This was really fun to read... and i hope for a sequel!
As far as the mistakes someone had mentioned, the only one that struck me was the line "inhaling my must" where you meant "musk". It was funny because it's one we've all made..... spelling checkers miss them and sometimes they cause them because they recognize your intented word and sometimes substitute their own choice of words.
one of the most fun to read of it's kind on here. Well Done!!!
I loved the word play in the story, starting with the Title. Brilliant
I look forward to reading your next chapter
A yummy tour de force. I wanted to smell her arousal and taste her juices. The restaurant scene was fantastic and a great entree to them both losing control later at her apartment. It's funny but even though Amelie submitted to a spanking and finally gave Karl her arse I felt this was the point at which the power dynamic between the couple shifted. Is the apprentice going to outgrow the master?
Great story. I gave you 5 stars to offset poor little Annony ' s (AKA Will Shakespeare Jr) hurt grammatical sensibilities.
Good flow, passion feels real.
Nice simple little story - love to see what you do next.
It seems like you really took your time on this chapter, so instead of coming off as a rushed attempt to back out of a story choice, it seems like it was planned all along. So happy to see Teagan still alive, if this was meant to to be a closing chapter though I would've loved to have seen them go to the specialist only to find that it's no longer needed.
Great to have you back, honestly I'd love to see you give final closure to this story and then start up another great romance! Keep up the fantastic work!
I have just binge read the Ed and Ben series and I must say Bravo! Please keep up the outstanding work (but please work quickly). I'm eagerly awaiting more fine stories.
This was an extremely well done story. It was soft, slow, and incredibly intense. Thank you
Shame u never quite followed through with continuing this story.
I liked the age difference, the relaxed approach, ending with a frantic coupling. New, different, erotic. Good job.
This doesn't work
You begin by telling us about them, then it's telling the story to her. You're telling this story from three different ways. Switching back and forth is difficult and of poor writing.
Are you telling us or her?
Thank you for reading my Scene and taking the time to comment. I am very glad that you enjoyed the story. Unykorn
Login or Sign Up
All contents © Copyright 1998-2012. Literotica is a trademark. No part may be reproduced in any form without explicit written permission.
Terms Of Services|Report A Problem|Privacy
Password:Forgot your password?
Your current user avatar, all sizes:
You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.
Select new user avatar:
Upload and save
User avatar uploaded successfuly and waiting for moderation.