approached, I had to pass groups of unruly males. I felt nervous as some of them shouted out, commenting on my privileged appearance. As well as openly appraising my bust. Some of them shouted lewd comments like, "nice tits." Or "have you come here for a bit of rough?"

I'd heard reports of young women being sexually abused in this area and felt extremely nervous but weirdly aroused as I knocked on the door of the address that Raju had given me.

I felt relieved as he answered the door quickly, greeting me with his usual 'namaste' whilst looking directly at my bust and saying, "Indrani, please come inside."

I felt awkward as I entered the house and closed the door behind me, shutting out the noise from outside. After my experience that afternoon and Raju's assertion that the next time he would fuck me, I felt like I was a prostitute. My problem, if it was indeed a problem, was that the idea excited me. I knew that Just by turning up at Raju's house I had already agreed to whatever he had in mind.

Raju interrupted my thoughts by asking, "would you like a drink."

"Tea please," I replied.

I quickly realised that the house was tiny; just one room with an adjoining kitchen. The single room had just a small table and four chairs. The remaining space being taken up by a single bed.

Raju sat on the edge of the bed, looked at me and said, "in my house our roles are reversed Indrani."

I wondered what he meant as he continued, "in my house you will do as I wish. Now go and make us some tea."

I knew from the afternoon experience in his small room at work that Raju had easily identified my sexually submissive nature. Now as he ordered me to go and make the tea, I felt a thrill surge through me.

I rummaged around in the small kitchen but soon found two cups and made some tea. Bringing it back into the main room I handed one to Raju and joined him on the bed.

We sat in silence for a while drinking the tea until he said, "we both know why you are here don't we."