Carnal Desire Ch. 18-23

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With all of us ready to go, we got into our red Lincoln Navigator and drove to Jordan's parents place. Once we arrived, we shared our pleasantries, and chatted a little bit. All of the grandparents were excited to see the kids.

Surprisingly, Mark and Carolyn were just as supportive as Elias and Raquel about the three of us being together. I thought it might take some time for them to come around, considering the situation in which we found ourselves in at the time.

But once we confessed everything to them, they were completely understanding and have been there for us every step of the way. I guess it helps, that they've always accepted Jordan from the beginning. I was mostly worried about how they would react to me being in love with not only Jordan but their daughter as well. Thankfully I didn't have to worry about it for too long.

After our short visit with the in-laws, we finally arrived at the park. Finding a nice spot close to a tall oak tree, we set our blanket down. Creating a small circle, Jordan laid down on her side, me and Kennedy sitting up.

The conversation flowing freely as we talked about the kids or talking about future plans for us. One of the major things we were looking for was a bigger house. With the kids growing so fast, we knew we would have to give them their own rooms at some point.

Our four bedroom home isn't big enough, I hated moving out of my house. And the thought of selling it wasn't an option, so we decided to rent it out to a nice family a couple of years ago.

I notice Jordan getting up. "Excuse me my loves, but I need to use the restroom. I'll be right back." She winks at us and heads for the restrooms that are about fifty yards away.

"So, darling. I hate to say it, but we need to get back." I say as I turn to look at the beautiful woman in front of me.

"Do we have to?" Kennedy asks in a mock whiney voice. Her pouty lips are so inviting, I lean and kiss them.

And regretfully pulled away and looked her in the eyes. "Unfortunately, yes we do. Besides, you know you miss our babies just as much as I do." I commented as I nudged her shoulder.

"Can't argue there. Alright, let's go." She replied with a sigh.

Kennedy packed up our picnic basket while I folded our blanket. Kennedy and I started our short journey to the parking lot, putting our belongings in the back of the vehicle.

As we walked to the front of the SUV to wait for Jordan. Leaning against the vehicle, we turned to see Jordan walking out of the restroom. As soon as the honey eyed futa seen us, her smile shined bright. I could see the love in her eyes as her gaze fixed on me and Kennedy.

Then before I know what was happening, a loud bang echoes through the park. I look around and people are frozen, then another loud bang is heard. Everyone starts to run from the chaos.

I turn towards Kennedy and tell her to get down. It's then I look to Jordan. The red mark on her shirt is expanding, it's blood. In the distance I can hear a woman screaming hysterically. I immediately run to Jordan with Kennedy following close behind me.

I watch as she clutches her left side and drops to her knees. Jordan lays on her side. As soon as we reached her, both of us on either side of her. Kenney presses her hand on Jordan's hands, as I press on her shoulder. I yelled for Kennedy to call 911. She doesn't hear me at first until I shake her. Kennedy is crying uncontrollably, but she takes out her phone to make the call.

With tears streaming down my face. I look down at Jordan. "It's going to okay baby. Everything's going to be okay." I don't know who I'm trying to convince more, me or Jordan. She just nods her head as she looks at me. "Just stay with me baby, stay with us my love." I soothe her as I apply pressure to her shoulder.

Kennedy finishes her call, "the ambulance is on its way." She says to both of us.

Jordan looks at me then to Kennedy, blood starting to trickle out of the side of her mouth. She coughs, and more blood comes out. "I love you both so much." She manages to say between coughs. Her voice is raspy, it doesn't sound like her at all.

I brush the side of her face. "Everything's going to be fine. You're going to be okay." I say through my tears. I know it's only a matter of time before the dam will break. I can't let her see me break down, she needs to see me strong. She needs me to be strong.

"Tell our babies I love them." Jordan says with love in her eyes. She takes another glance at Kennedy, we both grab her hands. I tighten my grip to let her know I'm here. Jordan's eyes close. I could hear the faint sound of sirens in the background, the last coherent thought I remember is they're too late.

She's gone.

~~~~~•••••~~~~~

Authors Note

Salutations everyone! I would sincerely like to apologize for the slow updates. I'm undecided if I should continue this series on this forum. If I do continue it, it will depend on how well received this story is. So, if you would like to me to continue then vote or comment.

Thank you to all of you who have voted, commented, added and followed me throughout this process thus far. I appreciate all of the positive feedback and constructive criticism.

~TTFN~

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AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 months ago

Great news!!! :)

Bossalina49Bossalina492 months agoAuthor

I’m currently in the process of writing the first few chapters of the next installment. As of right now I’m not going to commit to an exact date. However, I’m hoping by the middle of May to have at least 7 edited chapters completed and published on this platform.

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

When can we expect you to continue the story?

Bossalina49Bossalina497 months agoAuthor

Thank you for your comments and constructive criticism, I truly appreciate it. Some of the things the both of you were saying I was feeling that as well. Which is why I’ve been making the changes I feel are necessary to the story.

And just so you know DommeCat, the story isn’t finished by a long shot.

AnonymousAnonymous10 months ago

Author I love this story.

But with the themes and kinks in your stories, you also hit the mark with me. The topics futa/intersex, polyamory, drama and angst always arouse my interest. If you would add affairs/cheating and cuckolding/cuckquean it would be my dream story. (Just didn't fit the characters up to this point in the story.)

I also love the relationship drama between the characters. Would have been boring if they met, fucked and just had a happy ending.

I also loved how you disguised the collaboration between Jay, KD and Ms. V by withholding parts from us and giving them to us later.

But the execution could have been a little better. I didn't believe KD's betrayal either. Wasn't in her character. And at a certain point I was very confused when you repeated chapters from previous parts. I knew I'd read the chapter before and didn't know why you're repeating yourself. The new information/POV didn't differ from the original chapter.

Retelling entire chapters word for word was also repetitive. I read the scene from March 26th, where Jay and KD almost fuck and KD then confesses, at least twice before. The scene is the hottest without any questions (except for the hot threesome), but a short summary would have sufficed.

I love the poly-angle you're presenting here, but it came out of nowhere. The characters of Ms. V and KD didn't seem like they would agree to a poly relationship. But I don't want to complain about this.

I would also like to mention that I'ld be happy with shorter parts too (1-3 chapters per part). I'm a person who wants to read everything at once and for a longer part I needs more time and needs to find a day off. If you write shorter parts, then you could upload the stories at shorter intervals. Maybe worth considering.

It doesn't matter whether you continue to write here or elsewhere, I'm with you. And I hope you want to continue this story a bit longer, because I still see potential.

If Jay survives but stays in the hospital for a long time, then there must be a lot of drama and stress in the family? Or if Jay is dead, then KD and Ms. V could have problems with each other because they might lack a dominant third partner?

However. Good work. Keep it up.

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