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All Comments on 'Sapphic Tournament Ch. 01'

by Musclebaby

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SirDigbyChickenCaesarSirDigbyChickenCaesar9 months ago

Alright start, but a bit rushed. It describes the -acts- clearly enough, but doesn't really get into the characters' emotional states. Let yourself linger, don't just tell us what they feel but -make us feel- what they're feeling, and it'll be a much stronger story.

AnonymousAnonymous9 months ago

More from Hannah and Jennifer please!

Who’s at the door?.

MusclebabyMusclebaby9 months agoAuthor

Thank you. I really feel the same about it. I feel like I’m rushing myself because I’m afraid of wasting time. I do appreciate the feedback. I hope I can put the advice to good use. My second chapter is pending right now, so I hope to work it in for the third.

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userMusclebaby@Musclebaby
6 Stories
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Hello all of you who’ve come to read my writing. I’m honored you’ve chosen to read more about me. I’ve been writing as a hobby for years, and I really love it. I wrote erotica periodically for a while, but when I became involved with my Mommydom, she nurtured this hobby. So wi...