My Sister

I couldn't believe what she was saying.

"Jana, what are you saying...?" I looked at her in confusion and disbelief.

"I'm a terrible person..." She sobbed. "I dragged you into something I know you didn't want... and now I regret it."

"So..." I pulled away from her and looked at my sister, still a little confused. "All this time... it was just your game? Did you really plan it all from the beginning?

"I planned it all..." She sadly sobbed again, looking away from me. "I just didn't plan on... falling in love with you."

***

May, a year later...

"So your sister planned all this from the beginning?"

"Yeah..." I answered her, feeling desperate again as I remembered it all. "But she ended up regretting it..."

Mrs. Schovancova was silent for a moment. She was writing something down again while thinking until she lifted her head to look at me again.

"Were you just an innocent victim that she used to fulfill her dreams?"

"I felt that way at the time... but I forgave her in the end."

"Why?"

"Because I cared for her and still care for her. I'm still in love with her and it kills me inside every time I think about it."

Silence again for a few seconds.

"Tell me how did you react when she told you she seduced you?

"I reacted... quite calmly. Yes... I felt hurt, but on the other hand I understood how much she wanted her dream to come true. Personally, I even kind of liked and got excited about everything we did together. Just falling in love... neither of us had counted on that."

"And do you really regret all that now?"

"Well... sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. I don't regret loving my sister, I regret everything that had to happen before I realized it. So yes... I regret making that porn with her... but nothing else."

"Did she regret it too?"

"I don't know... she never said she regretted the porn... she just regretted using me."

"So what happened to everyone after that?"

"We didn't talk. I mean, I didn't talk to her because I really felt betrayed. But eventually, after a few days of silence, we talked and came to a decision... to break up. She suggested it because she didn't want to hurt me anymore... and even though I still loved her, I agreed to it." I swallowed hard. "She was gone the next day."

"All in all... you didn't like your sister. You made up and the next day she seduced you right away and you ended up in bed together. Then she convinced you to do porn with her and you agreed. What neither of you knew was how badly it would turn out for both of you, because you fell in love. Do I understand that right?"

"Yes..." I answered immediately.

"And your only regret is shooting porn together?"

"Yes," I replied again.

"Now you're feeling remorseful that it happened at all. Tell me... how would you have reimagined all this and what would you have changed if you could?"

I thought for a long time and often scratched my head.

"What would I change if I could? Our first time," I answered her normally.

"I don't understand?"

"Well... our first sex was rough... if I could change it... I'd have preferred to make love. Then maybe none of what happened next would have had to happen. If we had fallen in love at the beginning... things might have been different."

"I agree," she replied shortly, writing something down again. "So... I think I know how to work with you now. It would be good if we could meet once a week or so and work together to get rid of your regrets."

"That would be good..." I replied with a small smile.

We agreed together on the next appointment date for my visit and then I left.

But I knew I wasn't going to attend the next session. The only reason I spoke to her today was to relieve myself and to feel that I had told someone and who better than a psychologist.

***

It was time to take the final step. My love was so strong for my sister that it drove me crazy and I often sat on the bed in her room and thought of her with tears in my eyes.

But we broke up because we didn't want to hurt each other anymore. If we'd stayed together, we'd still be thinking about what happened.

I was done with porn and so was Jana. Eventually she realized it was wrong even though it was her dream. I told her she could do better and I wanted her to have a beautiful life. She couldn't have that in bed with her brother. That way she could find some perfect job, find a boyfriend to marry after her final surgery and they could live happily together and not have to hide anything from the world like she would have to with me.

As much as I wanted her to still be in my arms, it was just wrong and so today I planned to end it all and stop worrying about it. I told everything that was weighing on me to the psychologist, who I wasn't going to see again, nor was I going to see anyone else.

I was home alone. My parents were still at work and I took a vacation from my work. I had no plans to return to work. Today was really the end of everything for me.

With a sad sigh, I got up from Jana's bed and slowly walked out of her room, down the stairs, through the living room and into our kitchen.

I knew very well that our oven was not electric, but gas. So I flipped the switch and turned on the gas. I waited a few seconds, then opened the oven lid and climbed in with my upper body.

I laid my head comfortably on the baking sheet and just waited until it was over.

Now, if you're asking why I did this... it was because I couldn't live with everything that happened. I felt sick about it all, and even though I still loved Jana, I had to keep thinking about everything we did together and how wrong it was.

We didn't talk to each other for that whole year and we didn't even know about each other. But it was better for both of us. We blocked each other from contacting each other and tried to forget it all. I had no idea how my sister was doing, if she was also struggling like I was... but it was too hard for me and I wanted to finally be at peace and stop being devastated by it all.

I'm sorry sister... if you never came, none of this would have ever happened. But know that my heart will always be yours...

I closed my eyes slowly... and I just breathed........ and breathed............. and breathed..................

That was the end... of me and My Sister...

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Sorry for the sad ending, but there's one last part to come, so you don't have to be worried about everything going wrong.

I'm already writing the next part so you can look forward to the continuation soon and I'll be very happy if it will be nicely rated because I feel a bit bad about the rating of the first part.

I hope you enjoyed it and that you will want to read the final part - My Love.