Super Friends With Benefits Ch. 02

The words hung over us for a long moment. Our salads came, and we just picked at them.

"We're in a polycule," I blurted out, not quite ready to have this conversation, but it seemed we were going to have it anyway. "Do you know what that is?"

Stacey shook her head.

"The textbook definition is: it's a network of people in non-monogamous relationships," I continued. "But for us, it means a bunch of us have relationships with one another and other people, too. I am most intimate with Alex, but I have other relationships with people in our 'cule. Sometimes it's romantic, sometimes not."

"Like you and Jenny?" Stacey observed.

"Jenny and I haven't been an item since college," I smiled at all of the memories with my friend. "But we've known each other forever, and she's still my best friend. We talk all the time, and she and I have a different relationship than Alex and I do."

"How does it work?"

"You do not have to join," Alex said. "But you do have to respect the choices we've made. Mal and I would like to pursue a relationship with you, both together and separately. But you are in control of that, and we will respect your decisions. You can meet everyone, or you can stay with just us. Mal and I disclosed our relationship with you--not by name--so the other members of the polycule know that we have started a new relationship. That's why we all had to be tested before we could be with any of the other members."

"What if I want to meet some of the others, but don't want to have sex with them?"

"You do not have to have sex with anyone. Ever. Not even with us," I said firmly. "If anyone pressures you or tries to force themselves on you, or even if you just think they're creepy, you need to tell one of us, and the group will take care of it. Consent and communication are what makes it work."

"How many people are there?"

Alex looked away for a second, counting in his head. "About forty. Some people just pop in every now and then, and some are exclusive with only a couple of members of the group. Most of them live on the east coast, although there is a sub-group out in Utah and one person is overseas right now in Italy."

"Can I see how it goes?"

"Of course, you can!" I reached across the table and gave her hand a sympathetic squeeze. "We know exactly how you feel, and you should not feel pressured in any way."

"Am I allowed to be jealous of your other partners?"

"Yes, jealousy is completely normal," Alex said reassuringly. "We both have feelings of jealousy at times. But you do have to communicate. If you join the group, we will call you out for being passive-aggressive or not addressing anything that might be an issue. Your feelings are completely valid, but if they turn into harmful actions, then we have a problem."

"Tell her," I coaxed him.

It took Alex a second to say the words. He and I had this conversation after we got back from Dragon Con. "I am jealous of Mallory when it comes to you. I know she has feelings for you. Stronger and more intense than any she's ever had for me. And we've been friends for eight years now. I wanted her to feel that way about me, but she fell for you almost right away. And I think you feel the same way about her."

Stacey looked between us, stunned.

"Sometimes I think you like Alex more than you like me," I admitted my own fears. "I don't want to be your 'experimental phase'. And I don't like long-term relationships. They scare the shit out of me. But if you asked me to resign my commission today to be with you, I'd seriously think about it."

"I am afraid of breaking you up." Her words were so soft, I almost couldn't hear here. "I see how you are with each other. And I want to feel that. I want to feel that with both of you. But I don't want you two to break up. I want you to live happily ever after."

"Only if you're with us." The words were out my mouth before I realised I said them.

Any reply from Alex or Stacey was cut short when our entrees arrived. We ate in silence for a few minutes. A somber air hung over us.

It took me a few minutes to process our impromptu confessional. It seemed both of the other people at the table were have similar internal conversations.

"Are Lindsey and Tien in your... polycule... too?" Stacey asked quietly.

"Yes, they are." Alex replied.

"Have you been with them?"

"Yes, we have," he replied. "Me, more regularly than Mallory."

She looked over at me curiously, but didn't press the matter. "They said they were going to be getting together later... would you like to join them? I don't want to get between you and your friends."

"We wanted to spend this weekend with you," I said. "We wanted to know if there was something more after Dragon Con. Something... real."

"Thank you," she whispered and wiped her eye.

We finished dinner with a little more small talk. No dessert.

Stacey picked up the bill before Alex could grab it. I think she might actually have tried to stab him if he made a play for the check. But she paid it without even flinching.

"I want to spend the night in," she said.

And that was that.

Luckily, I had a couple of bottles of wine in the fridge. When we got back to the room, we changed into some more comfortable clothes, but it seemed no one wanted to jump right into bed.

Instead, after some indecision, I broke out Cards Against Humanity.

Alex plugged a Roku into the TV on the wall, and started up Fellowship of the Ring (Extended Edition, of course) which was streaming on HBO Max.

Between the booze and the card game, the three of us were laughing and having a good time. I was happy that Stacey seemed like she wanted to connect with us in a way other than just the fucking.

I also learned a lot about her sense of humour, which turned out to be more risqué than I had thought.

We ended the night in a pile on the bed with the Fellowship fighting at Amon Hen. Alex leaned back against the headboard. Stacey cuddled against him, his arm wrapped around her shoulders.

I lay at Alex's feet, my head in Stacey's lap. I melted at her touch as she ran her fingertips through my hair and massaged my scalp. In that moment, I would have done anything she asked.

A little while later, I woke up drooling on Stacey's sweatpants. She hadn't moved. Neither had Alex. Still she absently stroked my hair.

"What business does an elf, a man and a dwarf have in the Riddermark?" sounded from the television.

"Have a good nap, sleepyhead?" Stacey's voice was tender. Blinking the sleep out of my eyes, I turned to look into her big brown eyes, and only smiled dumbly at her. "I wish we could stay like this forever."

I touched her thigh under my head. Not sexually. Just to be close to her.

"I just want you to hold me," she said. I think she was talking to both of us. "All anyone I meet ever wants to do is grab my tits, or they think I like it when they bend me over and fuck me while they play with my ass. I like it when you're near me."

Getting up, I went to the outer room and flipped out the lights. I gathered up the blankets in the bed and sat next to Alex with Stacey between us.

"I don't want you to go home tomorrow," I whispered. Although I was speaking to Stacey, I realised that I also meant that for Alex, too.

"I could stay another night," she volunteered.

"No," my reply was so quick I knew I hurt her. "I have to leave tomorrow night. I have to be at work on Monday. And I have to help Jenny pack. And you have a four hour drive home... and you have school..."

"Now you're just making excuses," Alex pointed out.

"I can't..." My voice trailed off as I choked back tears. "I can't..."

Stacey wrapped her arms around me, with Alex around her. They let me be until I could finally speak.

"I can't imagine waking up alone," I sobbed, a decade's worth of trauma making its way to the surface. "I'm afraid you'll leave me... and... I don't want to be alone again."

Even though I'm the oldest of the three of us, I'm clearly the least mature. Or maybe I was just due for a breakdown.

Alex turned the television off. Stacey drew me into her comforting embrace as Alex went to the bathroom. He returned and Stacey left me in his arms as she took care of her business.

We curled up together with me clutching on to Stacey as if my life depended on it. Alex spooned up behind me and held us both.

I wasn't the only one crying.

The three of us drifted off to sleep. On the one hand, I never felt more loved in my life. On the other, I knew when I woke up, it would be our last day together for a long time.