All Comments on 'My Favorite Realtor Ch. 05'

The story is ok, you're obviously talented at plot and imagination and you spell check things mostly ok. But nearly a third of the paragraphs have comma punctuation issues and that is really distracting. Many superfluous commas and many odd idea fragments created by those commas. Hurts readability.

There are a few spelling errors ( eg. reliefer/reliever, kneeled/knelt, frist time I saw her...) and you make the Literotica classic error substituting clinch for clench at least twice (did she fasten something down to clinch it securely, or maybe settle something to clinch a victory, or did she CLENCH some muscles?).

I noticed similar things in previous chapters too. Good effort but the comma thing is a drag...don't know what to say except maybe a proof-reader could help? Try reading it out loud and pause for a few seconds at every comma and get a feel for if that pause is useful? Good luck.

I appreciate it the feedback. Honestly had no idea about the clinch/clench thing. Will look at that in the future. As for the commas, will also pay more attention to them as well.

I really enjoy your stories even though I really am a real estate agent and don’t imagine doing any of these things with any client. But that’s what this sire is all about. Fun fantasies that are unlikely and improbable to ever happen. It’s fun to read and that’s what matters. It’s ok to have a few spelling and punctuation errors on here as long as the narrative is clear and entertaining. Very few people on here are professional writers so hiring an editor doesn’t make sense. Even professionals make mistakes that paid editors would find and correct but they get paid to write. With that being said, I really like your writing and hope that you will keep writing and posting here.

Thank you, I appreciate it! I definitely will keep writing and posting here. This series is on going on another site, and I'm currently writing the 55th chapter. So, it'll be going for a while.