Super Friends With Benefits Ch. 07

"Goddammit!" I yelled as I ate a faceful of carpet.

"Computer, turn the bedroom lights on!" Alex shouted, his voice full of panic.

I couldn't help but laugh, laying on the floor, tangled up in the power cord to our new sex toy.

There I was: splayed out on the ground next to the bed, my tits going in two different directions and naked as a jaybird. I did a quick inspection. Nothing seemed to be injured other than my pride.

Alex sprung out of bed and was at my side instantly. "Mal! Are you okay?"

"I think so," I sat up. Stacy started to giggle once it was apparent I was unhurt. I did not want to have to explain how I twisted an ankle or broke a wrist on the day after our wedding. "New rule: Don't leave the Sybian out."

"That's a good idea," Alex smiled with relief as he started to gather up all the components of the Sybian to stash them somewhere that was out of the way (and away from the prying eyes of visitors).

Picking myself up off the floor, I headed to the bathroom. Alex and Stacey weren't far behind. I didn't bother to head for the toilet; I just started the large walk-in shower that could comfortably fit all three of us. Plus some company if we wanted it.

The three of us piled in under the triple rainfall showerheads. We have water jets, too. That's right, bitches: be jealous. We don't care.

There was no shower sex, although we played underneath the warm water. Thank god for tankless hot water heaters and booster pumps to increase the water pressure! We all peed down the drain, not on each other. Well . . . I may have used Alex's penis to spray his and Stacey's feet just a little bit, but she didn't notice until it was too late and Alex played along with my watersports.

Once we were clean and dry, I dressed and went out to the kitchen. Chelsea was already starting breakfast with Carter drafted to help. Kendall lounged around on the couch, with Steevie on his lap staring blankly at a tablet. Ritchie sat at the table eating some dry cereal to hold him over. Alecia was scrolling through the morning news. Grace and Kirk were not known to be morning people, so I didn't expect to see them for a little while.

Stacey emerged from the other bedroom with Mama trailing along with her walker.

"Good morning," she said, sitting down at the big dining room table. "How is the newly married throuple today?"

"Just fine, Mama," Stacey sat next to her.

"Good, I'll be expecting some great-great grandchildren in nine months," she cackled. Alex laughed. Stacey flushed with embarrassment.

Carter fixed his grandmother a plate. Everyone else had to serve themselves. Carter had taught Chelsea how to make his "world famous" home fried potatoes in exchange for our family's corned beef breakfast hash. There were also eggs, bacon, homemade biscuits & gravy, and more food than the twelve of us could possibly eat, so I started sending out text messages inviting anyone who wanted breakfast to come on over.

Alex and I sat down to eat at the table in the kitchen. Carter and Alecia joined us.

"Can I ask you a question, Alex?" he said after a moment.

"Of course," my husband replied.

"Forgive me if I overstep my bounds or ask something that is inappropriate," Carter started. He paused for a second, searching for the words. "Are you and . . . um, Inanna . . . 'out' publicly? Or just within your circle of friends?"

"I appreciate you asking," Alex addressed the first part of what our new father-in-law brought up. "Please don't feel like there's anything you can't ask me . . . or us. I appreciate that you are interested in our lives, and you have always treated us with respect and love, so I don't mind you asking any questions of us. To answer your question: no, I'm not 'out', although I don't go to great lengths to hide who I am."

"May I be honest with you? Alecia and I have been concerned about Stacey since she told us she was involved with another woman and with a man at the same time." It sounded like he had gone over this conversation in his head a few times. "It's not an arrangement which we are personally familiar, or one that I think our society is ready for. But you make it look easy."

The three of us exchanged a worried look.

"We want our daughter to be happy, and you do that. You treat her well, and that's all we can ask as parents," he continued. "Her mom and I have both . . ."

"We've been talking to people we know and trying to learn as much as we can," Alecia picked up for her husband. "Last night, coming out to us as Inanna threw us for a loop, so I hope we didn't offend you or make you feel uncomfortable."

"Of course not!" Alex replied.

"We were actually expecting a much different reaction," I admitted sheepishly.

"We probably should not have sprung that on you," Alex said. "This weekend was a surprise for most everyone. We just didn't want to go through all the stages of wedding planning and drag it out."

"Or for it to be too expensive," Stacey interjected.

"We are happy for you," Carter said. "So if you . . . as Inanna . . . are not out, that is something which you are keeping private, right? Should we assume people we talk to don't know? We don't want to accidentally out you."

"Thank you," my husband smiled broadly. "You don't know how much that means. I'd appreciate if you kept that private for now. Maybe Inanna will introduce herself to the rest of your family at Christmas or Thanksgiving. Everyone who was here yesterday knows, but a good rule of thumb is just to assume any of our other friends does not know. Mallory's family doesn't know."

"We were wondering where they were," Alecia said curiously.

"My parents and I aren't speaking right now," my eyes got dark. Stacey let out a deep, regretful sigh. "They don't--"

"Our parents are ignorant, hateful cunts," my sister spat from across the kitchen. She clearly wasn't thinking straight because that night she and Kendall had to have a discussion with Ritchie about why the word "cunt" isn't appropriate and shouldn't be repeated.

"I see," Carter said quietly.

"I don't think of myself as 'closeted'," Alex said. "Stacey, Mallory and I have been very open about our relationship to our friends, family and co-workers. But that part of me . . . just isn't ready."

"We understand," Alecia said, her voice full of motherly understanding. "You're welcome in our family as Alex and Inanna."

My phone buzzed with people accepting our invite to breakfast. All in all, another twenty or so people showed up, so we all rotated through the kitchen helping as we were needed. Everyone brought something, even if they were store-bought biscuits.

The hit of the morning was the case of champagne that arrived along with various fruit juices. So there were mimosas all around. By mid-afternoon, we were well into the leftovers from the wedding party, and I think someone ordered a bunch of pizza.

Some friends left and more arrived throughout the day.

Just before dinner, I was surprised when Stacey's brother drove up, along with her aunt and uncle. They looked like they had packed hastily and driven all day from Franklin.

"I heard we missed a party!" Hailey ran into our arms.

Her husband gave us friendly hugs as well. He had a full-sized envelope in his hands and drew out a stack of papers. "We have a present for you."

"What are you talking about?" Stacey asked.

"Well, you can't have a wedding without a gift for the brides and groom," Uncle Paul said, handing me a key fob with the Audi logo on it.

Apparently the Audi S5 convertible Eric was driving.

"You just need to sign here . . . here . . . initial here . . . and here. We'll take care of all the paperwork on our end. You'll just need take these papers and go to the DMV here and get plates."

"We can't . . . this is too much," I stammered.

"It's our wedding present to you," Carter said. "It's been on the lot for around seventy days anyway."

"Seventy-four," Paul corrected playfully. "We'll find some way to write it off as a business expense. Technically, Stacey is still on the payroll."

"I haven't worked there for like two years!"

"Did you ever submit a letter of resignation? Didn't think so. You're still in the computer as an employee," Stacey's uncle laughed.

"Thank you," I breathed softly, and gave Stacey's relatives hugs.

"Welcome to the family!" Aunt Hailey said.

They fit in perfectly with our other friends and family. Hailey is an affectionate drunk, and she started to get a little handsy with Alex. She even flirted with me.

For the record, I could have turned her into a lesbian.