by JA068
Incredible! I am so glad the author has picked up this story. I am fortunate to have just discovered it so did not have to wait years for this chapter. The author has hit the mark with this story so far, in my opinion.
The repeated use of 'text talk', like "OMG and juvenile short lines made it difficult to take the story too seriously and parts of it felt really rushed with a distinct lack of depth, realistic detail & focus to the story. Though it had some better moments, this is average at best I'm afraid.
Slow the pace down, put some more effort into details and the characters in particular so they don't seem like they exist just for the erotic bits.