An Unexpected Attraction Pt. 05

"Tied one on tonight, did you, Katy? That's not like you."

"No, it's even worse," I said. "Angela, I'm in lust with a man."

"Oh, dear," she said.

"One I hate!"

"Oh, you poor darling," she said.

They got me through the door, put me on the bed, got me undressed, and covered me in a blanket. Then Lori, Raeanne, and Christine started removing their clothes, and getting naked.

"Um, Ladies?" Angela said.

"Oh! We're nudists now, Angela," Raeanne said. "Please feel free to join us, or stay dressed, whichever way you are more comfortable. And, of course, if you want to come back when you get off shift, please do!"

"It looks like Katy has adequate company for the time being," she said. "But I'll take a rain check on coming back."

"Please do," Raeanne said. "You're always welcome in our home."

Angela turned back to me, put her hand on my arm, and gently stroked it. "If you want his ass kicked, baby," Angela said, "Let me know. I've got friends. Who have other friends. Who have other, less good friends." She kissed me on the forehead, received thanks in the form of hugs and kisses from Raeanne, Christine, and Lori, and turned to leave. She gave Lori her card. "If I can help in any way, call me. I get off at midnight. I'll come running if you need me. For anything."

Lori gave her another kiss on the cheek.

Angela said, "Keep rubbing up against a girl while you're naked like that, you might get kissed right back, doll."

"I'd like that, Lori said. "I'll be here all night, if you'd care to come back?"

"Well, I do have to get back to work before I get in trouble! Call me if needed."

She left. I fell asleep. And I had dreams of Randy. He was holding me in his arms, both of us naked. He was lying on top of me, missionary, buried deep inside me, my legs wrapped around his waist as I writhed and moaned and orgasmed all over his cock. All. Night. Long.

Oh, God! What the Hell???

###

Lori said, "Rise and shine, lover girl. It's after ten AM, and I know you never sleep past five AM. So I think you're trying to stay in bed to avoid dealing with something."

"You think?" That was my first instinctive, ugly, sarcastic reply. "No, Lori, I'm sorry about the sarcasm. You've been nothing but wonderful in all of this!" I took her hand and kissed it. She reached down, lifted my chin, and gave me a sweet kiss on the lips. "Oh, my God! I had dreams about him all night! Just now, kissing you, the images of me having mindless, wanton sex with Randy all keep playing in my mind!"

"Sweetheart, I don't know how to tell you this because this has apparently never been a problem for you before. But the truth is that in life, we almost never get to have relationships with everyone we would want to."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning you can, and will in the future, have similar attacks of desire, lust, crushes, etc. And apparently, you'll be having them for men now, too. And sadly, most everyone else on Earth is not so free with their love as the Carter family."

"But what do I do about it?"

"What do you do when you meet a girl you can't have a relationship with but have a crush on, an infatuation for? Or just want to get your hands on her, plain old lust, but you can't because she's not gay, or she's gay, but in another relationship that isn't open?"

"Usually, I mope around the apartment for three weeks and eat a lot of ice-cream. A lot of times, I'd see if Angela was free for the evening, and we'd screw each other's brains out. And then a month or two later, some other girl would come along and catch my eye."

"See?" Lori said, "You already possess the entire female set of cards for dealing with unrequited love."

"But why does this hit me so hard with men?"

"Several reasons. Lack of practice in dealing with it. When you fell head-over-heels for Doug, you were in the safest place you could have been for this to happen. And we all thought it was adorable!" She jumped on top of me, put her face in the hollow of my neck, and squealed in delight. "So adorable to watch you reeling from how your attraction for Doug just hit you like a tidal wave! Oh, my darling, I know you don't enjoy being a spectacle; you don't enjoy being out of control. But you should try it more often because you make the whole room, the whole world, fall in love with you when you are held captive in the grip of such strong emotions! You are just so unbearably lovely, in such strong emotion! But I digress!" She nuzzled her lips and nose against my neck for a bit, and I opened my legs for her and wrapped them around her waist. After a few lovely moments of utter bliss, she resumed our discussion.

"So," she said. "You scored big the very first time you got hit with a male love interest. Right place, right time, ultra-right guy. So maybe you thought that's how it would always be, your whole life?

"But honey, I've been bisexual my whole life. And there have been many times I got hit with these infatuations, and even in our family, I can't have every guy or woman I've ever wanted. The have-to-have-not ratio is around 5%. As I delve deeper, there's almost always something that breaks the deal. And often, the deal breaker is: the guy is a jerk! And you know what? The body doesn't care! The animal in you is only looking for one thing in a mate: strength. Women are hypergamous. We're always looking for a bigger, stronger, better male."

"You must have to search pretty far and wide because Doug is in the 1% of masculine masculinity."

"It is true there aren't many men out there who can turn my head. And I think you'd be surprised, as I've had my fair share of men who don't work out, or are skinny, or even a potbelly. But the thing is, it isn't always a rational thing. It almost never is! You know the old saying, "Happy women don't cheat?" That lie has let down many husbands. These things hit, with force, as you have experienced yourself. A woman who's married to a doctor will have an affair with the kid who bags her groceries at the supermarket. Or the house painter, or the plumber, or whatever. And possibly ruin their marriage. All because they just wanted a taste of something, or someone, new. Hence the swinging lifestyle. Or the mutual-consent non-monogamous lifestyle. And even with our ways, there's still plenty of trouble out there. But at least we are trying to find ways to keep a family together when one or both spouses get hit by an unexpected attraction to someone else. We know it's going to happen. We don't deny it in ourselves or our loved ones. We make allowances for it. We don't get our feelings hurt just because the other wants to rub against someone else."

"So this is just going to happen to me? Out of the blue?"

"Yes, my love. Welcome to the human race, doll."

"But why?" I practically wailed, as I said it.

"Human beings were made to survive and reproduce. Nature doesn't care if it's easy for us or not."

"But when I get hit like this, what can I do about it?"

"Enjoy it."

"WHAT?"

"You know, in sports, they teach you to use your fear of losing to add adrenalin to your blood, making you that much stronger and faster? And some people start to look for that, as a natural "high," a key component of the whole process, for them? Some find that euphoric state is the real victory, not winning or losing a race."

"Yes."

"Well, this is like that. When you get hit with these infatuations, don't have a panic attack just because it is happening. Or for the wrong sort of guy. Instead, let those powerful emotions put lift in your soul, wings on your feet, and carry you through the day. These aren't unopposable fears come to life. They're the thrills of living that tell you, "Congratulations, you're a living, breathing woman with a functioning heart!" Like everything else about being human, and a woman, it's messy and unpredictable, and imperfect, and it can cause huge problems. But it's all part of the mix. Let it carry you through the day! If you absolutely must, find a private spot and masturbate. That'll usually clear your head enough to keep you from being arrested for sexually assaulting the stock boys at the supermarket."

"I don't have panic attacks."

"Yes, you do. Or you did last night, anyway. Anyone can get them if they perceive some element of their life is suddenly beyond their control, leaving them helpless and out of control. You experienced it because you didn't know how to handle yourself. You were afraid you were losing control, and my beloved, darling, sweet Katy? If you have one fault? You are all about control. Which is fine! But when you felt it slipping from your grasp, in such a vital, key part of your life, your core identity? You panicked. Which is only normal. But if you learn to recognize that within yourself and prevent the panic from digging in, you can control that, too. And in time, when a sudden attraction hits you, and you feel that sudden surge of emotion and desire in your heart and your loins? It will become something you treasure, even if it can never be acted on."

A body moved next to mine, but from the motion of the bed, I knew whoever it was, was too heavy to be Raeanne. I looked over, expecting to see Christine, but instead, it was Angela! Nude, and in bed with me!

"Hey, you!" I said. "How long have you been here?"

"I came back after midnight. Slept with you most of the night. The ladies did spell me for a moment or two so Lori and I could get better acquainted."

"A couple of times!" Lori said.

"You manage to meet the nicest people, Katy," Angela said. "Everything Lori told you is dead-on right, kid. This lady is some kind of human psychology expert, a real treasure! You'll learn how to deal with this. But this time, we didn't want you to be alone. Because we all love our gorgeous muscle-chick."

"Oh, you guys!" I said, tearing up. "Hey, where are Raeanne and Christine?"

"Gone to the grocery store. They just left," Angela said.

"So it's just us?" I asked.

"Well, I've got to leave in about half an hour," Angela said.

"Then we'd better get busy," I said. "Lori, will you pardon me if I kiss Angela first? I'm not being a very good hostess to her this morning, and I must make amends."

"Lover-girl, scoot over this way a little, and I'll climb in on the other side of her, and together, we'll really show her a good time!"

"Well, ain't I the lucky one this morning?" Angela said.

"Katy, you go high," Lori said. "And I'll start low!"

Which is precisely what we did. I went to work kissing her, and playing with her breasts and nipples, nuzzling her neck, nibbling her earlobes, and Lori went down on her pussy, wrapping her arms around Angela's thighs to better hold her where she wanted her and not letting up on her for an instant. Between us, we had her coming in no time; then, working together, we managed to hold her in that state for a solid ten minutes before she begged us to stop. We stopped, let her catch her breath, then rolled her over on her belly, and lifted her ass in the air; Lori went back to work on her pussy, and I went to work on her anus. Again, in no time, we had her coming, but we didn't keep her there as long this time because we had already worn her out pretty well on the first go-around.

We collapsed in a heap, side by side, Angela still sandwiched between us. Eventually, she said, "I am so going to pay you both back, with interest, bitches! After I have had a good three weeks to recover, just the two of you wait and see!"

There was a rattling of keys at the door, and Christine and Raeanne came in, laden with groceries. They were followed by Juanita, with yet another bag of groceries. Looking at us, Juanita called out, "Hang on. They're not dressed. Give us five minutes," then closed the door.

"Hello, lover!" Raeanne said. "We ran into Juanita and Randy at the grocery store, and they wanted to come over and see that you're ok."

"You brought Randy here? That's him outside?" I sat up on the side of the bed, already feeling the panic begin to build. But this time, I forced myself to be calm. Or at least, I found I could make myself remain rational, even while emotional fireworks shot through my heart. I'd need more practice at this, but I was far better off than last night when it all first hit me. My heart was still beating fast, though, at the thought of him being near. But like Lori had suggested, I rode them instead of fighting the losing battle of trying to control my emotions. It was such a rush, such a feeling of being alive!

Raeanne is almost always in a good mood, but her spirit radiated even more happiness than usual. She skipped across the floor, spun around in front of me, and landed in my lap with a flourish, her arms around my neck. The excitement coursing through my body made contact with her all the more lovely. I kissed her forehead, and her collection of scents and perfumes shot sparks straight to my loins. My God, as Lori had said, it was exhilarating!

"You're drunk on emotion, again, aren't you, my love?" she asked. She put her hand on my face and said, "Oh, God, Katy, you're so lovely to see when you're like this! I wish you could be like this more often! But! Anyway. Lover-girl, Juanita has an announcement to make!"

My thoughts were still a disorganized jumble, but I looked up at Juanita, and she said,

"Katy! Randy and I are dating!"

I nearly fainted. I know it sounds corny. But I had the rug ripped out from under my life twice in the last 12 hours! First, I crush on another man, without warning, one I hated. Or I had hated if he really had changed. The new Randy didn't seem so bad. But it was all so unexpected!

And NOW I find out I can't have him! I felt relieved and dismayed all at once!

Angela caught me as I started to fall back, and suddenly all the girls were clustered around me, worried.

"No, no, I'm fine!" I said, "It's been a busy morning; I only just woke up and haven't had anything to eat since lunch yesterday because I never did finish my pizza!"

It seemed like there was something else I needed to address, but it was eluding me, until Lori prompted me, "So, Katy! What do you think about Juanita's announcement?" You could hear the joy in her voice.

"Juanita! I think it's wonderful. If you think he's really changed," and standing behind Juanita, I saw Lori, and she was shaking her head "yes," "Then, I trust your judgment. And this Randy, he does really seem like a new, better man. I have to admit, I was getting to like him last night, before my allergies-"

"Migraine!" Lori said.

"Yes, I meant to say, before the migraine hit me, I thought... he seemed... really nice..."

"Thank you, Katy!" Juanita said. "That really means a lot to me! Raeanne, will you let Katy stand up, please? I want to hug her!"

"Of course!" she said and hopped off my lap.

I stood up, still naked, needing a shower, but Juanita ran right into my arms for a tight, full-body hug. "Oh, Katy, thank you so much for everything. I've learned so much from you. I really look up to you, you know that, don't you?"

"Oh, don't flatter me too much, sweetie," I said.

"Yeah, if you do, her ego won't fit in the apartment," Raeanne said.

Everyone laughed. Then Juanita broke the hug and said, "Can everyone throw something on, so Randy can come in? He was so worried about you all night long."

"He stayed the night at your house?" I said.

"He did. But he slept on the couch, and he didn't try anything, and Evelyn was with me the whole night, too. Katy, I really think he has changed!"

We all scrambled to find something to cover ourselves, and Angela got dressed to leave.

Juanita went to the door, but before she opened it, she turned to me and said, "Katy? Randy looks up to you. As he said, he sees that night as the pivotal moment when he realized he had to change his life."

Then we let Randy in. My heart did crazy flip-flops at the sight of him. Butterflies invaded my stomach, my knees felt weak, and the higher functions of my brain shut down. But I managed to keep it together and even, as Lori had suggested, "ride the high" his presence made in my soul.

"Randy," I said, "I'm so sorry about last night and having to leave all at once like that. It was very sweet of you to come by and check up on me."

"I'm so glad you feel that way," he said. "I didn't get a chance to say it last night, but I've come to think of you as my, well, my sister. I had a sister, she would have been your age, but she died of leukemia a few years back. But she was the only one who could occasionally talk some sense into me. And since she's been gone, I just really let myself go. I hated myself, I hated the world, I hated God. I was lurching from one failed non-relationship to another. And then you kicked my ass, and it was like she was still with me, somehow, and I knew I had to change, and I guess all of that sounds really, really dumb, I know..."

He stopped talking because, like most guys trying to talk about strong emotions, he had run out of words. Without a thought, I ran into his arms and held him close to me until he got himself collected. He returned the hug, and I could feel his body shaking with sobs he tried to control. The physical desire for him was still there, burning away brightly within me. Maybe it always would be? But it wasn't the dominant emotion in my heart, anymore. I could live with this. I could manage this.

When I felt I could speak, I said, "I really, really like this Randy. I'm so glad you're getting your life in order! I always thought you could be a better man, maybe that's why I hated the old you so much? Maybe I'm saying this all wrong, but I hope you know what I mean? You and Juanita make a cute couple. If you ever hurt her, I'll beat you within an inch of your life; you got that?"

"I do," he said. "And I know you can do it! Thank you, Katy."

"Hey, everybody?" I said, "How about we go get some breakfast?"

"It'd be lunch, now, sweetie," Lori said, "But I've got to run. I'm flying to Fort Davis. I didn't get a chance to tell you before, but I've got a date with your Mom."

###

Emotions. I no longer think of homo sapiens, humans, people, as being "thinking creatures that also have emotions." Now I see it for what we truly are: "Emotional creatures that can, but don't always, think." It's all so messy. So imperfect. So terrifyingly unpredictable. Sometimes truly hurtful, even. But it's what we are, and if we don't learn to live with them, then our emotions will rule us as tyrants, completely and without mercy, subject to their every whim. If we do learn to control them, then that crush you just felt for the girl you've never met at the cash register in the grocery store? The one you'll never get to know because you live in completely different worlds? Instead of feeling sad about it, delight in it! Because congratulations, your heart is still beating, and you're still alive. And feel good about that!

Because somewhere out there is someone looking at you and feeling the same way. Bet on it.