Nora's Big Mistake Ch. 23

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A boy was taken for the Agoge at the age of 18. At that moment, they were to be the teachers of those who entered the Agoge. They entered the Spartan army at the age of 20 and were forced to live in barracks. When he became 30, he was allowed to live at his home. At the age of 60 he retired, becoming a potential reserve force. But the life expectancy at that time was 60 anyway, so most of them died in the army.

It was hard to become a Spartan citizen. Your parents had to be Spartans, although there were some exceptions to this rule. You had to have successfully completed the Agoge. You were allowed into a Syssitia, which were the common messes of the Spartans which numbered 20 men.

One veto from any of the 20 members could disallow you to enter one and you would not become an Spartan citizen. You also had to pay a certain amount of your land's products to the Syssitia for the dining, if you could not you would lose your citizenship. Firstborn would often get their parents' land so that later born could never become citizens.

The Spartans were organized into regiments, called Moras, of about 600 men each. Each Mora had its own unique shield emblem. Contrary to popular belief, the Spartans didn't wear the Lambda.

Spartan's ate a thin broth so they could train their bodies to survive on less, which also meant that little resources were needed for the army.

Sparta reached the apex of her power during the Greco-Persian War in which they defied the Persian empire at the battles of Thermopylae and Plataea and the Peleponessian War where they even came as far as challenging Athens which at that time is the most powerful city-state of Ancient Greece.

Sparta, as well as Athens, Thebes and other Greek citystates, would be unified under Alexander the Great and his Macedonian Empire, and then later by the Roman Empire. Yet even in these eras, the Spartans continued to show their elitism through their military traditions. After Macedonia fell, Sparta became part of the Corinth League (337 BC-322 BC) and the Achaean League (280 BC-146 BC) before being the Achaean League was destroyed by the Achaean War.

Sparta became part of the Roman Empire as the Provincia Achaia (27 BC - 600 CE) and under the Byzantine Empire as Hellas (600 CE-1100 CE). Between 1661-1686 & 1715-1821; Sparta was part of the Ottoman Empire's Eyālet-i Mōrâ. Between 1686-1715 The Republic of Venice temporarily colonized the region before the Ottomans reclaimed it. The mid 1800s led to the wars of Greek Independence.

Two Spartan females were training against each other. They each had a Dory, a long pointed spear. The spears were 8 feet long, and weighed 5.5 lbs. They were wooden shafts with iron tips.

The two of them were each wearing plated armor. The armor weighs 65 lbs. The suits were made out of articulated steel plates, each with a steel armet helmet.

"Well," one of the women said. "This is a great moment." The woman had 34C breasts, short black hair, a 12.5 inch long cock, and blue eyes.

The other woman smiled. She had 34C breasts, short black hair, a 12.5 inch long cock, and blue eyes. Her name was Verona. "Focus Hailey," she said. "We're just sparing."

Hailey smiled. "Then let's spar," she said. "Okay Sis."

Verona nodded. They then proceeded to strike each other with javelins. The javelins were 4 feet long, weighed 1.5 lbs, and made out of a wooden shaft with iron tip.

Verona then threw her javelin at her sister. Hailey drew her 12 inch long blade and splintered the javelin in half. The blade widened near the tip and had close to a leaf shape.

The two women then began to bash each other with their aspises/shields. The shields were 40" in diameter, weighed 24 lbs, and made out of wood coated with bronze. They were continuing to spar against each other.

Hailey smiled. She pulled out a 20 foot long rope made out of natural fibers. It weighed 1 lb. She then proceeded to entangle her twin sister. They then proceeded to have sex.

Present Day...

Back at Nora's house...

Caitlin and her two daughters Chloe and Courtney were now resting together in bed.

What is going on with Loriane? Find out in the next chapter.

To be continued...

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  • COMMENTS
3 Comments
FutaLover79FutaLover79almost 3 years ago

I would like for you to focus on a narrative and stick with it. Get rid of all the fluff and extra fandoms like X-men, Dinobots, angels, demons, Avatar, Transformers, Animorphs, and whatever the hell else you shoved into this overly convoluted narrative. Get back to what the girls are going to do to stop the villain, get back to Dickgirl University and the girls learning various sexual activities, get back to interesting pairings and group sex with different characters.

There are also things you just need to stop doing.

- STOP with the overly long fluff descriptions of what the girls are eating, wearing, what games they’re playing or whatever sex toys they are using. Why even have sex toys anyway when every female has a big futa cock to plug holes with? Keep the descriptions of what the girls are wearing, but keep it brief. I want the girls to wear less clothing. More crop tops, booty shorts, tight fitting pants and tiny bikinis. I want to read about the fat bulges these girls are struggling to contain.

- STOP with the abrupt ending of sex scenes that seem to end before they begin. No more ‘let me suck your big futa cock, but wait, let’s drive 500 miles to the closest sex club’.

- STOP with the constant ‘we shouldn’t be doing this, I’m your mother’ and ‘I can’t cum in your pussy, you might get pregnant.’ Incest is hot. Every character in this story loves incest. Stop shying away from it. All of the girls in the main group have fucked each other multiple times so stop acting like they haven’t. More group sex. More orgies. Detailed orgies. This is a universe where characters have all sorts of crazy abilities, just make it so the characters only get pregnant if you really want to. More creampies, more pumping pussies full of futa cum.

-STOP with constantly referring to cum as ‘creamy ejaculate’. There are all sorts of other words for it. Use futa jizz, futa spunk, girl cum, rope after rope of delicious girl goo, etc.

Sorry for being so long-winded, but I’ve never read a story that’s so long with so little actually happening. I don’t want to abandon this story, but things are starting to get pretty stale!

AlexGuntherAlexGuntheralmost 3 years agoAuthor

In that case, what would you like to see happen?

FutaLover79FutaLover79almost 3 years ago

Is this story going to eventually go anywhere? This chapter is over 8 pages and almost nothing happens. It’s filled with backstory and fluff. Again, the only sex scenes were with the main characters. You’ve probably created over 100 characters in this story and we’ve only read about a handful of them when it comes to them fucking. I’m getting close to leaving this story behind if you don’t start to tighten up the narrative and actually do something with all of these characters.

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