All Comments on 'The Master Gene Ch. 03'

Already looking forward to chapter 4

So I had a chance to catch up with the story now and enjoying it so far.

You have some really interesting dynamics between Sarah, Amanda, and Ms Heller. That’s going to be interesting to see play out.

Grandpa wants to reactivate his power and seems most likely to be behind the school break-in. But what if it’s not what it seems? That could push the storyline in a different direction. For example, we know nothing about Derrick’s sister. What if she actually stumbled upon the family secret and caught word of what just happened to her brother? She decides to check out what chemicals he was actually exposed to. Maybe this is a false trail and the catalyst that changed Derrick’s power actually was something else not yet revealed? Just an idea…

One thing mentioned in the story is that the slave’s mindset is based on the master’s concept of what a slave should be. Derrick’s mother explained how she had relatively small changes made to her because of her prior relationship with his father before becoming enslaved. And, it was stated that the men were told about the power some time, even years, before it activated. So they probably had some forethought as to what they wanted in a slave. But Derrick did not have that. He’s a hormonal 18 year old kid. Sarah’s personality changes make sense to me. I don’t know what changes are going to happen with Amanda yet. But Ms Heller seems to be different, more submissive than Sarah to Derrick for sure and at the same time, more domineering with Sarah. Now this is well explained in her thinking in the story. But it leaves the question about what else is going to change, because Derrick didn’t know what her wanted when he activated. My guess is it was a combination of subconscious wanting and instinct.

Derrick’s grandpa seems sketchy but I wonder if there’s more to his thinking than what we’ve seen thus far. It could end up being that he’s a self centered person and simply wants more. Maybe his choice of slave never was what he wanted and he wants another chance. Maybe he has more knowledge of what is really happening and is trying to control it in someway. Point is, I reserve judgment for his character arc until I know more.

Now here’s something else to consider, how many family generations and branches are there from when this gene turned on? There may be an extensive amount of men out there with this gene and some may have more knowledge about it than Derrick’s family does. Maybe Derrick’s line is the strongest one with the gene? The weakest? Maybe it’s becoming inactive in other family branches, but they retain knowledge of what they had? Point is, this opens more plot lines to travel if you are interested.

Something else to consider is why the female side has not had the same thing happen to them. Or more interesting, what if one family member wanted his sister, cousin, mother, etc. Are the women in the family immune from becoming enslaved? Are there mutations in the gene and this is actually why Derrick’s activated differently from his dad and grandpa? Could a mutation allow Derrick’s sister to have this gene activate in her? Hmm…

Anyway, thank you for your work and sharing this story. I eagerly await your next chapters.

i guess grandpa went shopping. Wonder how that's gonna turn out

I will be interesting to see where this plot leads. With the twin sister, the grandpa and the sister there are lots of possibilities now. Please continue and thank you for sharing your story.

Wow, that was one long and awesome comment. I really wish I could answer everything in it, but that would spoil the story for you. All I'll say is that some of your guesses are right on the money, though not all. As for the women in the family, answers are coming for your questions about them eventually.

Grow up, read something else if you like xD This story is great, 5 stars all the way. I'm looking forward to any twists coming up. But if you draw the line on a relatively small amount of girl on girl, and can't just ignore it for the rest of the good story, then have fun reading other stuff. It's not like there's suddenly vore from nowhere. It's a harem, what are you expecting xD

Great story. Keep it up

Great story. Can't for the next chapter. Don't worry about that one anonymous. Nothing wrong with a little girl on girl.

girl on girl? yes.

girl on another guy? fuck no.

keep up the good work.

Great story! Keep going!

An author's tip, when you start new sections, like when the POV changes focus between characters, please place some sort of delineation, like a few extra line breaks or the ever popular ***

Again awesome story.

Sarah then whispered into his ear, "Now it's time to learn how to eat a girl out."

"This isn't necessary. Our purpose is to give Derrick pleasure, not the other way around."

Are the fucking slaves going to decide everything??? Does he even have a wisp of presence let alone domination?

"Forgot what?" Derrick asked.

"We're your slaves Derrick. That means we can't cum if it isn't you." He has 3 family members familiar with his powers yet fucking Sarah knows more about his powers effects than him. When will he ask and experiment and learn.. sigh

“Derrick sighed, "Yes you did. Still, I'm going to have to punish you at some point for it anyway." Why at some point? Why not directly.. plus why is she the one making the plans? Does this power remove his braincells?

“She couldn't see any reason why anybody would take such a huge risk just to steal her chemicals.” Really..?

Grammar and legibility is keeping you from going from a 4 to a 5.

It's really difficult to tell when the POV switched to another character in your transitions. You also misspell some common words, and in several places in each chapter there are missing or repeated words.

A little editing would take your stories to that final level.