by EroticTechnique
The premise is good. Felt a bit rushed. Great potential, just need to slow down a bit. Looking forward to your next chapter.
It did feel rushed, and it’s not clear why Holly would have her room set up that way unless she was a Pro, but then her age etc doesn’t match up. Not bad but there were some flow issues.
Yes, it is rushed. A whole lot more could have been said at the bar, as well as going else where and building the tension between the 3 of them. I've taken the feedback on board for my next story.
Hopefully I'll keep improving, and I'll return to these 2 and do them justice