Sisters of the North Sea Pt. 03

Eawynn dressed herself and Vidar did the same. When they were ready, Vidar tried to get Eawynn to eat breakfast. Eawynn refused, so they continued on with the day without eating. Vidar again took Eawynn's hand, and led the way, as he walked out of the house and towards the village.

Winter was quickly approaching, and the previously orange and red aspen trees now seemed less vibrant. Eawynn still looked at the world in wonder. She had not been properly outside for weeks, so a walk through the village was more than welcome.

Vidar took Eawynn towards Magnus' house. This time it was an older woman that opened the door. She looked elegant and gracefully aged. More than anything else, she looked like Magnus - dark haired and dark-eyed. Her features were sharp and thin, just like Magnus'. She kept her hair in an elaborate bun adorned with golden clasps.

"It's so good to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you, child," said the woman warmly. The woman hugged Eawynn, as though they had known each other for decades. Eawynn also noticed that the woman had addressed her first and Vidar second. Even Magnus always spoke with Vidar first before he even looked at Eawynn.

"You must be Magnus' mother?" Eawynn asked even though she already knew the answer. The woman simply nodded in response.

"Well, my name is Mildred, but many know me as 'Magnus' mother' it seems," the older woman chuckled slightly. Eawynn did not laugh but forced a small smile onto her face.

After a brief discussion between Mildred and Vidar, Magnus' mother led them into her house. It was a large and spacious space with only one story, but with many separate rooms. The common room was much like Vidar's house - it had a firepit in the center and a dining table on the western side of the room. But instead of having beds in the common area, the southern end of the house had three separate doors, each of them presumably leading into a private bedroom.

"Vidar tells me you are expecting," said Mildred suddenly, as she sat down around the dinner table.

Eawynn did not answer but only blushed and nodded. It seemed her body was the business of everyone in town now that she was with child.

"Are you happy about it?" asked Mildred quickly. The question caught Eawynn off-guard. She had not expected anyone to ask how she felt.

"I'm not sure," Eawynn shrugged. "I never thought I would become a mother. It's all a bit much to digest. But I don't like being sick, that's for sure."

"I know the feeling. It felt the same with Magnus," answered Mildred calmly, "But whatever doubts you might have, it will turn out alright. I promise. Once a parent sees their child for the first time they don't have a choice... they love it, out of instinct."

"I'm sure there are many parents who don't love their children,' said Eawynn curtly. Her own parents sprung to mind. Even though they were never outright cruel, her parents had always been cold.

"Is that what your own mother was like?" asked Mildred, almost as if she could read Eawynn's thoughts. "This is also a chance for you to be a better parent than your own parents were. Think of it as an opportunity."

"An opportunity?" Eawynn spat. She could not believe what she was hearing. "So, kidnapping me and forcing me to become a mother... that's just Vidar giving me an opportunity?" Vidar looked at the two women, alarmed. He seemed to know the discussion was about him.

"That's how I felt at first, too," said Mildred calmly. "I was like you, once. I grew up in England, in a little village. One day, when I was barely a woman, our town was raided by Vikings. Much like your convent. I was captured and taken. Just like you."

"And you fell in love with the man who kidnapped you?" Eawynn said, horrified.

"No. I never loved my husband. I learned to tolerate him - but I never loved him," answered Mildred calmly. "What I loved was Magnus. From the very first moment I saw him, I was in love."

"You and I are much alike. I was full of fire and passion when I was younger. I don't doubt for a second that you wouldn't love your child, just as I love mine," continued Mildred. "But you have one more thing that I don't.... You love Vidar, do you not?"

Eawynn blushed out of shock. She was not in love - not with Vidar out of all people. He had been nothing but rude and inconsiderate to her... No, that wasn't right. Vidar had been rough, and controlling, at times. But other times, he had been caring and gentle. It was those parts of Vidar that she liked... and could even grow to love.

"I... I'm not even sure what love is," said Eawynn quietly, afraid of what Vidar might think if he understood her words. "There are parts of him that I do like. He's been loving and respectful at times. But other times... he has been brutish, and hot-tempered. I wish he could be less of those things, and more of the other."

"I've known Vidar since he was a boy. He's had a temper ever since..." said Mildred, now equally quiet. It was clear that this was information that she did not want Vidar to know she was sharing. "When he was no more than ten years old, his mother ran away with another man. After that, his father was never the same. A few years later, he took his own life. Since then, I've raised Vidar as if he were my own."

"I always knew his mother and father leaving him was tough. But I thought it would pass with age. Time would heal all wounds, surely," continued Mildred. "Vidar grew into a good young man. He acted rashly like young men tend to do. But usually, he was kind and good, especially towards Magnus."

"One day, Magnus tried to run away - it was a childish thing, something about wanting to see England. Vidar was heartbroken. Even though he was almost ten years older than Magnus - nearly seventeen at the time - he could not understand why Magnus would abandon him," recounted Mildred, saddened by the story that she was telling. "Ever since then, Vidar has never forgiven Magnus fully. And every time Vidar goes somewhere, he makes Magnus come along; and where Magnus goes, Vidar follows suit."

"I think that's why Magnus accepts so much of Vidar's bad behavior. Magnus is still making up for abandoning him, even though he was just a boy," added Mildred, as an aside.

"Deep down, Vidar has always just been that boy, terrified of being abandoned by people, just like he was left by his mom and dad," said Mildred. "If you can make him see that you're not going to leave... I think you would have an easier time with him."

The story was too much for Eawynn to take in, all at once. The little details that seemed off about Vidar and his life all seemed to make a bit more sense. Why Vidar's house was in such a state of disrepair - it had probably been his parents house. If Mildred had taken Vidar in when he was ten... it had stood empty for almost two decades. The unfinished carpet on the loom: probably a relic of the past, left by Vidar's mother before she abandoned her family. Was that why Vidar had avoided introducing Eawynn to Mildred? Because she knew too much about the vulnerable side of him? Thinking about Vidar like this - like a scared, abandoned little boy - made it hard not to feel sorry for him.

"I think we should get going," said Eawynn finally.

Eawynn felt as though the air in Mildred's house was too oppressive - like she couldn't think clearly while inside. When Eawynn and Vidar stood at the door about to leave, Eawynn finally remembered something that she had never thanked Mildred for even though she should have.

"Thank you for the dresses and books. You really chose well," said Eawynn finally, as she was almost out the door.

Mildred looked a bit puzzled, as if she wasn't sure what Eawynn was talking about.

"Huh? Ah, of course, the old dresses Vidar took," answered Mildred finally. "I'm glad you like them, I just wish Vidar had asked me first... not that they would even fit me anymore. But it's good Vidar got them altered to fit you so well."

"You did not choose them?" Eawynn asked, surprised.

"No, not at all. I must say, I'm a bit impressed Vidar managed to take care of everything all by himself."

Eawynn shook her head in surprise. Why had Magnus told her that his mother had picked out the dresses? Eawynn groaned, as she realized what must have happened. Vidar, with his dumb male pride had probably not wanted to admit that he had spent hours choosing and altering dresses. Even Magnus would make fun of him for that - playfully of course.

After the initial realization set in, Eawynn gulped. If Vidar had chosen the dresses after all, she had no reason to be angry when she thought he hadn't... And she didn't have any reason for running into the woods that day. Days of unnecessary tension caused between her and Vidar... all because of a misunderstanding.

With the knowledge of Vidar's childhood his behavior started to make more sense. Not that it justified anything, or made it any less wrong. But now that Eawynn knew that Vidar had issues with abandonment it made more sense why he had lost his mind that night. Eawynn remembered how she had lied with Vidar willingly that very day. Vidar must have thought that Eawynn had finally accepted him. And then, just hours later, he had thought that she was trying to leave again - that she was abandoning him.

Eawynn knew she was not the one in the wrong. She did have every right to run if she had wanted. But she had not wanted that, not after Vidar had taken care of her when she was sick. Not after the gifts he had brought. And the lovely time they had shared wrapped up in each other's arms. She wanted to clear the misunderstanding so that Vidar knew all that, too.

"Magnus?" asked Eawynn timidly, as she was being walked back home by Vidar.

In response, Vidar sighed. He seemed frustrated that Eawynn still wanted to see Magnus even though she had just met his mother. Vidar was clearly annoyed by all the English conversations, in which he was always the subject but never a participant. Even then, Vidar led Eawynn through town as they looked for Magnus together. Finally, they spotted the young man, sitting on a rock near the shoreline.

"Magnus! I need your help!" shouted Eawynn, as they approached the black-haired youth. The young man was again whittling on a piece of wood, as he often did when there was nothing else going on.

Magnus jumped off the large rock nimbly. He then sprinted casually over to Vidar and Eawynn, looking happy to see them both.

"Vidar said you have been ill again. He wouldn't let anyone see you," said Magnus, surprised by Eawynn's arrival.

Eawynn looked at Vidar, annoyed. Vidar looked away guiltily, knowing he had been caught in a lie. Eawynn shook her head, trying to rid herself of those thoughts. She did not come here for a fight.

"You remember that night, a few weeks ago, when we were sitting at the town square? You, me and Vidar?" asked Eawynn, trying to calm herself down.

"Yes, of course. That's the last time I've seen you," answered Magnus, confused. "What of it?"

"I think Vidar has the wrong impression of that night. And I want you to clear the air for us," started Eawynn explaining. "Vidar might have thought that I was trying to run away that night. But I wasn't doing that. I was just upset by something, and I needed to get away from the crowd. I was feeling... a bit ill, you see. I did try to escape that one time, when we were getting off the boat. Oh, and that other time, when we were still at the convent. But I decided, many weeks ago, that I wouldn't do that anymore," explained Eawynn frantically.

Magnus translated the words to Vidar, as best he could. Vidar looked skeptical, not quite believing Eawynn's story. He asked something from Magnus, who again, translated for Eawynn.

"Why did you decide that? To not run?" asked Magnus.

"Many things. First, I realized how stupid it would be. Where would I go? What would I do? Live in a cave and wait until a bear mauled me to death?" Eawynn spoke quickly, trying to get through all her reasons as fast as possible.

"Second, even if I could escape, how could I leave my Sisters...", Eawynn paused a bit, as she remembered, that she had broken her wows, and was thus no longer a nun, "... my friends, behind."

"And I... this place is pretty, and there is a lot more color and sunshine here, than in England. It isn't raining all the time. I like you, Magnus. You've been a great friend." Eawynn was stalling, trying to make up reasons so that she could avoid saying the thing that was most pressing on her mind.

"Then... I like... you," she said, glancing off in Vidar's direction. "Some things at least."

Again, Magnus translated, and Vidar listened. This time Vidar looked a lot more pleased. He asked another question, which Eawynn didn't even need translated - she could understand it all on her own.

"What things?" asked Vidar in Danish.

"Well, you're not... bad to look at. And you have a great taste in dresses," Eawynn said, as she looked down on her gown. She took a deep breath almost as if to calm her nerves. It felt odd to say these things, but Eawynn felt she must. She needed to get along with this man, now more than ever.

"You were nothing but a gentleman when we were aboard the ship. I felt so lucky that I was with you, instead of... whoever that man was who took Maethilde. And the way you took care of me when I was sick. Even if you don't want to admit it, you were truly gentle and caring. The way you made me feel... that morning, the same day we went to the town square. I just haven't felt that way about anyone else. Ever," Eawynn spoke quickly, sprinting through her sentences. She did not want to lose her nerve in the middle of spilling her guts.

As Magnus translated Eawynn's words to Vidar, his face lit up with pride. He didn't say anything in response, but simply wrapped Eawynn into his arms and planted a deep kiss onto Eawynn's soft lips.

"You have nothing to say to me?" asked Eawynn, saddened by Vidar's lack of a proper response. "Why did you take me with you, from England? Why did you continue sleeping with Frigg, even though I was right there? Do you even like me, or am I just... someone you sleep with when you're too lazy to find other options?" Eawynn cursed her own emotions. She had been trying to keep a cool head, but as she saw Vidar's lack of a response, all the hurt came flowing out of her wounded heart.

Vidar looked shocked, but not upset. If anything, he looked disappointed with himself. Maybe he had thought that it was so clear he liked her, that he didn't need to say it with words? Vidar and Magnus spoke again at length. Vidar looked uncomfortable having to tell Magnus his feelings. Despite the awkwardness, he did.

"I liked you, since the moment we met. First, I thought you were pretty - I wanted you just for that. Then you jumped into the water to save me. If you hadn't, I would surely be dead. After that I knew I couldn't let anyone else touch you. How could I? You had just saved my life; and I knew if I didn't take you with me, someone worse would. You're beautiful, after all," translated Magnus. Eawynn blushed as she listened to descriptions of her beauty.

"There was something else too. I thought, who the hell is dumb enough to jump into water, and save a Viking? Everyone in England knows what Vikings do... and still you saved me. How was it possible for someone to be so stupid? And so brave? So kind?" Vidar now blushed also, as he stood and listened to his own words, as interpreted by Magnus.

"You yelled at me, when I was being an ass towards Magnus. No one does that, not even Magnus," translated Magnus, "And then you managed to escape a crowded Viking ship without anyone noticing. How the hell did you manage that? I have to admit, I was as impressed as I was upset."

Eawynn blushed even more, as she heard Vidar describe everything she had done."I guess he does like me, after all?"

Both Vidar and Eawynn just stood there, in silence, shocked by the depth of their own emotions. They were both good good at hiding their feelings even from themselves. Magnus left the pair alone - not that Eawyn and Vidar noticed, as they were too busy staring at each other.