All Comments on 'Mark's Revenge Pt. 05'

So - when does Treva satisfy her comrades in crime?

Boring

Story line was OK, but you REALLY, REALLY need sn editor. There are so many spelling and grammar errors it ruins the experience for the reader.

you fucked up the whole story, who the fuck is Ben. you used that instead of Mark in parts of the story, looks like you copied and pasted the names on someone else's story and missed a few names of Ben and there were so many wrong word usage and spelling errors that took away from the story, even one star is too good for this crap you posted.

We all know revenge is a dish best served cold, this story has ice on it, time to avenge yourself

I like the story arc and would enjoy reading were the writing anywhere near clean. The work is in DIRE need of an editor.

You definitely need an editor but overall it was good! I love this re imagination of Cooper Family Pride! Keep going and don't let the negative comments get you down. My only other suggestion is that you use more whacky language. It's better suited in this situation.

I don't think you mentioned PENIS enough in section 1. You could have wrote it at least a couple hundred more times before it got annoying 😑. Obviously can't say what happened to cause this, but your writing took a drastic left turn, not in a good way, with this chapter. You really do need a better editor!

Good story. I can't wait to see what will happen in chapter 6. Maybe Mark will have sex with Katie with out a condom and make Trevor start acting more like a girl. Hope Hailey will let Mark have sex with her soon and once he has his revenge on his bully'sfamily he can marry Hailey and get her pregnant and make Katie move in as well so his mom can get revenge on her

As mentioned in another copmment, get yourself a good editor! There are wrong words in sentances and sentances that you probably meant to take out still in the text.

Some of your characters seem to say the same things over and over again, particularly Grace - maybe I particularly noticed this as I read all 5 parts over a weekend.

Be aware of time passing for your characters, that day when Mark awoke in the forest must have been about 96 hours long they did so much.

I'm not convinced how much revenge he is getting on Trevor's parents - Derek seems to be enjoying the game and doesn't seem to realise that his wife is sucking and fucking someone they despise (unlike Trevor), likewise Katie just seems to be enjoying it.

These are just meant as constructive criticism, please carry on as I want to know what happens next, particularly at the school

I read all 5 chapters the only real bad comment I have is 'who the #uck is Ben you keep replace Mark with Ben in sentences . So you need an editor to proofread your work

Way to long. Too much about Grace and Mark and the incest, why. Who is Ben, Get to the revenge in the 2 or 3 chapters. Add more clarity to the revenge. Story wanders to much PROOF READ, EDIT and REWRITE it. Basically what happened? Two stars.

False advertising no revenge except in the title, shit or get off the pot

Hello next chapter ?

I’m loving the direction this is taking haley seems to be a genuine soul that deserves mark. While mark continues the sex game I’m hoping the money doubles every time so they can take most if not all the smiths money then allow the police in on Trevor and dereks illegal gains. Please keep it up I can’t wait for the next instalment.

Oh and ignore the talentless bastards who criticise but are too cowardly to put a name to their bollocks I mean cooper family pride is fuck all like this I know because I’ve read about 10 chapters worth of it even though Nicequip only posted two on literotica. And even if some of the criticism was about a valid point the way you absoloute cunts say it is crazy what is your motive to make the author stop posting stop writing ? At least he has the balls to write a good story unlike you talentless assholes now go play in traffic as my job is done I can’t wait for the next chapter.