All Comments on 'Perfect Bimbo Slut'

Fun story. Recommend telling it from just one perspective. Either him or her

More backstory on the 2 main characters would have made this better. It started as if she didnt know who, where or why she was there but there was no follow up on this. Build the story up more. With the sex slow down and give more description to the moves, the logistics of the group. Talk more about what the wives/gfs are doing. Is the main character freely using the other women? Are all his friends kinky and bdsm friendly or are they vanilla?

The idea is hot but the writing is very amateurish. Dialogue isn't separated by line. One paragraph was multiple lines of dialogue, all tagged "he said" "she said." Story idea is good, you just need to learn how to write better.