All Comments on 'Kelsi's Adventures Ch. 04'

There is something wrong with you, aside from the illiteracy.

I have to say, I like these kind of stories, but...

I read the comments from your earlier stories as well, and the whole structure and flow just destroys any enjoyment one would get, while reading this work. I will be harsh, but I have to say your sentence structure and punctuation is very primitive. You are jumping within the different tenses and cannot really imagine that you do not have to write down everything. Leave some place for thinking and imagination.

Or in case you want to tell the reader everything use a thesaurus and try to find another word than "then" and some other words.

Without glossing over too many issues, tell me what happens between Jordan and Kelsi in full detail recap of round 1 of their bondage sex.