Not Quite a White Knight Vol. 04.4

I figured there was a chance Irene might gut Joe Pope like a fish if she got him alone. She was carrying a ceramic knife. But it was a small chance so I lived with it.

Nia came to the wedding and was very sociable. She was clearly pregnant, she explained that her husband had died (in Detroit) of a heart defect and when she called I sent her help and I took her into my house. I was a former neighbor of them both. She said she was happy in my home, had a job as a driver and was very pleased to be here in sunny LA. She made me look very good, like a white knight.

Martin was there with both his wives, but honestly everyone took them as his daughters - either that or he was rich and therefore very interesting. Both wives were clearly raised in wealth and society outside the US: one in Spain and the other in a neighborhood in South America that acted like it was still in Spain. They spoke several languages and exchanged tales with some of the wives about their extended stays in Rio, Ibiza, Tenerife and the Alps.

In all, there were a total of 21 law firm lawyers, wives and wife-exchange partners present, and 21 who were not associated with the law firm. It was a good crowd for the reception.

-

In addition to the three physical gifts to Abril there was a fourth gift, one to make up for the fact that this was probably the only wedding she would know in her grifting life. To buttress Abril for her lack of support from friends and family, I gave her the greatest gift she could imagine during the ceremony, our vows.

Instead of the usual boring vows so many people take, or the flawed vows other people make up themselves, we reached into the past, to what some would call the most significant wedding vows in history. We recited, in the Old Medieval Castilian of the period, an abridged version of the wedding vows of Isabella I of Castile and her dear younger cousin Ferdinand II of Aragon, the Sainted Monarchs who, in marriage, united Spain for the Church in both the Old World, and the undiscovered New World. It was not an easy speech for Abril to memorize, but it was a labor of love. She treasured every syllable of the ancient Spanish. Abril told me it was the greatest of the all gifts I gave her, the one that truly won her heart.

I made this decision around the time of the explosion at the law office. I told Abril that, since speaking the old language had been so powerful for her in the past, it seemed a reasonable gift. When she realized what the words were she was overcome and cried her heart out to Cynthia, confessing every bad thought she had about me over the years and begging forgiveness.

"Such a gift is unreasonable," Abril said to me. "It is too much for my heart." She was starting to sound like Li. Cynthia and I both assured her that it was perfect for the ceremony, and if the lawyers didn't understand, so what? Under California law, a single witness is enough, and we had both Martin and Belen who understood the language since they were raised with them.

I admit to some concern that some of the the guests might twig to the vows, a few of them are very well educated. I was half-right. Jessica Stern came up during the reception and spoke to us in a bastard version of Old Medieval Castilian - as educators who know little declare it is pronounced today. She two courses at her university, which did not employ native speakers of the tongue, while I had grown up speaking it. (The Patrons, over time, were VERY concerned about maintaining the language, they were worse then the French.) Jessica said she followed most of what we said based on context, but could not really speak it smoothly herself, she learned it for reading. "The speech was very moving, was it from a poem of the time?" she asked in her ear-bruising form of the language.

"Something like that, it is an exchange Abril is very attached to it," I answered.

Jessica was stunned a few minutes later when she also heard Belen and Martin speaking the language fluently like they were born to it - which they were. She had a very quick ear and corrected some of her own delivery on the spot. She asked about taking them to a professor but they declined. Martin put it simply, "It is the language of our family community, we learned as children and don't wish to debate a professor who is convinced that he is right when he knows less than nothing."

Jessica did not disagree with that, truth in academia is often roadkill to conformity. She was surprised by their use of the word "community" in the context, it told her there was more to the story, but it also told her the door she wanted to peek through was closed.

Jessica loved mysteries, she saw a plot for a book and jotted some notes. Maybe Illuminati? Or the secret Knights of Malta? Maybe a guild. Maybe a secret war between two secret societies? There was a movie hidden there someplace.

-

During the ceremony there was one scripted "adult comedy bit" that was deliberate and went over well. As Do Wong, Li had the rings. She carried them inside her vest, in inside pockets that were resting on her breasts. When the time came she pulled out the Bride's ring from one side of her vest and gave it to me. I put it on Abril with the usual "With this ring..." words. Boring and expected.

Then when Li reached for the Groom's ring in the pocket on the other breast, Abril stopped her hand, saying "allow me, please." In front of everyone Abril reached into the bra-cup that made up Do Wong's vest, taking her time, and a little extra pleasant skin-to-skin contact, before she removed my ring from the inside breast pocket. Do Wong was visibly pleased by what Abril was doing in there with her nipple while everybody in the gathering watched. When Abril finally pulled the ring out Do Wong said, "thank you, my dear."

Abril replied, "No, my dear, thank you," and gave Li a lip-to-lip kiss that was both quick and passionate. Then she turned and slipped the ring on me.

The next line was "I now pronounce you..." followed by "You may now kiss the Bride..." After an excessive kiss, while the applause was still going, the celebrant tacked on "... and the rest of the bridal party." With that I kissed Li and Abril kissed Cynthia. Then we traded partners. People did not know if they should applaud, laugh or be shocked. There was a mix of all three.

It was a sexy bit of adult comedy that lightened the moment and, along with Rose's picture (which came later), would be talked about for years as "the story" about our wedding.

-

After the kiss-around we paraded out. Samantha gave directions, forming up a receiving line. The marriage space was quickly and efficiently converted to a reception area with drinks and snacks. Everybody was very happy to meet Cynthia and Do Wong. Various partners shared their opinion that our wedding had the most memorable ending of any they had ever seen.

They may have been talking about the kisses, or the rings.

Judge Stern asked what would have happened at the end if I had by best man instead of Do Wong. I said I picked the exact dates for both of us, so that was not going to happen. He actually laughed.

He did not know that Bente actually campaigned to sleep with me instead of her husband on her wedding night, wearing the White Scarf draped over her so this fact was proclaimed loudly to all who attended.

-

Rose Barnes took one very memorable picture, one worth the proverbial thousand words, and then some. The NSFW picture was posted, by Rose, on the law firm internal web site for a week. Samantha sent it to my phone and saved it for me.

In the picture I was standing behind Li's right shoulder, with my right hand cupping her breast under the vest. Her joy is evident. My head was turned to the right where Cynthia, looking transported in pure bliss, was pulling my lips close to share an intimate-looking kiss with her. Meanwhile Abril was on Li's left, embracing her with both arms - one around her shoulder touching me, and a second on Li's bare belly, with a few fingers below her low waistband. Li and Abril were sharing an open-mouth kiss. The picture was taken as their lips were just barely apart, but both tongues were visibly extended, touching. Well, they had done a lot of that in the last 24 hours. Rose used a hi-res professional camera, the light was perfect and every detail was there for this candid shot.

Besides posting on the internal web site, Rose sent a copy to me with the caption, "Naughty! NAUGHTY! Hottest wedding kiss EVER!!! I want some..."

There were also some emojis I did not understand. Cynthia read them but would not share the specifics with me, she blushed and said I wasn't old enough yet. I almost took her over my knee for a spanking. Rose had used a secret set of emojis used by wealthy tech-savvy LA schoolgirls (MTSS or Millionaire Teenage Slut Society) the last couple years. She said they had alternate meanings but suggested something about the wedding night involving Rose, blindfolds, and folks sharing handcuffs in pairs in unusual and obscene ways. "I am not sure handcuffs would fit THERE," she said.

Several lawyers wondered where my left had was at the time the picture was snapped. If you looked at the picture you might imagine it was on Li's butt in her pants. I mentioned the Fifth amendment when asked.

When the picture was snapped we were just relaxing together, celebrating our success, in what we assumed was privacy. We had just made a show of signing papers for the wedding photographers. We did not expect pictures, Rose had just snuck in back and was very fast.

-

In July when Li got her car I had filed papers with the law firm saying that it was a gift from a distant relative in China. To Barnes this meant I knew a rich Chinese man. So at the wedding Barnes approached Li's mother, dressed as a man, and asked how he knew "the bride and groom." Chin said he was the uncle I mentioned. Barnes then apologized that Li was not at the wedding, he would have made an exception if her knew.

Chin put his mind at ease, saying he fully understood what Li did. "You puritans... She has a good job to safely support herself," all because Barnes had an idea to increase productivity. "You should be proud of your idea. Productivity is important, we in China would starve without it. I can understand why wives of your partners might not wish to associate... that is a problem with your wives, a cause for education, but perhaps you are wiser to avoid such conflict. We in China are raised to follow rules, not debate them. The Red Guards showed the folly of that."

Barnes thought, "this is an enlightened man."

Judge Stern came over and Barnes introduced "Mr. Chin, a relative of Li," to him.

Chin shook hands with Stern. "Yes, we are relatives who were lost in the turmoil. When I found them... I made a small gift. Mother and daughter... those two knew how to say 'thank you' properly, even to a relative. The younger danced for me, it was very nice, while the mother used other skills."

Judge Stern said that it was not what he would call a "small gift" but he said that it was good to find family that was lost.

Chin continued with both men. "David, I see you have Rose, a beautiful daughter. Judge, the same to you. I understand that they also contribute to productivity in a manner not unlike Li... Once a month all night instead of 40 hours each week, but the underlying logic is pure. Many would draw a line at family, but they would be fools or hypocrites."

Barnes was not sure how to take that comment, it sounded like the man called Rose a whore, but praised him for it. Objectively Barnes saw it was a valid viewpoint but it was not one he had considered. He realized that, like Samantha had opened his eyes in so many ways, maybe the white male viewpoint of the "David Barnes world" could do well with some expansion and broadening.

Stern just mentioned that Jessica was not "his" daughter. "She is my step-daughter, from my wife before we married."

To change the topic Stern then asked about Do Wong. "Do you know her by any chance? I know it is unlikely, but I heard her manager was in town."

Chin said, "I wish I did know her better. In the US you have differences between the states, such things as gun laws, marriage ages, bail rules and others. Even the treatment of different racial and religious groups... like Mormons and polygamy. It is in your Constitution... rights not mentioned are reserved... full faith and credit... these things are genius."

Both men were naturally inclined to preach the uniformity of the law in the US, but with the examples mentioned they had to agree with what Chin said. Plus, he had the right phrases from the Bill of Rights.

"In China it is the same, the difference is that the nation feels it must enforce the uniformity in each culture's regions. Like in the South, when there were lynchings in the past, your Federal government was slow to take action, it was a state matter. In China, we suffered the Red Guards, life as a Soviet puppet, and perpetual starvation, so we can't afford to wait. Part of the process is culture. But maybe not arbitrary states. For example, China allows polygamy in some regions... and for the wealthy, of course. Here, your states bully Utah. Where your Madonna from Detroit can show her body naked everywhere in 'Body Of Evidence,' our Do Wong cannot. She performs her shows in the west of China, where the ethnic group has a different culture, values and language from, say, the densely populated warmer regions of the country near what you once called Canton. In west China the enemy culture is intolerant religion, women are not allowed to contribute to productivity in many ways. Entertainment like Do Wong's sweating naked body in the spotlight at the end of a show, singing on stage standing on the backs of two ponies, leading 120,000 screaming ethnic Mongolians and Uyghurs, who have sworn in the past to kill each other, but now moving with her, united in a Chinese anthem... it is a powerful weapon against this religion... also against the Bear. As powerful as the Scorpions and Metallica were against the Soviets. But in China, such power must be managed, so her live shows are only allowed in those western regions. Also, we do not export of this culture like you try to do, with Madonna singing "Like A Virgin" in a live TV show while acting like a dirty whore. I fear you have allowed the dragon of culture out of the cage. People do less productivity and want more social media followers as they do stupid skateboard and dance stunts. They spend all their time staring at their phones. Soon media influencers, validated and paid based on 'clicks' and 'followers' will supersede quality and productivity in dictating business success. That will be a sad day for all, as your standard of living will inevitably decline."

Chin had picked her examples with care to get Barnes and Stern thinking. The boatload of arguments were certainly not all they appeared to be. But at a wedding reception, a point-by-point political debate was not appropriate. So the men agreed that Chin gave them something to think about, especially the moral equivalence of Li and Rose.

Both men had to think. Did something need fixing? Maybe the service girls deserved to come to the socials? Maybe, if they did, there would be more dances like Abril and Samantha doing "Whiter Shade Of Pale," which many partners still saw in their minds when they needed a certain lift. Perhaps with fewer clothes on.

David Barnes was going to lose some sleep over the coming weeks because of this talk as he wondered how change might be done to get more productivity.

-

Immediately after the reception I went to Van Nuys airport to catch a charter plane. Chin, Brisk, Corum, Qwit and Irene drove with me from the wedding. Others, like Vrir were already at the airport. Some Tribe members from Detroit had flown into LA last night and had come from the mansion. We did not need all these people, but the Five had tried to kill their Chief, my grandfather, and they all wanted to help if there was any need. So the Patron charted an airplane for a round trip, flying to Peru Saturday night and returning Wednesday morning.

-